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#1 Edited by AndreiGradinaru (29 posts) -

Before I start I want to say that I have been following the website for a few months, but I never got around posting until now (I found it when Ryan Davis died and now I am at episode 132 of the P4 endurance run). So I know it seems weird to be a first poster with this message, but I do intend to be sticking around (although I don't know how active).

I went to Xian this christmas and a chinese girl that I met on the internet showed me around for the days I was there.

Everything went ok and I did enjoy my time. However, in the last day there she asked me what do I think of the city, and my response was:

"I like the city. There's lots of beautiful temples, the food is good, and the people are nice. It's just too bad you are all communists".

That last sentence is where I fucked up. She then got a straight face and asked me "What's wrong with being a communist?" And I didn't know what to

say. I was quiet for a few seconds and then I said that I'm joking and changed the subject.

Everything seemd to be fine after that, but I can't help but feel that I offended her. Do you think I was maybe too insensitive about it in a way?

I'm still in contact with her and I don't know if I should apologise or let it be.

#2 Posted by MB (12387 posts) -

I just couldn't resist. Welcome to Giant Bomb!

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#3 Posted by AndreiGradinaru (29 posts) -

@mb: Thx man, I'm glad you seem to have a professional advice line :D

#4 Edited by wjb (1662 posts) -

Probably? If you were poking fun, that's one thing, but if you were sincere, of course she isn't going to appreciate it.

If she still is warm, friendly, and caring, I probably wouldn't bring it up because you could possibly be making more out of something than what's actually there. But if you can find a way to bring it up without being so dramatic, it wouldn't hurt.

If you are certain her opinion of you has changed a little, definitely apologize.

#5 Posted by XChairmanDrekX (284 posts) -

What a stupid thing to say at the worst possible time.

#6 Posted by Veektarius (4823 posts) -

Yes, you should apologize. Say something about the way you were socialized in school. That's what the Chinese believe about us anyway.

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#7 Posted by Spoonman671 (4633 posts) -

I wouldn't worry about it.

#8 Posted by TheHT (11241 posts) -

What a stupid thing to say at the worst possible time.

Funny though.

#9 Edited by Sooty (8082 posts) -

It was a somewhat dumb thing to say because Chinese media is very controlled, couple that with the Internet censorship it's hard to know how much exposure (and acceptance) some Chinese have to the rest of the world.

Do you even have much grasp on what communism is like there? I don't think many people actually do and think communism is a bad thing just because of the Cold War.

#10 Edited by DeadpanCakes (892 posts) -

If you think you should apologize, then that probably means you should.

I dunno, it sounds insensitive to me and it sounds like she didn't appreciate what you said, but I wasn't there.

When you apologize, it's not just for the person you're apologizing to, it's a way of letting both yourself and the other person know that you've put in effort to learning a lesson and mending a mistake. So if you're only apologizing 'cause you think she expects you to, that may do more harm than good.

Then again, it's hard to say 'cause I wasn't there, and know neither you, nor her. The person most fit to decide whether or not to apologize is you, considering you were there, and actually said it. So trust yourself I guess. If you still can't figure it out, then try talking to her about it. She's probably the only other person in this situation that should have a say in whether or not you should apologize. If she's still talking to you though, and hasn't brought it up, I wouldn't think too much about it. If you opt not to apologize, just keep in mind not to say something like that again, maybe.

Anyway, welcome to the site. Hope it all works out!

#11 Posted by GreggD (4505 posts) -

Let it go, unless she brings it up again. DO NOT press the issue, because she may have completely forgotten and/or let it go herself. If you bring it up and she didn't think it was a big deal, you may just fan the flames on what was a mere ember at that moment.

#12 Posted by liquiddragon (240 posts) -

@andreigradinaru: dude i'm chinese and that's pretty funny. I think you should've been quicker to respond that you were joking.

#13 Edited by TheVeteran13 (1209 posts) -

Apologize and send her one of these

I'm hilarious
#14 Posted by Dalai (7028 posts) -

Fly back to China, meet her somewhere, touch her shoulder, fake your own death.

#15 Posted by Kaiserreich (699 posts) -

What an odd thing to say.

#16 Posted by jimmyfenix (3854 posts) -

What a first post! Welcome Aboard you knuckle head!

#17 Edited by LibrorumProhibitorum (347 posts) -

She's Chinese right? She doesn't care.

#18 Posted by Spoonman671 (4633 posts) -
#19 Posted by FLStyle (4693 posts) -
#20 Posted by mlarrabee (2951 posts) -

@andreigradinaru: Do you know much about the Chinese social and state structure? If not, apologize and say that you shouldn't have made a disparaging comment about something you don't fully understand and haven't experienced.

That's an honesty most people don't admit about other nations.

#21 Edited by Abendlaender (2803 posts) -

That's a pretty stupid thing to say....however it depends on her personality. If somebody I barley knew walked up to me and said "Wow, Vienna is a nice town. Too bad you are all former Nazis" I'd probably stop talking to that guy/girl.

#22 Posted by mina_mina752 (121 posts) -

same happened to me...a very close vietnamese friend blocked me just becoz i made fun of uncle ho the guy on the "dongs" vietnamese money xD

i fixed it later by calling her on mobile phone which costed me a fortune!

i learned later that they don't like anyone to mess with their history.

1 more thing just becoz u.s oppose communism it does not mean they are "bad guys" look at china their economy is about to exceed the u.s

#23 Posted by soulcake (281 posts) -

I went to London for the holidays and i can assure you that the Chinese are the most capitalistic of them all. I guess that Chinese communist party money has to go somewhere.

#24 Edited by Ley_Lines (252 posts) -

I could tell you a lot of criticisms about the chinese government and it's unique brand of communism and the implications of the Mao era institution of the politics. But, I assume you just know Capitalism = good and Communism = bad so you definitely put your foot in your mouth especially with a girl I doubt you wanted to have a political debate with. I wouldn't bring it up again unless she does (especially given the fact you said you were joking which if you admit was a lie means you're a liar and a jerk) and if she does, apologize if you feel you need to and seem open to learning more about her culture and homeland. I mean, the chinese have a lot of problems but so does the United States. These problems are in no way equal but they are both extremely problematic in different ways.

#25 Posted by Humanity (9220 posts) -

Awkward happening in China might be the most apt description of a thread that I've had the pleasure of reading

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#26 Posted by erhard (403 posts) -

She sounds humorless to me. China has been a market economy for a pretty long time now, by the way.

#27 Edited by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

muh freedom

#28 Edited by weegieanawrench (1939 posts) -

We're starting off 2014 with some quality threads, guys.

I wouldn't worry too much about what you said. If you two are still in contact, it probably didn't offend her that much.

Welcome to Giant Bomb, duder.

#29 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (3364 posts) -

Wow...

#30 Posted by Itwongo (1198 posts) -

Huh.

#31 Edited by Tajasaurus (862 posts) -

2015's 2014 Giant Bomb Thread of the Year

#32 Edited by Aetheldod (3579 posts) -

I would apologize and explain that the west still has trouble with china being "communist" and try to ask her questions about the life there and then reasses your statement.

#33 Posted by LiquidS (971 posts) -

I went to Seattle this christmas and a chinese girl that I met on the internet showed me around for the days I was there.

Everything went ok and I did enjoy my time. However, in the last day there she asked me what do I think of the city, and my response was:

"I like the city. There's lots of beautiful Starbucks, the food is good, and the people are nice. It's just too bad you are all Americans".

That last sentence is where I fucked up. She then got a straight face and asked me "What's wrong with being an American?" And I didn't know what to

say. I was quiet for a few seconds and then I said that I'm joking and changed the subject.

Everything seemd to be fine after that, but I can't help but feel that I offended her. Do you think I was maybe too insensitive about it in a way?

I'm still in contact with her and I don't know if I should apologise or let it be.

#34 Edited by tourgen (4496 posts) -

Did you answer her question? What was your answer? Do you even know what communism is?

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#35 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1972 posts) -

Yeah people generally don't like it when someone makes fun of their culture, unless it's obvious they're joking around.

#36 Posted by development (2315 posts) -

If she doesn't know the practical flaws of communism, then you're better off walking away, anyway. People have different interpretations and different practices of implementing communism all over the world, but for a person in China to not see the flaws would mean she's already likely been deluded into thinking it's the one and only way to run a country. Walk away from that mess.

#37 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

If she doesn't know the practical flaws of communism, then you're better off walking away, anyway. People have different interpretations and different practices of implementing communism all over the world, but for a person in China to not see the flaws would mean she's already likely been deluded into thinking it's the one and only way to run a country. Walk away from that mess.

is this real life?

#38 Edited by valeo (56 posts) -

I like how people talk like there aren't any flaws to 'Democracy' either. There is no perfect system.

#39 Posted by MarkWahlberg (4604 posts) -

Do... do people still hate communists? Is that still a thing?

#40 Posted by Korolev (1706 posts) -

Hah. You think they're communists.

Yeah, because communists wear Nike shoes, have McDonalds, Stock-markets, For-Profit Banks, Starbucks and have a bazillion private businesses.

Communist in name ONLY pal. Authoritarian, to be sure, but communist? Yeah, the Chinese gave up communism in the late 80s. They're authoritarian capitalists - sort of like Pinoche or Batista.

#41 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3834 posts) -

The only thing you did wrong was trusting a red at all in the first place.

#42 Posted by Brundage (376 posts) -

Fucking magnets how do they work?

#43 Posted by RonGalaxy (3166 posts) -

Better Dead Than Red.

#44 Posted by semaphore (5 posts) -

They censor and throw people in cages for talk like that, of course she suddenly got alarmed.

#45 Edited by Danteveli (1184 posts) -

@andreigradinaru:

Are you from ex Soviet Union STate? (asking because of the Andrei in the nick). If so explain to her how Communism was hell and so on.

I don't know the girl but I live in China so I have met few Chinese people. Saying that they all are communists is bad because 90% won't identify with it. If she really is there is nothing wrong you just need to explain that the western experience with this ideology went pretty bad.

#46 Posted by bybeach (4826 posts) -

Ripping one off with a statement like that, all you did was come off arrogant.

#47 Posted by PillClinton (3291 posts) -

@andreigradinaru:

Are you from ex Soviet Union STate? (asking because of the Andrei in the nick). If so explain to her how Communism was hell and so on.

I don't know the girl but I live in China so I have met few Chinese people. Saying that they all are communists is bad because 90% won't identify with it. If she really is there is nothing wrong you just need to explain that the western experience with this ideology went pretty bad.

I'd say the human experience with this ideology went pretty bad.

#48 Edited by Hunter5024 (5671 posts) -

Your country is pretty cool except for all the commie scum.

#49 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (6190 posts) -

This wins my award for favorite first post. Terrific stuff.

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