I love this. I love that literally every problem you have with the game is solved by paying attention. This is going to be one,of my favorite blog series on Giant Bomb. You are a glorious madman.

As someone who adores FF8 in its sheer strangeness this was a blast to read.

A few things for Junctioning. In order to junction you need to assign or "junction" a GF to a character once you've done that you get to select moves to put in under command. The elemental junction are completely and totally broken to the point that if you grind on the beach in the first area to get 100 water spells you can basically one hit anything in the game for the next 4-5 hours. So once you have a GF junctioned to you you can add spell stock (the dumbest system in the world) to an attribute. Like adding water to your attack and cure to your hp slot.

As for the using the gunblade "pressing g" thing it does increase your damage slightly but its frame perfect so eh.

Yes Limit breaks are BROKEN. Like really thats how most people beat the last boss is get a certain character you can attack near infinitely if they're in a limit break state.

Also note you cannot actually grind in this game the enemies scale to you. If you want to make the game easier fight less and just get better spells and equipment.

PS. Xpadder is your friend on these half assed FF rereleases on steam and ho boy the twist in this game is close to the dumbest in all FF history. Enjoy the game duder its a hell of a ride. Also get used to "..." as the main response Squall gives.

Oh man. That's a heck of a FF game to pick as your first! If you had any recent Nintendo platforms, you can play many of the earlier ones on Virtual Console. But I think @thatpinguino was right-- this is gonna be great! Good luck!

There are a ton of ways to break the ever living hell out of this game. There is a Blue Magic technique that Quistis can learn that is basically a big "I Win" button.

I still stand by my opinion that the first three discs of this game is the best Final Fantasy game ever.

...probably should have started with IV if you wanted something clear cut and easy to understand. But yeah, even as someone who never played VIII, I'm looking forward to this.

I do not own a single handheld device and haven't since the GameBoy Advance.

I have been informed by @thatpinguino that I should play Triple Triad when I have the chance as well.

To the first paragraph: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

To the second paragraph: no spoilers please.

@zombiepie: Understood I felt that saying theres a twist was vague enough if you want me to edit it out just say so.

@zombiepie: FFIV is from the SNES, and it runs fine on emulators if you need to. Though, I guess jumping right into the deep of FF VIII is an option. heh

FFIV is one of the most ported and re-released games of all time alongside DOOM for a reason. It also includes my namesake, Tellah. So, I look forward to you getting around to it. :D

I played VIII when I was much younger....I don't even know how I got past the lava place. Not much later I got to a boss that kept kicking my ass and I ended up giving up and returning the game to blockbuster. I hadn't touched a FF game until since then until yesterday when I decided to get FFXIII on steam and play it. I'm sure I'll end up returning to 8 at some point and giving it a fair shot.

This blog series is ALREADY exactly what I want it to be. Are you ready for the madhouse that is PS1-era JRPG game mechanics? Don't worry. Like a lot of systems from that era, junctioning is way less complex than it pretends to be and way more exploitable.

The DS remakes of III and IV are totally on steam, but starting with this is a much better idea.

@arbitrarywater: No no no way I love FF3 like intensely but man the end of that game is FUCKED difficult even with 4 level capped characters and jobs maxed I couldn't beat that last dungeon. Like my god I've never givin up on a game in the last act before but I sure as hell dropped that like a sack of bricks.

I was more talking about IV than III. I am well aware of how fuuuuuuuuucked the DS version of FF III gets in terms of difficulty by the end. Or really, the start. That game is sort of mean and demanding.

*adjusts glasses* It's uh... kEfka, not kAfka.

I know this blog is made for entertainment, so I like the exaggerated reactions, but I would really advise to go with the flow. You won't understand this clusterfuck of a story man. It's better to give up now. Let it go. It doesn't make sense.

Side note: Brad saying that FF VIII is better than VII on twitter hurt me. The very core of my being shook, because EVERYTHING in FF VIII is bad. The junction system, the drawing system, the characters, the dialogue, the story. Jesus. Does he even remember this game? Fuck this game.

...Good luck ZombiePie. You'll need it.

Wow. I can't imagine never having played a FF and then starting with VIII. At least your expectations for the rest of the franchise won't be too high.

Starting with FF8.

I mean... at least it can only get better from here?

Why not? 8's systems make it very gamey. Just make the numbers go up to 255.

I'm really surprised you picked this one to start with.

I really like FF VIII as well.

In retrospect, this was the perfect Final Fantasy game to start you off with. I'd love to hear more about how your real-life experience as a teacher relates to the Gardens and SeeD. What kind of academy puts T-Rexes in their gymnasium?

Junctioning's easier to comprehend if you think of spells being like armor/weapons you equip to stats rather than body parts. More of that spell you have, the better the effect. Definitely get used to drawing a lot of magic from enemies whenever you meet a new one with new spells (and it's vital you do this with bosses! They have high-level spells and occasionally new GFs to siphon!). I went most of the game only using heal spells (and attack spells drawn from the monsters I was using them on, since they were replenishable resources) and the rest I kept attached to my stats where they could do the most good.

Continue being perplexed by the overall plot and other set-pieces. You're definitely not alone in that regard. Vent as necessary. (I'm just sad I can no longer do a FF8 "observations" blog similar to my Metal Gear Solid coverage.)

This is going to be a decent into madness faster than any Lovecraft novel. Grabbing the popcorn.

@zombiepie: I mean, Final Fantasy IV is available on something you own in some form. The PSP and PSVita can play the PSP remake of the game (probably the best version if you ask me), the PC, 3DS, and DS can play the DS remake, the PS3, PSP, and PSVita can play the PS1 version, there's a phone version, a GBA version, and the SNES version is available on the Wii U if I'm not mistaken. I might be missing a version, but that's a lot to choose from, and none of them are hard to find these days.

But yeah, I'm with everyone else, keep playing VIII. Just remember that not liking this one doesn't mean that you won't like any of the others, they are all vastly different games.

You uh...you might want to look over those tutorials again or you won't be making it very far. You certainly picked a hell of a one to start with, probably the least intuitive FF both mechanics and story wise. Though I shed a tear for the state of video game when you mentioned needing a waypoint. I know it's a struggle to pay attention to what teenagers with guns, blades, whips, and boomerang...shooters tell you, but you can do it!

I've never played this game without breaking it in half with Triple Triad so good luck with that! Oh, and remember that the random enemies level with you in this game.

One more thing, when you get the option to name a dog, be sure to name it something funny.

Enjoy one of Brad's favorite Final Fantasies!

Heh, this was a real fun read. I'm not one who's really all that enamoured with Final Fantasy (I've always leaned more towards the side of the Tales games... and even then only, like, two of 'em) but I have played the PS1 trilogy of 7, 8, and 9. And I undoubtedly found 8 to be the worst. I can distinctly remember beating every boss by just summoning the... summons over and over again, with their painfully long attack animations. That and the story was mega bunk. Music's pretty great, though, and despite playing it for the first time in about... 2005 maybe? I was still thoroughly impressed with its visuals. Though I'm also someone that has a soft spot for PS1 graphics.

If you're playing the Steam release you should use this Mod to remove the Midi music files and replace them with the PSX's. Or you could do what I did and replace every song with "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta"

Well this is everything I hoped it would be.

FF8 is my personal favorite FF game, so it's cool to see someone who's never even played one jump into it with this game. Keep going!

I'm also curious if my memories hold up to the reality of the game.

This is glorious, I hope you keep going!

Limit Breaks are indeed very powerful, especially in FFVIII, because the way the operate makes it possible to be in everlasting "limit break mode" and just use the constantly. But trust me when I say that Junctioning is crucial and if you figure out how to do it right you can bend this game over your knee and break it in half. Also, play the card game because good cards give you good items. I dunno, you'll probably figure it out yourself.

Wait a mo, you're a school teacher? Interesting.

Really enjoyed reading this and looking forward to the next Zombie. Most important tip: this game is from the late 90s... that means YOU NEED TO READ A MANUAL. How limits work, how junctioning work, who the characters are, how the flow of battle is, most everything is in the manual.

When I first played FFVIII I found all that black & white credits and intro scene very confusing too. But I did also find it mysterious and interesting, which I gather you didn't based on this write up. I think for me that came from the music in both cases (credits and opening). Having played and liked Final Fantasies (definitely a fan) before VIII what helps with that is both the legacy of the music but also knowing your going to have party members, and so you wonder who from what you've seen could be a party member, what their story is, etc.

I don't think the junction system is bad though it certainly isn't popular. Some ruin it for themselves by trying their damnedest to break it. Easy to forget nearly any game's system can be broken, but FFVIII's numbers are so exposed and transparent it's nearly a tease. I'd recommend not spending too much time drawing magic from enemies and just level up when you need to, maybe have 1 character focus on drawing constantly when fighting to get you stocked up. You can trade magic from them to other characters later. Playing like this you shouldn't need to grind too much in this game and it'll be obvious when you need to. Just go to the GF menu, and make sure they are learning abilities that look like STR-J, MAG-J, then do the ones that give you % bonuses. Junctioning magic to any statistic just increases the value of that stat. That's the whole thing in a nutshell.

About those keyboard controls... LOL. Can't you plug in a controller somewhow? Holy moly that is gaaaaarbage.

The opening movie probably makes more sense when played in an era of attract screens. Or anime intros.

Figuring out how Junctioning works and what spells are most effective applied to which stats and the way to refine powerful spells early is only half the battle. Enemies scale to the level of the party, and naturally Squall is always there, meaning when I got to the end boss in my first game, Squall was level 41 while everyone else was 22 or so, making every fight that much harder. I had to restart from THE END BOSS and do a much more clean playthrough where I controlled Squall's level by casting Break on him.

The Steam version will take a 360 controller, but you have to use the keyboard to bypass the keyboard controls screen.

VIII is not a good starting point imo, easily the worst leveling and magic system in the series.

I know for me this game runs mostly on nostalgia. I can't wait for you so go through the next few sections of the game which kind of act like bigger and harder versions of the tutorial. Luckily I do think the writing, keeping in mind this is a Final Fantasy game, gets better and the characters are interesting.

@steadying: @truthtellah: @believer258: I would like to direct all complaints about the selected game to my Final Fantasy Sherpa @thatpinguino. There's no stopping this and I have no desire to revisit this decision.

Also this is it. I'm most likely never playing another one of these games again.

I have indeed already downloaded the music mod.

Not just that, but I am a high school teacher. In theory I should be able to handle Squall and his vagabond attitude.

I'm just going to go ahead and say that when I looked at the screenshots for the DS remakes on Steam I thought the new graphics looked really stupid. I also wanted to have a more "authentic" experience for the purposes of this blog series.

Do you have many students who scar each other up in sword battles?

@zombiepie: Can I suggest something that is only applicable to a blog-writing FF neophyte? Do a blog feature where you play one hour of each Final Fantasy and give your impressions based off the first hour. I would be interested in reading those pure reactions. Might get expensive.

There's actually a lot of series that I might be interested in seeing someone demo the entire franchise. It would be interesting to see someone who never played Resident Evil demo them in order and comment on the changes in feel.

Not only does it look stupid, it's also capped at 15 frames. It runs like poop.

Great read! You really put a new perspective on my nostalgic rose colored view of this game. I played this when it originally came out on the PC and I loved every minute of it but after reading this I'm not sure I could go back to it without completely ruining my memory of it.

If I were to suggest a first FF, i'd probably pick IV. But regardless, VIII it is, there ain't no stopping this train we on.

- the ingame tutorial is awful. Highly suggest finding yourself a guide for mechanics. I'd look if I had more time.

- Don't use magic offensively, it usually sucks unless you can target a weakness. Save it for junctioning.

- Remember, Squall literally cannot miss on an attack. Even while blinded.

- Minor Spoiler, but it involves missables that can heavily affect your playthrough: Check what you can draw from enemies, especially bosses.

Oh boy I've been waiting for this one ever since you talked about it in the chat.