Cast me out of Valhalla, please...
So here's the rundown of this game's story. As Conan, you'll start the game attempting to raid some ancient treasure, but instead, end up releasing some evil wizard to proceeds to strip you of your armor, turning it into a slew of evil minions who proceed to wreak havoc on the Hyborian world. Now, aided by a warrior queen, Conan must hunt down his armor and seal the wizard in his prison once again. This is no masterpiece, but considering that this game is all about hacking baddies into piles of mangled body parts, it's really not important.
What is important is how this game plays, and initially, it seems pretty solid. The controls are responsive, and cutting baddies is all good fun. The game also gives you some choices on how to do that, as you can attack with a single sword, dual swords, sword and shield, or large spear and sword weapons. The variety of ways to kill initially seems great, but as you progress through the game, repetition rears it's hideous face, and later enemies need to be killed with specific techniques, which means your arsenal is going to be even more stunted which really isn't much fun. There are some half hearted platforming bits as well as puzzles to solve in Conan, but these are more often than not, poorly done, and it's a shame that you just won't find yourself really clamoring to get back into combat, no matter how blood thirsty you are.
The presentation of Conan seems equally stunted. Although the stirring soundtrack is a solid addition to the sound quality of the game, the voice acting is either too hammy or too subdued. I love Ron Perlman, honestly, but the way he voices Conan here is too tame and just too intellectual. It's a bad fit.
On the graphical side... ugh... let's not really talk about that. Blocky textures and un-detailed player models galore here. Animations of Conan's skull splitting moves are decent, but they're not really going to bring down anyone's house. Disappointing for a next gen title.
Throw in a single player campaign that is just too long cosidering the game's derivative gameplay, and we have a recipe for mediocrity brewing in Conan.