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Dane Cook Reviews Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

The game review business comes under fire from outsiders yet again as a famous stand-up comic muscles in on my gravy train.

Maybe I'll just take to reviewing movies, instead. Here, I'll try this one. My Best Friend's Girl looks like it probably sucks. How's that?
Maybe I'll just take to reviewing movies, instead. Here, I'll try this one. My Best Friend's Girl looks like it probably sucks. How's that?
Last year, we all witnessed the first salvo in the process that makes game reviewers obsolete. Yes, I'm talking about Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's shockingly accurate review of the Xbox Live Arcade release, Braid. At the time, he said... well, I actually don't really remember what he said. I just remember that feeling of being shaken to my very core.

Well, the full-scale invasion of famous-type people reviewing video games is now in full-swing. The latest transgression comes courtesy of stand-up-comic-turned-actor Dane Cook, who recently took a little trip to Infinity Ward to check out this "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2" game they're working on.

After the trip, he had this to say...
Infinity Ward - Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2: How good? Eating your fav ice cream while getting a bj in zero gravity ... is a close 2nd.
...oh, and he said it via Twitter. I suppose I should point that out so that the lack of specifics on the graphics, gameplay, number of levels, and "fun factor" makes a bit more sense. I like that he's ditched the whole "wait until the game is done" thing that the current crop of game reviewers seems so hung up on these days. Just get to the point already, right?

And, obviously, Cook comes with a pretty heavy pedigree. From another entry on the man's Twitter thing:
I'm a hardcore life gamer. ColecoVision was my meth growing up. Mr. Do!'s Castle was my turf. Looping was my bzitch. WarGames owned pwned.
LIFE GAMER, dude. Anyone that can casually name drop Looping is A-OK in my book. So that's why I'm packing up my stuff and turning my attention to more fruitful endeavors, such as my new business venture, jeffgerstmannshowsyouhowtorumba.com.

Well, regardless of my now-obsolete career, this all looks like sound purchasing advice to me. I mean, I like ice cream. And I like Call of Duty. And I like "ice cream," if you get what I'm saying. So clearly Modern Warfare 2 is going to be the greatest game of our generation. If you need me, I'll be packing up my things and crying.

[UPDATE]: As I was getting ready to fire Ryan and shut down the office, I showed him the text of Dane Cook's review and he immediately became infuriated. It seems that Ryan used this exact wording in his review of Raymen 2 for the N64, which was written back in 1999! Old habits die hard, eh Dane? Well I guess we ain't going nowhere and you can expect to hear from our legal team. Good day, sir.
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

147 Comments

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Civraz

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Edited By Civraz
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Pibo47

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Edited By Pibo47

I like dane cook in some of the movies hes in, not all...didnt really find him that funny either. He's an alright actor though.

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deactivated-5c5cdba6e0b96

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Dogbert47 said:
"
"Spencer
on Feb. 23, 2009
Well, jeffgerstmannshowsyouhowtopumpgas.com was a huge success, so I'm glad to see that you're branching out into more useful areas."

ROFLMAO
"
Ahahaha, who the hell made that site, it`s amazing.
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GiantGUS

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Edited By GiantGUS
Bucketdeth said:
"Dogbert47 said:
"
"Spencer
on Feb. 23, 2009
Well, jeffgerstmannshowsyouhowtopumpgas.com was a huge success, so I'm glad to see that you're branching out into more useful areas."

ROFLMAO
"
Ahahaha, who the hell made that site, it`s amazing.
"
I did, thanks!
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TwoOneFive

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Edited By TwoOneFive

why do people refer to dane cook as stand up comedian turned actor? he was trying acting for a little while way before he ever became super famous over the last decade. i remember he stared in a movie along side dennis rodman way back in the day dude, and he was aweful in it. i have no idea really how he got so famous, looking back he didnt have that many funny things to say. 

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Absurd

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Edited By Absurd

So much Dane Cook hate in this thread...I never thought he was that bad, I guess it's all aboard the internet hate train isn't it?

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RIP_Icewood

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Edited By RIP_Icewood

I would slap the shit outta Dane Cook if I ever met him. Hes comes off as a jerk and a douchbag. Not to mention he isnt funny at all. Excuse my foul language all you kiddies out there.

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Kazona

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Edited By Kazona

Dude! Now what am I supposed to do with my life-long ambition of becoming the greatest reviewer the world has ever seen? My dreams are shattered!

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GiantGUS

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Edited By GiantGUS
Kazona said:
"Dude! Now what am I supposed to do with my life-long ambition of becoming the greatest reviewer the world has ever seen? My dreams are shattered!
"
"SHOVE IT!" - jeffgerstmannshowsyouwhattodowithyourlifelongambitionofbecomingthegreatestreviewertheworldhasverseen.com
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jaks

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Edited By jaks

Didn't MC Hammer twitter a few weeks ago that he was going to Activision to check something out? Is Activision actually paying these z-list celebrities money to casually mention how awesome Activision games that are coming out are? Is this the saddest attempt at viral marketing since all I want for Christmas is a PSP?

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lamegame621

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Edited By lamegame621

http://jeffgerstmannshowsyouhowtopumpgas.com


Love the movie review, jeff.

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WilliamRLBaker

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Edited By WilliamRLBaker

Seems a lil....overprotective to me *after reading the entire thread over again* let alone I doubt Dane Cook truely means it as any sort of review just his opinion on the game *and thats what journalists like Jeff do is give opinions* to call into account his credibility in this field is really sort of silly since where does jeff or any one at any online gaming site have credibility in the field of offering opinion on games, Surfice to say you cannot call into account someones credibility on an opinion since every one has an opinion and its sourced from our own experiences no ones Opinion is right or wrong it just is.

Dane Cook likes the game...if he gives it the thumbs up then its just another reason that another gamer likes it that i might like it, the same with Soulja boys opinion on braid and last i checked quite a few Reviewers *opinionators* agreed that braid was the shit.

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Reverseface

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Edited By Reverseface

Who is Dan cook he obviously is known in america but anywhere else he's a none entity, because of his lack of world fame he deserves to die in a blender.

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Red

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Edited By Red

Man. Is Dane Cook secretly 12?

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GiantGUS

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Edited By GiantGUS
Red said:
"Man. Is Dane Cook secretly 12?"
Secretly?
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Kohe321

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Edited By Kohe321

Funny article XD

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SoothsayerGB

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Edited By SoothsayerGB

Just more proof that Dane cook should be shot in the face.

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DECA555

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Edited By DECA555

god this guy is such a tool 

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raidingkvatch

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Edited By raidingkvatch
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ZeroCast

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Edited By ZeroCast

I never liked Dane Cook but anything, and i do mean anything, related to Modern Warfare 2 is good for me....even if it was described as a weirdawesomes thing...you know what i mean...

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burjeffton--defunct

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That website is awesome.

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floodiastus

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Edited By floodiastus

haha that domain rocks


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Bloodweaver

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Edited By Bloodweaver

It is funny to see all the haters in here. I srsly thought that people would show a little bit of maturity instead of bashing on someone who DID play a game before anybody and liked it, I don't think it really matters if he described it just like Ryan did for rayman 2. This is a game website isnt it? I think people should stop complaining about "how Dane Cook is bad" and probably focus on games.

I personnaly like Dane Cook on a certain level. I am not protecting him for what he did but hell stop with the stupidity and talk about games!!!

P.S. Jealousy won't lead you to be a better person, you should keep your irrevelant comments about Dane and talk about CODMW2 instead. This is probably going to be flamed but I don't care... seriously guys... grow up!

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piropeople13

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Edited By piropeople13

Comparing COD: MW2 to getting a bj? o_O

Can Dane Cook say anything without being crude?  This is okay for a joke or two on one of his stand-ups but this?  Seriously.

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citizenkane

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Edited By citizenkane

I really wish Dane Cook would jump off a cliff.  He serves no purpose to society.

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N2NOther

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Edited By N2NOther

I think he's funny...I love how it's "cool" to hate this guy...I wonder why that is. I mean millions of other people think he's funny, so he must be doing something right...And say what you want, his last standup Rough Around the Edges had one of the most spot-on descriptions/depictions of what guys go through when we don't have condoms and we're about to get laid...That is, if you can actually relate to such a thing as "getting laid"...

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Hexpane

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Edited By Hexpane

Dane Cook is an unintentional comedian.  He is only funny when trying to be serious  THERE IS ONLY 1 ROCKTOBER!!!! now that was funny, but he was trying to be cool.   Yet another "i'm famous for being kinda cute" talentless bore

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Andheez

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Edited By Andheez

Dane Cook = Not Funny

So overrated, might have 1 funny joke a set.  Ever notice how he repeats EVERY JOKE 2, 3 or 4 times as if it will get funnier.  Also just because you are animated and scream a lot, it doesnt make weak material strong.....but guessing by his following I could be wrong on that apparently.

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Media_Master

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Edited By Media_Master

its on now

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daniel_beck_90

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Edited By daniel_beck_90
jakob187 said:
"Arkthemaniac said:
"Dane Cook is a cocknugget."
I 100% agree...


  Me too
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klinkcow

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Edited By klinkcow

this is hilarious

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Xiemos2

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Edited By Xiemos2

Both those websites are f'ing amazing.

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fourzerotwo

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Edited By fourzerotwo

I enjoy this post..... immensely.  Mostly due to reading the comments, and seeing how many people TOTALLY missed the joke in the update. 


This works on many many levels.
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Wrect

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Edited By Wrect

Nice try, fourzerotwo.  But everyone knows that your last post was directly ripped-off of a post that Louis C.K. made on NeoGaf in 2003.

For shame.

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Sekoku

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Edited By Sekoku

>> Uh, I don't get why Infinity Ward would even let Dane Cook in their offices, let alone having him check out MW2. 


"FourZeroTwo" is apparently buddy-buddy with him. But isn't there that whole NDA thing while the game is in development?
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pause422

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Edited By pause422

Dane Cook needs to fall over dead already.

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SentientMoustache

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feeling the heat! hah Jeff.......

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darkstorn

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Edited By darkstorn

Dane Cook has to be the most unfunny man in America (and Cananda).

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Jayge_

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Edited By Jayge_
fourzerotwo said:
"I enjoy this post..... immensely.  Mostly due to reading the comments, and seeing how many people TOTALLY missed the joke in the update. 

This works on many many levels.
"
Are you the real one? I can't remember.
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mawfu

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Edited By mawfu

jeffgerstmannshowsyouhowtorumba.com  best site ever.

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CrescentFresh

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Edited By CrescentFresh

Yay! Fight the good fight, Jeff!

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REMOVE_NOZZLE

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Edited By REMOVE_NOZZLE

sarcasm overload ****head blows up*****

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deltron

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Edited By deltron

You can talk about Cha Cha
Tango, Waltz, or de Rumba
Jeff Gerstmann's dance has no title
You jump in the saddle
Hold on to de bridle!
(Jump in de line, rock your body in time) OK, I believe you!

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W1NGMAN

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Edited By W1NGMAN

 Ive always liked Dane Cook....but it seems to be the popular thing to hate him on here.

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supremebeing87

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Edited By supremebeing87
@ Jackel2072

And Haze is the...POPE!

hahaha,
I hate dane cook (I don't capitalize his name because he's not a proper noun) so much and I honestly don't belive that Infinity Ward would let him try out any version of any game in existance...unless they said to theirselves "let's get dane cook, and everything he likes about the game...scrap it....'cause he's a douche." Then as dane was walking out the door they said "Thank you for stopping by" then as they shut the door, they added "Ya Cunt!".
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SenorDingDong

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Edited By SenorDingDong

Hold on.  Looping is a real game!?!  Maybe I shouldn't have placed an edit request saying that Dane Cook announced that this game was his 'bzitch'.  Maybe someone that knows some actual info about the game should make a small article.  The page currently looks incredibly bare.

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Shazam

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Edited By Shazam

Before this, I'd say Dane Cook is hot as hell - I'd do time for that shit. His humour has never really factored with me, he's just not my type of comedian. I'm a Bill Hicks/Dennis Leary angry, rage-filled kinda person. Something nice to look at, not listen to. So he's never had a chance to annoy me with his supposed unfunniness.

Well, he's annoyed me now. Plagiarism is such a turn-off. He needs to grow a pair and start writing his own reviews. At least Jeff served him a slice of the magical sarcasm pie, I wonder if he replies?