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Blizzard Gets Drunk on Panda Mystery, Announces Mists of Pandaria WoW Expansion

Enjoy the only headline of the day not to use the "Blizzard is Pandaren to the fans!" pun. Way too easy, guys. Way too easy.

Yep, this is happening.
Yep, this is happening.

Proving that Blizzard are the kings of the game industry when it comes to the long-con, the publisher announced today at its annual Blizzcon event that Mists of Pandaria, an expansion with roots originating in an elaborate April Fool's Day joke back in 2005, is actually a real thing that Blizzard is releasing next year.

Originally joked as a mysterious "fifth race," the Pandaren have nonetheless been a much talked-about part of the lore of World of Warcraft in subsequent years and expansions. Now, this new expansion will finally let you create a giant Panda Bear with a penchant for kung-fu fighting, and play him/her as a member of either the Horde or the Alliance. This is the first race in the game that doesn't automatically start out as part of either faction, once again proving that bears cannot be trusted.

In addition to the new playable race, Mists of Pandaria will up the level cap to 90, and add new talent systems, PVE scenarios, a new pet battle system, and a new dungeon challenge mode. Word on the street is that Mists of Pandaria is playable in some form at Blizzcon, so expect more salient details to flow throughout the web during the weekend.

In the meantime, I present to you the following song in celebration of this new Pandaren dominance.

Alex Navarro on Google+

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alex

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Edited By alex
Yep, this is happening.
Yep, this is happening.

Proving that Blizzard are the kings of the game industry when it comes to the long-con, the publisher announced today at its annual Blizzcon event that Mists of Pandaria, an expansion with roots originating in an elaborate April Fool's Day joke back in 2005, is actually a real thing that Blizzard is releasing next year.

Originally joked as a mysterious "fifth race," the Pandaren have nonetheless been a much talked-about part of the lore of World of Warcraft in subsequent years and expansions. Now, this new expansion will finally let you create a giant Panda Bear with a penchant for kung-fu fighting, and play him/her as a member of either the Horde or the Alliance. This is the first race in the game that doesn't automatically start out as part of either faction, once again proving that bears cannot be trusted.

In addition to the new playable race, Mists of Pandaria will up the level cap to 90, and add new talent systems, PVE scenarios, a new pet battle system, and a new dungeon challenge mode. Word on the street is that Mists of Pandaria is playable in some form at Blizzcon, so expect more salient details to flow throughout the web during the weekend.

In the meantime, I present to you the following song in celebration of this new Pandaren dominance.

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ballsnbayonets

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Edited By ballsnbayonets

lol bears

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tater3698

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Edited By tater3698

yessss best thing everr

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subrandom

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Edited By subrandom

PANDAS!

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TehFlan

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Edited By TehFlan

This is still ridiculous. Not that I really care about WoW, but still. Awesome.

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insane_shadowblade85

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That panda looks pretty cool.

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wolf_blitzer85

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Edited By wolf_blitzer85

I feel weird now.

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AyKay_47

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Edited By AyKay_47

so fucking stupid

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HadesTimes

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Edited By HadesTimes

The big story here too, is the WoW Pass. An annual subscription that you pay monthly that gets you Diablo 3 for free when it comes out. It all most makes me want to reactivate my Wow Account. All most....

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Aishan

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Edited By Aishan

Not sure it'll be enough to get me back into WoW.

Maybe just one month.

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SomeJerk

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Edited By SomeJerk

While I approve of their business model and the way they work, I still want to say that this is a shark I did not expect them to jump.
 
And you have no idea how many sharks there are left.
 
Infinite.
 
They'll retcon until the ends of time.

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ShakeItBaby

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Edited By ShakeItBaby

My real question is, what is the conflict of the expansion? Metzen said a greater focus on factional fighting, but what about pve? Who is the bad guy?!

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onan

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Edited By onan

And the number one threat? ...Bears.

(How do they follow up the Cataclysm with a gag expansion?)

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FengShuiGod

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Edited By FengShuiGod

Wow.....just....wow....

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Brackynews

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Edited By Brackynews

I have a free starter account that probably can't even use store pets, and I've had to stop myself more than once from buying the Pandaren pet.

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laserbolts

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Edited By laserbolts

If I was still into wow I would be pretty pissed right now.

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ThePencil

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Edited By ThePencil

The only reason i would get this is to see a panda in fucking full plate.

ADDENDUM: The only reason i would get this is to see a panda in fucking full plate, shooting another panda with a gun.

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mrpandaman

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Edited By mrpandaman

I may have to get into WoW again.

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Moonshadow101

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Edited By Moonshadow101

Most of what I read about this just looks... lazy. The fact that the Monk's tanking tree is called "Brewmaster" is just sad, and all of the eastern elements they're trying to throw in just don't seem like they've been thought through very far. I mean, the monk's resource is called "Chi." Seriously? Am I not supposed to cringe at that?

@SomeJerk: There have been about >two< actual retcons in the entire history of WoW. People overuse that word horribly.

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Vexxan

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Edited By Vexxan

I don't play WoW anymore but I'm kinda interested in how the new class(Monk) will work. We already have Priest so...what will it do?

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shintsurugi

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Edited By shintsurugi

Ryan must be stoked.

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Brendan

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Edited By Brendan

As someone who has never, and will never play WoW, I could not be more happy that this is a thing.

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ZombiePie

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Edited By ZombiePie

I approve of Sifl and Olly. Good job Alex.

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bwheeeler

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Edited By bwheeeler

Does the annual pass just mean you'll promise to pay your $15 a month for a full year?

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Afroman269

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Edited By Afroman269
@TehFlan
This is still ridiculous. Not that I really care about WoW, but still. Awesome.
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m0rdr3d

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Edited By m0rdr3d

Wow. Other than the free Diablo 3 news, this is about as silly as it gets. Wasn't the expansion supposed to KEEP people from jumping to TOR?

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Kyle

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Edited By Kyle

Finding it pretty hard to care about this...

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astonish

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Edited By astonish

psst the Panderan were actually in WarCraft III, in the expansion they had a playable hero in multiplayer. It goes further back than WoW april fools

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Efesell

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Edited By Efesell

Ahahah I love it.

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drowsap

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Edited By drowsap

what ever i guess its another reason to go back to wow for a month yea lol

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Edited By Sergio

@MagikOvenMit:

Pretty much, but upfront. I haven't seen the pricing, so it probably will be less than $180. I remember paying less with the 6 month subscription over the monthly fee when I used to play.

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BabyChooChoo

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Edited By BabyChooChoo

@m0rdr3d said:

Wow. Other than the free Diablo 3 news, this is about as silly as it gets. Wasn't the expansion supposed to KEEP people from jumping to TOR?

Anyone who is planning on jumping ship already made their decision. And no, I don't think so. I think 4.3 people is supposed to keep people from jumping to TOR. The expansion is supposed to keep them in WoW after they get bored of 4.3 (and whatever other content there is) and/or bring them back assuming they get tired of TOR. Besides, they're still pulling 8 digit sub numbers and while I imagine that will take a dive in the coming months, I highly doubt they're shaking in their boots.

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MichaelEM3

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Edited By MichaelEM3

World of Warcraft: Now With Bears!

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Efesell

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Edited By Efesell

@Sergio said:

@MagikOvenMit:

Pretty much, but upfront. I haven't seen the pricing, so it probably will be less than $180. I remember paying less with the 6 month subscription over the monthly fee when I used to play.

Doesn't seem to be, I already added it on.

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roughplague

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Edited By roughplague

Kung fu panda realized in an mmo, hehe.

Still, this is the most interesting thing I've seen about WoW, ever

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DougQuaid

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Edited By DougQuaid

So this expansion will be banned in China or will they be replacing all the pandas with walkietalkies or something?

@Vegsen said:

I don't play WoW anymore but I'm kinda interested in how the new class(Monk) will work. We already have Priest so...what will it do?

Druids, Paladins, Shaman and Priests all can heal.

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NinjaCommando

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Edited By NinjaCommando

Kung Fu Panda!

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Jayross

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Edited By Jayross

Man... They are just going to keep on going, huh? I love it.

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plop1920

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Edited By plop1920

I am so angry right now!!!!!

To be fair space goats crashing on the planet in a giant space ship was pretty stupid too

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TehJedicake

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Edited By TehJedicake

If WoW's pvp wasn't so carebear I'd still be playing it.

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gamer_152

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Edited By gamer_152  Moderator

This is hilarious but I'm not quite sure how I'll ever be able to take WoW seriously again.

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lockwoodx

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Edited By lockwoodx

We wanted pandarians 6 years ago, not now when the game has gone to crap. Sorry but pandarians are not worth getting back into that garbage.

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DHunter329

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Edited By DHunter329

FUCK YES SIFL & OLLY.

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Traegan

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Edited By Traegan

@shintsurugi said:

Ryan must be stoked.

He can make a lady-panda

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Hourai

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Edited By Hourai

I thought this was a joke for the first few paragraphs.

Cataclysm just came out a little while ago and they're already getting the next expansion ready. I'm kinda getting tired of starting over and over, missing content, having to discard all my gear, and pay another $40 on top of the monthly fees. It really feels like WoW is just reaching the end of its lifespan at this point. It's been too long now.

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Protonguy

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Edited By Protonguy

So there will literally be Panderen Carebears now?

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McShank

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Edited By McShank

Pandas finally come to wow.. it only took forever! WC3 made me love the pandaren and now they are here. I shall take a break from my 9month wow break and start playing again!... once it releases and none sooner >:D

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Codeacious

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@Kyle said:

Finding it pretty hard to care about this...

Especially since GW2 and TOR are coming.

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Edited By Kyle

@isnipeyoudie said:

@Kyle said:

Finding it pretty hard to care about this...

Especially since GW2 and TOR are coming.

Yup.