Anyone else who is completely boring? How do you deal with it?

@TheDudeOfGaming: @TooWalrus: @Tesla: @Video_Game_King: @astrotriforce: @crusader8463: @stryker1121: @Cyrus_Saren: @theoracleofgame: @stryker1121: @pyromagnestir: @thedj93: @Jrinswand: @Karkarov: @Osaladin: @Village_Guy: @ShaggE: @ervonymous: @AlexanderSheen:

I've read all your posts and there are some very insightful and positive things in there, and I will reply to certain posts, but I'd like to take this discussion into a more focused direction.

We're basically discussing two things:

• Why we are the way we are, how we behave and so forth, and also how we can change and what steps to take
• Whether something is wrong with us or not, whether change is needed or not

Now, the first bulletpoint is something I've seen discussed a million times, including here on the GB forums. I hate to sound like a downer but I don't think change is as possible as we hope for it to be. Not in the radical way that makes you a completely new person..

So I wanna focus on the second point: Do you think something is wrong with you for being like that? (Which consequently leads to the question "How do you deal with the fact that something is wrong with you?)

I know most of your answers will be something like "No" or "I like the way I am" or "It's not worth it to change for anyone" or "Just learn to be content with yourself" or "One day you will find people you will enjoy being with" but IMO truth of the matter is, that is all delusional crap (no offense).

I mean, I don't know the types of societies you live within, but they can't be much more different from mine. And in mine, if you're this passive and "boring", you're gonna be perceived as a downer by your family. Your father or mother will always look at you with a look that says "Why don't you just loosen up? Everything is fine." When you sit down with your cousins or neighbors, they're gonna be laughing and speaking loudly and discussing the latest game and calling each other names and pulling each other's chains while you're gonna stand out as a piece of furniture, which makes them disinterested in including you in the jokes, or calling you the next time they hang out. Same with friends.

If you're like this at work, your co-workers will be doing all that social shit, the entire song and dance, while gossiping about your boss, or kissing his ass to get the better assignments, while you're gonna be that robot that happens to work with them.

If your answer sincerely is "nothing is wrong with me" then you're basically telling me that you can live with the fact that you're considered a downer, a piece of furniture or a robot. I believe you're living in denial. I mean, news flash guys, no matter how confident you are or how much you respect yourself, people's respect and consideration for you are absent as long as you're not revving your social engine and making them take notice of you.

If you've chosen that you don't mind living on the margin like that, then I envy you. But for me, in a world where there's a family around you, acquaintances everywhere, co-workers you sit with and run into everyday, people in bars and restaurants and government offices that you continuously see, I just can't be that passive robot because that makes them completely disregard me and kind of push me out of whatever is going on. I can't live with that and that is exactly the question here: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?

I've been experimenting with ways to compensate for being an absolutely dead motherfucker, one of the things I do is notice how others react to certain things, how they approach conversations and so forth, and even trying to imitate them I seem to fail because the core deep down inside that makes you create new things to say, boast about your achievements, whip out your figurative dick in pride and be a MAN, is just not there.

Yes someday I might run into a few dudes who don't require that continuous social energy from me and just wanna hang out, talk about whatever, and so forth, but until then (and even then) I'm not frozen in a space shuttle waiting for that to happen. I am alive within a society and being this boring and lame is truly fucking damaging for a man's peace of mind.

So that's how I try to deal with it, I try to imitate what the average person says and does to try and blend in, but the essence is not there and therefore I fail. What methods do you have to try and integrate yourself in your community?

That replies just reeks of defining yourself through others. Living for their sake and not your own. I'll just leave this here and ready my Persona.

@Video_Game_King said:

That replies just reeks of defining yourself through others. Living for their sake and not your own. I'll just leave this here and ready my Persona.

That is EXACTLY my point: Why fight so hard to be your own man and refuse to define yourself through others when clearly it has no benefit other than making you feel that you have dignity? Is dignity so important that you're rather be a passive disregarded disrespected robot living on the margin?

For a long time I refused to be anything but me, I was proud of it, and where did it get me? If I'm not at work or preparing my university papers, I fucking live on these internet forums, unable to connect with the people around me because I disconnected myself so much.

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

In social situations, I trade being loud and obnoxious for being incredibly dry and sarcastic- it wasn't a conscious choice, I've just always been like that, and it works well enough for me. I'm an assistant manager at work, so I can't be all buddy-buddy with the people I supervise anyway, I've been told as much by my boss, so I need to take my job seriously because 'he's got a stack of applications a mile high'. When I graduate next year, I might move to a new town and get a fresh start- I don't really have any attachment to this place, because I moved around so much as a kid. Who knows, it's all been working out for me so far.

@AhmadMetallic: You guessed it right, my answer is no. There's nothing wrong with me. The problem is that there are no others like me and succeeding in finding weirdos like myself didn't happened so far either. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than living in a way which I despise.

@AhmadMetallic said:

Ok so now that I've got that out of the way, I gotta ask, does any of you have this problem where you're just.. completely dead and boring? You don't feel the need to accomplish anything, you don't seem to have any ambitions other than living well, you don't feel the need to show others that you're an opinionated strong man, you're indifferent towards most things in life that others get riled up about and discuss, when you sit down with friends you crack the occasional joke or talk about a few things but you mostly just sit there in your comfortable silence eating chips or smoking a cigarette?

This pretty much describes me perfectly. I like going out with friends but I rarely say much partly because I normally don't care what the conversation is but mainly because I'm really shy. Even if I act like a "robot" like you describe I usually have a great time, for example a couple of months ago I went out with friends to a bar and then went back to a friends' house and played drinking games pretty much all night. I probably didn't say more than a couple sentences but it was some of the most fun I've ever had.

I wish that I had people I could talk to about stuff I love like cars, obscure games and fishing but I'm way too shy and awkward to meet new people.

@AhmadMetallic: I can't really relate to your situation since in our culture you're pretty much expected to move away from home, live independently in your small rental apartment and go to about your mundane business without making eye contact on the streets the moment you're able to. I have warm relations with my immediate family - which seems to be a rarity -, but the only way we keep in touch with most of our relatives is by exchanging Christmas cards.

I almost never see friends outside of school or work and, while there's no reason for it to be that way, it's always been like that. I'm very social when given the chance but I don't seek those opportunities. I lived eight years in a rural area with no internet and the single person outside my family I wanted anything to do with lived kilometers away and the solitary life just stuck. I also got burned and humiliated in my first and last relationship so I prefer to steer clear from women, men and aliens alike.

I've always been honest with myself and my feelings and have no qualms with my decisions. I have no illusions of grandeur, I'm just a guy.

You're not boring, you're apathetic. I should know, I'm the exact same way, well, I was. I got out of it, and I'm a lot happier for it. Should you ever choose to do the same, follow these simple instructions. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, I'm just giving you the option, because life is all about opportunity:

• Watch some sad movies. I mean movies that actually make you sad, not crap like A Walk to Remember, unless that actually makes you sad.
• Eat some more meat. Seriously, it's good stuff.
• Think about the day you're going to die, or your death in general. Think about who you're leaving behind, how they'll remember you, what they'll think when you're gone.

After you've done all that, you should feel either right about life, or feel some deep down pit in your stomach/chest. If the latter is true, time to work on changing that apathy to caring. I'm not saying to go out and learn about health care, abortion, science, religion, etc. Learn about things that you care about, and find how they relate to all these supposed conversations that you don't think you can participate in.

If nothing else, just play devil's advocate when people start talking about social issues. It's a good mental workout, and people really get flustered when they have to justify how they think.

I think you are too evolved. You are over thinking. Please don't kill yourself. You just need to find a way to tap into your inner cave man. I say jump out of a plane. No seriously. Go sky-diving. And treat it like its is supposed to change you. A little brush with death. Make sure you pay up and get the video. Show it to people. Bam! Now you're at least a little interesting, and maybe you also have a little perspective. And side note, you've done something that is crazy fun. PPS You also have a meaningful experience with some close friends.

I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but you are doing it WRONG. YOU ARE GONNA DIE. So try and enjoy shit a little. Most people are not as intelligent as you are, and you need to EMBRACE that. They do not try to self actualize in the fashion you have here. They unknowingly embrace mediocrity, distracted by their self indulgent narcissistic outlook on life. But as a side effect of blindly following the herd, you become a productive member of society, or interesting/engaged as you put it. STEAL these people's energy. Live for them and then you can live like them. Making everything more simple. And then ultimately living for yourself and wanting more.

And sadly maybe you need to experience a little tragedy in your life to appreciate everything. It sounds like you've never invested in anything enough to really feel like shit when you lost it. aka GROWing UP..(which takes time)

Also, when you need to live on your own. Usually paying the mortgage and just trying not to kill someone if enough of a distraction to keep people going. It will be so different when you are done with school. Maybe then things will start to make more sense and you will like being an adult better. That shit happens to people.

Find something you care about and go get it. Know that you can't explain everything away and hide in a corner. You are a little bitch.

@AhmadMetallic: If you live near Washington DC, hit me up and Ill buy you a beer.

@Zomgfruitbunnies said:

Alcohol always helps.

You're just young, it takes time to develop a personality. I see all the folks at my university all dressing crazy, acting crazy trying desperately to stand out or seem interesting, but they're just masking the fact that they haven't had time to develop themselves. You try to strike up a conversation with these people and they have nothing notable to say.

I know it sounds cheesy but you kinda do need to "find yourself" and how you fit in the world around you, which I'm pretty sure is just a matter of living life and seeing where it goes.

It would be easier to be interesting if I actually gave a shit about anything that isn't reading/playing/watching other worlds, all of which are more fun then this one.

Well ok, almost all of them, some games makes me wish I was doing dishes instead.

I've come to terms with it, now I do shit I wouldn't have before.

The world needs all sorts man, I would say that a lot of people who are always talking and always out and yapping and are very boring in a different way. I would ask you a question - are you happy when you are on your own? Can you entertain yourself or does your own company bore you? If not then I would say you are probably OK.

Also are there some people who's views, jokes, conversation etc you find interesting? If so seek them out and get to know them better. I always think it is better to have a few close friends than just 'do' socialising which is what you seem to be describing.

I don't think I am boring, but I realise that I bore some people, or at least have nothing in common with them. I find it hard but as I get older I have been able to worry a little less about impressing others and more about looking for things and people which impress and entertain me.

@AhmadMetallic: Can I ask you something? Are you happy with your life right now?

@astrotriforce: I gotta say that was a really sad read. I know there are people being blown up to bits in Syria, people dying of starvation in Africa and so forth, and I know I can't even imagine the pain and suffering they live in, still, even if we're still blessed with health and safety, living such a hollow life as you do must be really painful dude...

I also can relate to your father issues. My dad is the most helpful and loving and experienced man I ever know, he takes care of everything and knows a lot about a lot, yet that's what he is, a working beer-drinking robot. He doesn't socialize with people much, he's too much of a perfectionist to stand the ups and downs and imperfections of social dynamics. And as much as I try to be a different man from him, I'm growing right into his silhouette....

@eskimo said:

Depression isn't necessarily feeling bad all the time, sometimes its an absence of feeling good.

Good point.

@TheHumanDove said:

Become that weird type of gal

Drop a bomb on it!

@Arabes said:

he is describing the feeling of not being a person on a tv show. One who does not lead an amazing, exciting life full of wonderment, one who is the center of attention all the time, one who, dare I say it, does not have a new heroic adventure every week.

Uh, no. I'm describing a person who, while sitting with others, says opinionated things about any random topic, cracks good jokes, can bond with those friends and go to that mental level where they feel closer and more of "homeboys" to one another than they do with people on the street. Someone who knows the names people mention in their gossip and fucking watched the game last night. Someone who, when girls walk by, goes into ladies-man mode and starts talking like a pig about her asshole from afar while giving her looks.

Someone who people don't "ignore" for being a passive chair arm, or even gossip about/rip on for not having the energy to run the social race of smiles and loud laughs and pranks and little moves and dances. That person is the majority of the population, not someone special or flashy.

Morrelloman describes that person perfectly:

@morrelloman said:

Most people are not as intelligent as you are, and you need to EMBRACE that. They do not try to self actualize in the fashion you have here. They unknowingly embrace mediocrity, distracted by their self indulgent narcissistic outlook on life. But as a side effect of blindly following the herd, you become a productive member of society, or interesting/engaged as you put it. STEAL these people's energy. Live for them and then you can live like them. Making everything more simple. And then ultimately living for yourself and wanting more.

^ That very simple very basic very selfish very HUNGRY person who becomes engaging and interesting to talk to or even to HATE because of his inner energy that makes him wanna go go go go.

@AlexanderSheen said:

When I meet someone I'm always open to talk about anything, do activities with them (like biliards or a little bit of drinking) and such, but after that it's all downhill for me.

That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I am in fact a fucking awesome person to meet for the first or even second time. The style, the jokes, the talk, it's all there. Then when you've sat with me for the third time, it all goes downhill from there.

Why? Because by the third or fourth get together, people begin expecting that little bit more of personality and speech from you, just as they know they are expected to deliver it. And while they do, and they begin going a little deeper with their communication, that's when I draw a blank because I in fact did not watch the news last night, I wasn't sitting outside with people talking about the latest events, I'm not in the loop because I am apathetic and don't feel interested. Hell even when they begin asking about what I wanna do, my only answer is my Uni major, I got nothing to add.

@LikeaSsur said:

• Watch some sad movies. I mean movies that actually make you sad, not crap like A Walk to Remember, unless that actually makes you sad.
• Eat some more meat. Seriously, it's good stuff.
• Think about the day you're going to die, or your death in general. Think about who you're leaving behind, how they'll remember you, what they'll think when you're gone.

• Why sad movies? I avoid sad movies and music because they dig a hole of depression that I've been climbing out of for a long time.
• Trying to watch my weight dude, I lost so much after being obese for so long! :P
• I do. I either think about the day I'm gonna expire, or think about the misfortunes others have that I never tasted. It kinda makes me get up and do shit, but it doesn't last.

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

Others' respect (which leads to their interest) > Self respect.

I've had a similar problem. I don't consider myself boring anymore, but back in high school I may as well have been non-existent as far as most people were concerned. I had a good small group of friends. I was friendly, kind, talked to people, but there was nothing noteworthy or memorable about me. Except for a few times when some rumors about relationships I was in would spread, the only thing a lot of people could say about me was that I was quiet and nice because I really didn't have much else going on. It even got to a point where some people thought I had moved and were surprised every time they saw me in the halls. Since I've graduated I've been working on being less like that, and its definitely not easy. I just started to channel some of my focus in life towards the hobbies that I enjoy. I've been really into tennis, photoshop, and gaming lately. I use those things to help define myself and I've met some really cool people with similar interests. I'm probably still boring to people who don't care about that stuff, but to anyone with even a slight curiosity I can be one hell of an interesting person now.

I also find it helps to just share whatever thoughts come to your mind if you're having trouble having a more deeper level of conversation with someone. Doesn't matter what that may be really. For me my minds pretty weird so that leads to some laughs.

@CaLe:

+1

@AhmadMetallic said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

Others' respect (which leads to their interest) > Self respect.

You'd rather an empty shell viewed by many than a full life none shall know?

Just go out and do shit that you wouldn't do otherwise. Alcohol also helps.

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

Others' respect (which leads to their interest) > Self respect.

You'd rather an empty shell viewed by many than a full life none shall know?

Here is another protip Ahmad. No one respects someone who doesn't respect themselves. Getting attention from someone who doesn't respect you is attention that isn't worth having. VKG is in the right on this one.

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

Others' respect (which leads to their interest) > Self respect.

You'd rather an empty shell viewed by many than a full life none shall know?

Here is another protip Ahmad. No one respects someone who doesn't respect themselves. Getting attention from someone who doesn't respect you is attention that isn't worth having. VKG is in the right on this one.

@astrotriforce: Why don't you just go ask the girl you like out? It seems like you guys have a lot in common. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Hey guys this probably sounds cliche but have you guys thought about volunteering?

Think about it. Volunteer to feed the homeless. No one cares about how you look, who you are. They just want your help and people will appreciate you for it. You might find friends a long the way and will actually be able to help people. Any other suggestions?

@Karkarov said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@AhmadMetallic said:

Dignity is not worth it when your life sucks and you're all alone.

I never said that your life had to suck by being alone; I merely question your argument of valuing life through those around you, rather than by your own ends. Does not that lack of self respect?

Others' respect (which leads to their interest) > Self respect.

You'd rather an empty shell viewed by many than a full life none shall know?

Here is another protip Ahmad. No one respects someone who doesn't respect themselves. Getting attention from someone who doesn't respect you is attention that isn't worth having. VKG is in the right on this one.

I couldn't agree more. But at the same time, respecting yourself doesn't always lead to being respected. So there are two kinds of self-respect, the one where you respect yourself but fail to be someone who gains respect because he lacks the personality and energy and qualities of someone who gets respect and attention, and the kind of self-respect where you simultaneously respect yourself AND manage to earn it from people around you as well.

So my point to VGK was, if you're the first kind, the one who respects himself yet is too apathetic/boring/isolated to get the respect and interest of others, then IMO your self-respect is useless. I'd rather lose that false dignity and try to become someone people call when they go out with, and live my fucking life, than carry the badge of self-respect and pride while I'm sitting at home sighing at my days passing one at a time.

@Jams said:

@AhmadMetallic: Can I ask you something? Are you happy with your life right now?

Yes and no. I'm happy with everything about myself, I work and will soon begin going to uni, i exercise and swim and keep a diet, I have an amazing hobby (gaming) which keeps me satisfied and entertained, I'm a good son and a good brother and a good person in general and have no animosity with anyone.

Yet at the end of the day I sit here staring at my phone and wishing I was out living my life. Knowing that whoever I call and wherever we go, and no matter how much I SINCERELY loosen up and enjoy myself and not overthink anything, I'll end up feel unfulfilled, feeling a disconnect, blacking everything out and thinking about random shit, not even noticing hot girls passing by.

So the answer really is no. I wish I was someone else who was drowning in this world and enjoying it, rather than siting on the edge and staring at it.

@AhmadMetallic said:

then IMO your self-respect is useless.

Useless to who?

I'd rather lose that false dignity

Why is it false?

@AhmadMetallic:

I thought I wanted to be more social. I was even in a band for a couple years and we even played shows about every weekend. We drank all night long and even played in front of a thousand people. My band mates were living the high life from what I could see. It was what they lived for. All the attention they'd get and all the fun they had. It was how they enjoyed life. But that's not how I enjoy life. I know that now.

I found myself completely bored and unfulfilled. Everyone's sitting around piddle-assing and having a bast and I can't seem to have fun. I would always just think about how much I want to be home. How much more fun I'd be having and how much more stuff I could be doing at home. Well it turns out I just straight up enjoy being home and or alone. Now that I've tried my hand at being a little socialite, I know that's not what I want to be. I'ts not me.

It kind of sounds like you've tried the same thing and figured out that's not what makes you happy either. Maybe now it's time to move on and try and find something else that makes you happy. The best way to live life is to find what makes you happy and do it. If you're doing something that you find you aren't enjoying then you probably never will. There's no reason to force yourself just because that's what other people are doing (that seem to be having a blast). You have to find your niche, whether that's sitting out in the middle of a forest for hours just taking it all in. Or playing a solo on stage with all the girls swooning over you. Find what you really enjoy in your heart and do that. Unless it's kidnapping little girls or fucking an abandoned couch, then don't do that.

One day I have realized that I actually like being alone.

@AhmadMetallic: I admittedly didn't read the entire thread, but from what I read of your posts in here I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.

Up through high school I was friends with a couple of people in every social circle. I went to birthday and other such parties(though less and less through the years and stopped at high school), but I never really formed deep bonds with any of the groups. My problem here was that while I was cool with a couple people, I didn't like the group as a whole so I opted to just move on. This just progressed as a large majority of people moved toward sports, drinking, and smoking as time passers and I didn't.

So now, I have a small group of friends(two of which have moved to North Carolina). One lives with me so I see him pretty much every day. One goes to the same college as me but we don't really see each other. I've been invited out with their other friends, I've been invited to parties, but I've declined pretty much every invitation. Is the problem with me? Maybe, I don't see the appeal of drinking. I don't see the appeal of smoking. I don't see the appeal sitting around talking about the attractiveness(or lackthereof) of whatever girl pops into our heads. And well, how am I supposed to meet new people if I don't meet new people? Good question. But all I can think about is who I do know that's going to be there and how much fun I won't have.

So yeah, like you, I would love to be doing more. The problem is that I don't have anyone I actually want to do more with. Good conversation seems to be difficult to come by, and it seems to get more difficult based on the number of people in the area familiar with each other. The number of people who can have a good time without getting trashed or being sex-fiends seems small, and it's kind of depressing. However, I still do enjoy what I do, so I'm ok with it. The world tends to have a way of being really convenient, so I believe that eventually I'll encounter the right people.

I've come to this conclusion: In order for you to bond with people, become friends, make them interested in you, make them respect you and desire your company, you have to have two things:

• The need to share your opinions in a loud imposing speaking voice in random conversations that shows that you're opinionated about whatever topic is at hand. You need to keep an instant image of being "confident" and opinionated and focused. You need to keep showing others that you're in the loop and that you are simply relevant.

• The need to accomplish things, have ambition, always have a goal set that you want to achieve, always racing to do things and go places. Showing the image that you are determined.

@AhmadMetallic I disagree with the first point, but the other point certainly helps in making people more interesting to talk to.

Also, I know some other people mentioned this but it seems you haven't found the right kind of people to befriend. The people you want to share your opinion with. The people who "get" you.

I can't really relate to this. But I get what you're saying.

Sounds like you're either pretty down in the dumps lately (which could be caused by like a trillion things) and thus have a sour outlook on life in general, or you don't like your friends very much.

As far as friends go, I classify a good friend as someone with whom you can be totally comfortable in baring all your interests and troubles to, and you should be able to expect a positive and constructive reaction to those things. A good friend to me is also someone who you think of as a genuinely fantastic and interesting person all by themselves, something kind of close to a role model. When I'm bored in someone else's company, I know it's probably because I'm spending a lot of time with someone that I don't actually see anything good in. If they were true friends, I think you'd be more than happy to get more involved in what's going on around you, because you'd be genuinely interested in what they had to say and what you could say to them.

I don't think trying to prove or change yourself for these kinds of people is very healthy either. I just try my best to be myself, and if they find that person boring, they're not gonna be a very good friend in any circumstance. All self-improvement should be driven by the need to fulfill yourself, and not the expectations of others. It's less about you trying to fit in to their image of what a friend should be, and instead if they fit yours. Take a step back and see if they're acceptable to you, not the other way around. You should be putting all your effort into finding the good in them as opposed to yourself, because once you find the thing that makes them a valuable friend to you, it'll be much much easier to be a valuable friend to them.

I played the socialite game for a while, I realized that it was a shallow lifestyle. If you're being yourself and you aren't getting along with a particular group of people or you don't find yourself motivated enough to call them up and hang out with them then maybe that is just natural, and not something to do with you psychologically. Forcing yourself to act out of character to fit in is American Psycho esque:

There are some things that are totally OK to be apathetic about.

Just become an asshole, it worked for me

It's very simple.I play video games or just read a book.

This sounds like textbook depression.

@Castermhief117: Well I left a lot of details out. Like the fact that she has a one-year-old and is still with the father, despite the extremely negative relationship she's always had with the guy who controls her. The type of person that "won't allow" her to do things. He basically feeds off her lack of self-esteem and makes her loner lifestyle that much worse IMHO. I'd be encouraging her to do as much as she could and socialize with others as much as possible to help her with her issues.

@AhmadMetallic: Even so I am content to a degree, and I have my whole life ahead of me so... the game's not over yet. It hasn't even begun in all honesty. We think we're so old, and I feel really old hitting 28 next month, but I know I'm in fact very young. A lot of people say that about their working fathers. My dad is the opposite, he did work a lot from time-to-time (always under-the-table construction jobs) but never had a career and somehow we were always poor. I grew up in a household where the electricity, hot water, and other utilities were often turned off. Where we always had to borrow toilet paper because we couldn't afford it ourselves. If it wasn't for our grandpa next door helping us out and food banks, I don't know how we would've survived. My dad is like a lazy robot. Doesn't seem to do ANYTHING. I don't know if that's worse than a work-aholic beer-drinking robot, suppose they're both the opposite of what any person should be and aspire-to-be.

@Jams: That's awesome advice man. My brothers are in a band, and I can't ever picture myself doing that. It's just not me. Not that I'd be against it. I have no desire to play an instrument though. Like you I am always constanting thinking about how much time I am "wasting" when I'm hanging out with others. I could be home playing a game or working on my website and doing something that, to me, seems "productive". A lot of times when people hang out in groups they literally do NOTHING, they just do it in a group. I don't think being social is necessarily the answer.

Did you guys know that "loneliness" is the main reason people get married? According to a study I read a few years back. It always ends in disaster, because loneliness is a state-of-mind and even being with someone will not cure it if you haven't cured it in your head. Wise words.

Btw your band story made me think of Brian "Head" Welch from Korn, a pure example of someone who lived the "high life" and was not fulfilled until he turned to Jesus and the Bible. If you haven't seen "I Am Second" with Head, watch it.

I think I'm boring because I'm so easily pleased and I don't like talking. I can't think of anything that doesn't interest me except the problems of other people. Also, I have no friends in real life, so it's pretty easy to do whatever I want. I think I'm one of the happiest people in the world.

Exercise will literally solve all of your problems, unless you have a huge physical barrier you can't get over. Then you can usually modify the workouts. Exercise, water, lots of sleep and eating healthy. I've never felt better.

You're not boring. Well, you're probably not boring, I don't know. Being interesting has nothing to do with having strong opinions on current issues, per se. Perhaps having an opinion, or being informed, can help but you don't need to be outspoken. I think the big problem is revealed by your tying "friends." Being interesting yourself is only half of the battle; the other half is finding people who interest you. You post here on a video games website, so find people who are interested in video games enough to have conversations about them.

On the other hand, maybe you just need to slow down. You didn't say how much you socialize, but it seems to me that you socialize fairly often. Cut back, maybe only go out with folks once a week. You'll find social contact more enjoyable when it's not too big a burden. I know how you feel when you say you feel like withdrawing. Sometimes, after a long day of school, the last thing I want is to run into someone I know on the train home. All of us have different levels of tolerance for any given activity.

Finally, do some activities alone. Go on a hike, go to a museum, a concert, try that new restaurant, or whatever, all by yourself. It's intimidating, I know, but independent activities have made me much happier. Don't worry about what other people might think of you for being alone.

Damn man, this thread is a depressing read. I don't think I could live without a constant flow of people to talk to and enjoy their company, I always have alot on my mind to talk about and I enjoy acting up and making a show of everything to a crowd of people, the buzz you get from a crowd of people laughing at something you've said or appreciating something you've done even people disagreeing with my point of view is what makes life. Every person is so different that it's always exciting to find out about them and see what makes them tick conversationally.

I just couldn't even imagine living without constant human interaction and social endeavours, I strive to be as interesting / amusing in a conversation as possible, after all, a man is as good as the friendships he cultivates.

I live everyday looking at what is to come. What is the next thing i have to look forward to. That ambition, that drive to continue forward for the sake of such things, keep me going. Finishing college, finding a wife, creating a family, living my life the way i see fit. That's what keeps me going. I admit, i'm not social in the slightest. I have my very small friend circle that i never leave, and i spend most of my time sitting at home alone. But i don't waste that time. I be productive and work towards my future, whether it be mentally, physically, or socially. Always look at what is to come, and what you will be able to experience.