imperiousrix's Conan (Xbox 360) review

Cast me out of Valhalla, please...

Now, I like sword slashing and boob ogling as much as the next guy, and there's plenty of both in THQ's new Conan game. It's been a while since we've seen any sort of digital representation of everyone's favorite barbarian, and although there's plenty of gory action and high fantasy to be found in this Cimmerian's hack and slash effort, repitition and poor design choices lead to more headache than head rush.

So here's the rundown of this game's story. As Conan, you'll start the game attempting to raid some ancient treasure, but instead, end up releasing some evil wizard to proceeds to strip you of your armor, turning it into a slew of evil minions who proceed to wreak havoc on the Hyborian world. Now, aided by a warrior queen, Conan must hunt down his armor and seal the wizard in his prison once again. This is no masterpiece, but considering that this game is all about hacking baddies into piles of mangled body parts, it's really not important.

What is important is how this game plays, and initially, it seems pretty solid. The controls are responsive, and cutting baddies is all good fun. The game also gives you some choices on how to do that, as you can attack with a single sword, dual swords, sword and shield, or large spear and sword weapons. The variety of ways to kill initially seems great, but as you progress through the game, repetition rears it's hideous face, and later enemies need to be killed with specific techniques, which means your arsenal is going to be even more stunted which really isn't much fun. There are some half hearted platforming bits as well as puzzles to solve in Conan, but these are more often than not, poorly done, and it's a shame that you just won't find yourself really clamoring to get back into combat, no matter how blood thirsty you are.

The presentation of Conan seems equally stunted. Although the stirring soundtrack is a solid addition to the sound quality of the game, the voice acting is either too hammy or too subdued. I love Ron Perlman, honestly, but the way he voices Conan here is too tame and just too intellectual. It's a bad fit.

On the graphical side... ugh... let's not really talk about that. Blocky textures and un-detailed player models galore here. Animations of Conan's skull splitting moves are decent, but they're not really going to bring down anyone's house. Disappointing for a next gen title.

Throw in a single player campaign that is just too long cosidering the game's derivative gameplay, and we have a recipe for mediocrity brewing in Conan.
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Other reviews for Conan (Xbox 360)

    Disappointing 0

    Conan is in someways satisfying and in other ways very disappointing. A positive is definitely the many different ways to gruesomely kill enemies.  Slicing enemies arms and heads off or skewering the enemy onto a fence is very satisfying. Also the environments, especially the beach areas I really liked the feel of.The negatives for me were the voice acting, boss fights, camera issues, lack of atmosphere and length of the game. I managed to finish it in just under 6 and a half hours and with no m...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

    Smite your enemies 0

    Through playing Conan i often wondered what the game would be like without the exist of God of War. It certainly tries to set itself of in such a manner as to which you can't help asking that question. However once you get bast this barrier of hating unoriginal gameplay, you'll find that Conan is actually a fun little game Conan begins as he opens a tomb and releases the black plague amongst the world. While doing this he loses his armor and must go back and retrieve it. He meets a young warrio...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

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