Failed relation: How soon should one start dating again?

Last October I ended a 4 years+ relation and I was wandering just how long do you guys/girls usually wait before dating again?

I think that a good 6 month is long enough but I have friends and family that can't stay alone so they date right away and others that say «it's important to rediscover yourself before dating again».

I rediscovered myself and decided I don't want to date at all at this moment and in the near future. So really depends on you and the people around you really, not like there's some unspoken rule to it.

I'd say right away. When my longtime girlfriend broke up with me, I spent a month in my bedroom feeling sorry for myself. And guess what? It didn't help. I hit a fucking wall. If you ever seen the movie 500 Days of Summer, it was like that, just ten times worse. I got really depressed.

When my friends finally got me to pull myself together, I met a girl after a couple of months, and now we've been together for two months. It's been the best time of my life. Just fucking go for it.

@TooWalrus said:

That is an amazing update to the GBXGAL banner.

For the OP, just get right back in there man, the more you wait the more awkward it is.

Depends on how much baggage you have to deal with and whether or not you were the problem in the last one.

The only advice I can give is that you should wait four months minimum before you consider dating Lilly.

@TooWalrus said:

I am in love with this pic! <3

Anyways, I had a similar situation that you are going through. I ended a 3+ year relationship because we just ended up arguing 99% of the time. Being my first relationship as well, it was difficult for me to learn that I should move on. It took well over a year, but I managed. Let me say this, the time you had with her/him will always be great in your time. That is in the past as it should remain. Date whenever you feel that you are ready to date again. Here is a huge hint, not every girl/boy will act the same way your ex did. Give them a chance and if it works then go with it. If it doesn't, just try again with somebody else. That is why I am in another relationship with a girl that is simply fantastic to say the least.

There's no magic number of days/weeks/months, just live your life the way that feels right for you. Two pieces of advice: Don't let your loneliness push you into a shallow relationship. Don't let your pain prevent you from pursuing someone that you think is worth it.

@Legion_ said:

I'd say right away. When my longtime girlfriend broke up with me, I spent a month in my bedroom feeling sorry for myself. And guess what? It didn't help. I hit a fucking wall. If you ever seen the movie 500 Days of Summer, it was like that, just ten times worse. I got really depressed.

Same here, just replace one month with around 5. Not that I never left my bedroom, but I still felt like shit.

Go for broke - date now. Life's too short to give a fuck.

@TooWalrus: That's absolutely fantastic.

It's totally cliche but you should take time for yourself, you shouldn't rely on others for happiness.

Besides why fall victim to the "rebound relationship" when it only confuses yourself and possibly hurts others.

You may find you end up with someone for all the wrong reasons.

As far as time you need I guess it's different for everyone, when you feel the time is right.

whatever feels right, if you want to than do it but don't if you feel like you're forcing it.

@SmilingPig said:

Last October I ended a 4 years+ relation and I was wandering just how long do you guys/girls usually wait before dating again?

I think that a good 6 month is long enough but I have friends and family that can't stay alone so they date right away and others that say «it's important to rediscover yourself before dating again».

Whatever feels right to you is the right amount of time. There's no protocol or anything. When you're ready, you know. Don't avoid it because you're scared and don't force yourself into it because you think you need to. That's all.

Oh, and for the trifecta:

@SmilingPig said:

Last October I ended a 4 years+ relation

That makes you more qualified to answer your own question than 90% of us hunched over our keyboards arguing on Patrick articles, waiting for the next endurance run and pre-loading video games on Steam..

I had just ended a 3+ year realtionship last summer. Easily the most difficult thing I had ever done, but it had to happen because we were fighting so much and I wasn't happy anymore. That was over six months ago and I figured that this time alone is an oppertunity to start taking care of myself. I currently will not pursue a relationship on my own for quite a while, but if something happens then I'll roll with it.

I love these pics.

That is all.

hey man i wouldnt worry about the females. focus on yourself man girls are a waste of time and only good for gettn head n shit.

It's been 3 years since my last relationship ended and I barely even know where to start now, so don't wait too long.

I say get over sulking around asap, and, if you already have, go get some asap. I remember getting out of a five-year relationship, I just sat around all day feeling like shit and doing nothing. Now that I'm out of it, I realized how rusty I am with dating (basically I have become a big pussy), and it's not fun at all.

How should I know! I've never dated! LOL.

@Video_Game_King said:

The only advice I can give is that you should wait four months minimum before you consider dating Lilly.

You can go for Emi right off the bat, though. For someone with no legs, she really gets around.

Random hook ups are the best option at this point

Soon as you're ready duder. If you're uncomfortable dating again then it's probably too soon for you. After all, it's kind of a downer to date someone being sulky and vice versa. So as soon as you feel like dating do it. Breaking up hurts but eventually you should find balance again and be ready to keep looking.

And cheat on Liara?! You monster!

Who needs a woman when you've got Scarlett JoHANDson?

8 years.

@themangalist said:

I rediscovered myself and decided I don't want to date at all at this moment and in the near future. So really depends on you and the people around you really, not like there's some unspoken rule to it.

This. Tap into your feelings and decide for yourself. There is no rule.

Can't put a number to it duder. You just have to do what works out best for you. It's important you don't get used to being depressed to the point you get comfortable with it or push anyone else away. On the flip side, you wanna avoid going bananas and feeling like you have to get back into something right away cause you may make some big mistakes.

@SmilingPig: as soon as possible to move on.

@Vrikk said:

I love these pics.

That is all.

You should concentrate on your career and accumulate wealth. Fuck dating. Money is always more important.

Start whenever you want or don't at all if you aren't quite interested in another relationship yet. If you want to get back into the dating scene, however, sooner is better than later. The longer you wait the rustier you get.

@pakalolobro420 said:

hey man i wouldnt worry about the females. focus on yourself man girls are a waste of time and only good for gettn head n shit.

As derisive and Dudebro worthy as this response is it's also very correct,

Forget "relationships" just find a female friend or two that you can have some fun with and just live your life