Do I Really Have To Come Up With A Title For These Every Week?

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jakob187

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Edited By jakob187

Of all the weeks that have had an impact on me, this past one definitely holds an interesting place for me.  I played two games that are such polar opposites and showcase exactly what I do and don't love about games that it makes me think back to the days when I was writing reviews...which is not necessarily a good thing.  I watched one movie that gave me one of the most intense feelings I've rarely ever had with a film.  Above all else, I've realized that there are new journeys I wish to take in my life. 
 
To start, I went by Blockbuster on Monday, as I hadn't been by there in a long while - since I was living with my roommates down on Lake Shore.  I went in solely with the intention of renting a copy of The Hurt Locker, a film that I've heard a lot about but never came to my town because the theatres decided that an indescribable war movie wouldn't bank in our town as much as a movie like Precious would...and to be honest, they were probably right.  I'm not putting down Precious at all, as I haven't seen the movie...and I'm sure that it's a perfectly fine and competent movie (if Mo'nique's win at the Globes is any indication).  However, this has to be said:  cities and their general direction of economic growth can piss me off sometimes, especially when they focus on keeping the ghettos as ghettos in order to pimp out the ghetto culture.  Treat your people like they have a fucking brain, even if they might not. 
 
Continuing on...I ended up deciding as I walked in the door that I wanted to see if they had any copies of Bayonetta as well, as I hadn't gotten to play it and have really had an itch for some high-octane action combat after playing Darksiders so much (which I STILL haven't 1k'd yet, but it will happen soon enough...I hope).  As I picked up my copies of Bayonetta and The Hurt Locker, I happened to notice in my peripheral a copy of Brutal Legend on sale, which was another game I wanted to check out despite the generally mixed reviews on it.  I mean, for fuck's sake, I'm a metalhead.  It's almost imperative, right?  It was a mere $20, and I figured it was worth that price if anything else...and if not, I could always trade it in towards my copy of Dante's Inferno on the 9th. 
 
SOOOO...let's start at the top: 
 

"HA! GOTCHA WITH THAT RTS STUFF!" 
Brutal Legend was the first thing that I plugged in, and right off the bat, it was like a wet dream!!!  There was a massive amount of heavy metal and metal-oriented going-ons, especially when I start slaying some druidic-looking cultists with my mighty axe to the sounds of Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave".  The combat feels a bit clunky, mainly in the fact that I don't feel the hits actually happening most of the time.  I see the axe swinging, but the hits just feel a bit dull.  In driving the Deuce (which I refuse to call anything other than the Druid Plow, as that sounds sweeter...but for your instant recognition, I'll call it the Deuce), I found that the driving controls were also relatively clunky.  The handbrake/U-turn just doesn't feel that great, and the handling wasn't sensitive enough for me, leading to many occasions of careening out of control over some random thing here or there.  Thank God there aren't any invisible walls to block me most of the time.  Then, it hit me:  I hadn't seen any RTS gameplay yet.  As soon as I thought that, it popped up wtih my first RTS segment.  Shortly after, the words "fuck this" whispered out of my mouth, followed by an agonizing "why, Tim...why?".  That's not to say that the RTS elements are broken either...but they, as well as the combat and the driving...are clunky.  The use of a music/rhythm game setup for the different solos felt a bit unnecessary, as why should I have to pull up a radial menu and THEN push a lot of other buttons when I need that Battle Cry on my troops NOW? 
 
In short...Brutal Legend has great style and great characters, something to be expected from a game carrying the moniker of Mr. Schafer.  However, the execution of all these elements don't blend together well, and in general, the game feels clunky.  =  /  If you can find it on the cheaps, and you need something to fill a couple of hours, jumping in here is perfectly acceptable...but longer sittings just aren't recommended. 
 
She got that honky tonk ba-donk-a-donk... 
She got that honky tonk ba-donk-a-donk... 
When we finally closed down as work, it was time to put in Bayonetta and experience this supposed "insanity" that people kept telling me about.  Within the first ten minutes of the opening cutscene...I already knew I was in for quite the ride.  Bayonetta is ballsy, reckless, bat-shit crazy, nonsensical, fierce, bold, sexually and violently charged, and badass in ways that many games just AREN'T anymore!  The combat is so incredibly deep and yet requires some fast-as-a-race-car button sequencing that your fingers will go numb (something that could also be said of DMC3 on its hardest difficulties).  Moreover, Bayonetta is a thrill ride.  I hate it when a critic says "thrill ride" about something, but this seriously is one of the best thrill rides out there, and that is solely BECAUSE it's so damn nonsensical.  You'll watch cutscene after cutscene giggling and laughing, feeling a little awkward, and saying "THAT WAS AWESOME"!  My only two complaints so far (at Chapter 10 of my first playthrough) are that there are a couple of supremely cheap-ass enemy types which bogged down my progress to a halt as I screamed in frustration "WHEN DID THIS BECOME NINJA FUCKING GAIDEN?!" and...you know what, take that back - I only have the one complaint at the moment. 
 
If you want something to get your adrenaline going and put your fingers to the test, then Bayonetta is a supremely stellar game that deserves your attention. 
 
One crazy muthafucker!!! 
One crazy muthafucker!!! 
On the movie front, The Hurt Locker is an impacting movie that comes from, of all people, the director of Point Break.  With Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow and crew do many things right: 
  • Building proper tension - the actors really knew how to get the subtle nuances in their faces to create a great level of anxiety and frustration
  • Good use of handheld - many movies get too shaky when the cameramen are using a handheld filming style, and I don't mean like Blair With gets shaky.  However, Bigelow's crew handled the shots incredibly well, offering a very natural feel to everything without trying to scream out "hey, look, we're using handhelds".  It really did help with the factor of immersion.
  • Genuine emotion - Jeremy Renner's performance aside, everyone in this movie felt right.  Sanborn's frustration, Beckham's enthusiasm, Eldridge's depression - everyone delivered exactly where they needed to.  However, it was Renner's performance as Will that really glued it all together.  The walk, the talk, the expressions, the tone, the aggressiveness, the sorrow, the dilemma that is Will is the making of a classic film character, and Renner deserves all the honors that exist for this role.  Few times before this has an actor made me yell at his character so much during the viewing of a movie about how much of a badass dumbass he is.
 
If you are looking for a good, earnestly delectable film to watch, pick up The Hurt Locker.  If you don't find yourself enthralled by it, then you might need to get to a doctor and find out what's wrong with you. 
 
Outside of that, I think I'm going to take up Scotch tasting.  I've always enjoyed a good scotch, and thanks to some dood named Ralfy having a ton of great and informative videos on YouTube, I'm going to try and hunt down a bottle of Glenfiddich 15y Solera in the next week or two after watching Ralfy's review of it.  Any other scotch lovers out there (and I don't mean just to get drunk)? 
 
Until next time, PIECE!!!
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#1  Edited By jakob187

Of all the weeks that have had an impact on me, this past one definitely holds an interesting place for me.  I played two games that are such polar opposites and showcase exactly what I do and don't love about games that it makes me think back to the days when I was writing reviews...which is not necessarily a good thing.  I watched one movie that gave me one of the most intense feelings I've rarely ever had with a film.  Above all else, I've realized that there are new journeys I wish to take in my life. 
 
To start, I went by Blockbuster on Monday, as I hadn't been by there in a long while - since I was living with my roommates down on Lake Shore.  I went in solely with the intention of renting a copy of The Hurt Locker, a film that I've heard a lot about but never came to my town because the theatres decided that an indescribable war movie wouldn't bank in our town as much as a movie like Precious would...and to be honest, they were probably right.  I'm not putting down Precious at all, as I haven't seen the movie...and I'm sure that it's a perfectly fine and competent movie (if Mo'nique's win at the Globes is any indication).  However, this has to be said:  cities and their general direction of economic growth can piss me off sometimes, especially when they focus on keeping the ghettos as ghettos in order to pimp out the ghetto culture.  Treat your people like they have a fucking brain, even if they might not. 
 
Continuing on...I ended up deciding as I walked in the door that I wanted to see if they had any copies of Bayonetta as well, as I hadn't gotten to play it and have really had an itch for some high-octane action combat after playing Darksiders so much (which I STILL haven't 1k'd yet, but it will happen soon enough...I hope).  As I picked up my copies of Bayonetta and The Hurt Locker, I happened to notice in my peripheral a copy of Brutal Legend on sale, which was another game I wanted to check out despite the generally mixed reviews on it.  I mean, for fuck's sake, I'm a metalhead.  It's almost imperative, right?  It was a mere $20, and I figured it was worth that price if anything else...and if not, I could always trade it in towards my copy of Dante's Inferno on the 9th. 
 
SOOOO...let's start at the top: 
 

"HA! GOTCHA WITH THAT RTS STUFF!" 
Brutal Legend was the first thing that I plugged in, and right off the bat, it was like a wet dream!!!  There was a massive amount of heavy metal and metal-oriented going-ons, especially when I start slaying some druidic-looking cultists with my mighty axe to the sounds of Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave".  The combat feels a bit clunky, mainly in the fact that I don't feel the hits actually happening most of the time.  I see the axe swinging, but the hits just feel a bit dull.  In driving the Deuce (which I refuse to call anything other than the Druid Plow, as that sounds sweeter...but for your instant recognition, I'll call it the Deuce), I found that the driving controls were also relatively clunky.  The handbrake/U-turn just doesn't feel that great, and the handling wasn't sensitive enough for me, leading to many occasions of careening out of control over some random thing here or there.  Thank God there aren't any invisible walls to block me most of the time.  Then, it hit me:  I hadn't seen any RTS gameplay yet.  As soon as I thought that, it popped up wtih my first RTS segment.  Shortly after, the words "fuck this" whispered out of my mouth, followed by an agonizing "why, Tim...why?".  That's not to say that the RTS elements are broken either...but they, as well as the combat and the driving...are clunky.  The use of a music/rhythm game setup for the different solos felt a bit unnecessary, as why should I have to pull up a radial menu and THEN push a lot of other buttons when I need that Battle Cry on my troops NOW? 
 
In short...Brutal Legend has great style and great characters, something to be expected from a game carrying the moniker of Mr. Schafer.  However, the execution of all these elements don't blend together well, and in general, the game feels clunky.  =  /  If you can find it on the cheaps, and you need something to fill a couple of hours, jumping in here is perfectly acceptable...but longer sittings just aren't recommended. 
 
She got that honky tonk ba-donk-a-donk... 
She got that honky tonk ba-donk-a-donk... 
When we finally closed down as work, it was time to put in Bayonetta and experience this supposed "insanity" that people kept telling me about.  Within the first ten minutes of the opening cutscene...I already knew I was in for quite the ride.  Bayonetta is ballsy, reckless, bat-shit crazy, nonsensical, fierce, bold, sexually and violently charged, and badass in ways that many games just AREN'T anymore!  The combat is so incredibly deep and yet requires some fast-as-a-race-car button sequencing that your fingers will go numb (something that could also be said of DMC3 on its hardest difficulties).  Moreover, Bayonetta is a thrill ride.  I hate it when a critic says "thrill ride" about something, but this seriously is one of the best thrill rides out there, and that is solely BECAUSE it's so damn nonsensical.  You'll watch cutscene after cutscene giggling and laughing, feeling a little awkward, and saying "THAT WAS AWESOME"!  My only two complaints so far (at Chapter 10 of my first playthrough) are that there are a couple of supremely cheap-ass enemy types which bogged down my progress to a halt as I screamed in frustration "WHEN DID THIS BECOME NINJA FUCKING GAIDEN?!" and...you know what, take that back - I only have the one complaint at the moment. 
 
If you want something to get your adrenaline going and put your fingers to the test, then Bayonetta is a supremely stellar game that deserves your attention. 
 
One crazy muthafucker!!! 
One crazy muthafucker!!! 
On the movie front, The Hurt Locker is an impacting movie that comes from, of all people, the director of Point Break.  With Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow and crew do many things right: 
  • Building proper tension - the actors really knew how to get the subtle nuances in their faces to create a great level of anxiety and frustration
  • Good use of handheld - many movies get too shaky when the cameramen are using a handheld filming style, and I don't mean like Blair With gets shaky.  However, Bigelow's crew handled the shots incredibly well, offering a very natural feel to everything without trying to scream out "hey, look, we're using handhelds".  It really did help with the factor of immersion.
  • Genuine emotion - Jeremy Renner's performance aside, everyone in this movie felt right.  Sanborn's frustration, Beckham's enthusiasm, Eldridge's depression - everyone delivered exactly where they needed to.  However, it was Renner's performance as Will that really glued it all together.  The walk, the talk, the expressions, the tone, the aggressiveness, the sorrow, the dilemma that is Will is the making of a classic film character, and Renner deserves all the honors that exist for this role.  Few times before this has an actor made me yell at his character so much during the viewing of a movie about how much of a badass dumbass he is.
 
If you are looking for a good, earnestly delectable film to watch, pick up The Hurt Locker.  If you don't find yourself enthralled by it, then you might need to get to a doctor and find out what's wrong with you. 
 
Outside of that, I think I'm going to take up Scotch tasting.  I've always enjoyed a good scotch, and thanks to some dood named Ralfy having a ton of great and informative videos on YouTube, I'm going to try and hunt down a bottle of Glenfiddich 15y Solera in the next week or two after watching Ralfy's review of it.  Any other scotch lovers out there (and I don't mean just to get drunk)? 
 
Until next time, PIECE!!!
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CornontheCobbe

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#2  Edited By CornontheCobbe

Excellent read. Brutal Legend is indeed fucking kickass. Speaking of ass, Bayonetta certainly has a nice one.
 
Looking forward to next time.

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deactivated-61665c8292280

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I don't know, man. I happen to love Point Break. In all its cheesyness.

But, yeah. Hurt Locker was really fucking good.

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#4  Edited By jakob187
@Sir_Ragnarok: Oh, not knocking Point Break at all.  However, Point Break and The Hurt Locker are such contrasting styles of film that it's insane to think the same director actually made them both.  She also happened to direct Near Dark and Strange Days, both of which are films that I thoroughly love.  Unfortunately, I didn't think she'd be going very far after making K-19: The Widowmaker.
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#5  Edited By Claude

You blew off Dragon Age, so I was going to ignore you, plus I don't give a crap about the games you're talking about. I then remembered that you don't give a shit either, so I decided to say this. You're a good writer, nice read.

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#6  Edited By c1337us
@jakob187: I take it the point in Chapter 10 you are referring to is the bit after that gauntlet of plants you encounter those two golden versions of one of the "standard" enemy types that for some reason only loose health very slowly and you can't enter slow down? If so I know exactly what you are talking about, that moment frustrated me a fair bit, Took me quite a few attempts to get around them and that was just on Normal.
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#7  Edited By jakob187
@c1337us said:
" @jakob187: I take it the point in Chapter 10 you are referring to is the bit after that gauntlet of plants you encounter those two golden versions of one of the "standard" enemy types that for some reason only loose health very slowly and you can't enter slow down? If so I know exactly what you are talking about, that moment frustrated me a fair bit, Took me quite a few attempts to get around them and that was just on Normal. "
Actually, I'm referring to the two enemies in the narrow bending hallway that have the red claws and the blue claws...and do a pop-up combo that wrecked half my health bar...and then kept jutting around everyone and generally pissing me off...and made me blow through 12 fucking continues!  LOL  I figured this was just something that maybe I had experienced and was just no good at, but everyone that has played the game that I've talked to...when I mentioned "frustration"...they have all said "YOU MEAN THOSE RED AND BLUE CLAW DOODS IN THE HALLWAY?!"...so I'm feeling like it's a bit universal. 
 
@Claude said:
" You blew off Dragon Age, so I was going to ignore you, plus I don't give a crap about the games you're talking about. I then remembered that you don't give a shit either, so I decided to say this. You're a good writer, nice read. "
Claude, you can't ignore me...and you know this, man!  I only blew off Dragon Age because Edge of Reality is dragging their goddamn feet on getting a patch out for the consoles...and BioWare seems to be more focused on making money via DLC and expansion packs than kicking Edge of Reality in the ass and getting the patch made.  I feel I'm justified 100% in my stance against Dragon Age until both BioWare and Edge of Reality get their shit straight.  I never said it was a bad game, though.  Like I said, the six hours I spent with it was six of the best hours of gaming IN MY LIFE.  Unfortunately, that's what made the game-breaking bug hurt so much more and make me denounce the game until a patch is released to alleviate the issues. 
 
Also, I'm a shit writer.  I just happen to have a natural flow to things.
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#8  Edited By c1337us
@jakob187: Yeh it was that kind of enemy that I was having trouble with in that particular chapter too. But for some reason instead of being red and blue, they were all gold and much harder to kill on this occasion.
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#9  Edited By Linkyshinks
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jakob187

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#10  Edited By jakob187
@c1337us said:
" @jakob187: Yeh it was that kind of enemy that I was having trouble with in that particular chapter too. But for some reason instead of being red and blue, they were all gold and much harder to kill on this occasion. "
AH, YES!  The ones that won't activate any Witch Time.  For some reason...they were easier for me.  Fucking weird, eh? 
 
Also, Bayonetta delivers the best line in a video game:  "I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town!" 
  
@Linkyshinks said:
" Glad your enjoying Bayonetta, I thought you might. 
 
BTW, duder be calling yo ass 
 
http://www.giantbomb.com/xbox-360/60-20/capcom-x-microsoft-get-happy-360-owners/35-384497/#68 "

Le sigh.  Maybe I should write an articulate paragraph in next week's blog explaining that I'm not that big of a Joe fan.  I just really enjoyed the games and like Joe's personality...and the fact that he looks goddamn badass with his middle finger raised instead of a peace sign!
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#11  Edited By Xandurson

Well The Hurt Locker looked like an incredible movie when it came out but I never saw it. As for Brutal Legend and Bayonetta, Bayonetta looks like fun. Brutal Legend, not so much.