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#1 Edited by ItBeStefYo (1096 posts) -

...What would you say?

This is a scary theoretical situation that I have lost sleep over and I can't really come up with a good answer. And the guy asking it would be pretty disgruntled so the old "But I have a wife and kids!" would never work.

And I have a feeling this wouldn't work either...

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#2 Posted by handlas (3116 posts) -

I would say..."Bring it!"

Sounds like a good time to me.

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#3 Posted by Enigma777 (6279 posts) -

Do it. Pull the trigger. Come on bitch! Shoot me! KILL ME!

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#4 Posted by Morningstar (2360 posts) -

What a morbid topic.

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#5 Posted by Animasta (14848 posts) -

uh, I'd ask them why they wanted to kill me in the first place?

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#6 Posted by TheHumanDove (2520 posts) -

If I die, I'm fucking haunting you.

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#7 Posted by Heltom92 (797 posts) -

Man this is pretty dark (I'm talking about the thread, although I suppose it would kind of work as a response to your question as well).

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#8 Posted by Brodehouse (10827 posts) -

I never tasted cantaloupe!

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#9 Posted by BraveToaster (12636 posts) -

I'm not going to entertain my would be killer with a response to that.

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#10 Posted by Hailinel (25787 posts) -

*Yodels*

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#11 Posted by TooWalrus (13380 posts) -

"Today is a good day to die!"

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#12 Posted by Coafi (1520 posts) -

I would fake a stroke.

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#13 Posted by ItBeStefYo (1096 posts) -

@BraveToaster said:

I'm not going to entertain my would be killer with a response to that.

Are you saying that I'm going to kill you?

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#14 Posted by Donkeycow (568 posts) -

If someone wanted to kill me for no apparent reason i don't think there is anything i could say that could save my life. So i wouldn't give my would be killer the satisfaction of begging for my life.

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#15 Posted by BraveToaster (12636 posts) -

@ItBeStefYo said:

@BraveToaster said:

I'm not going to entertain my would be killer with a response to that.

Are you saying that I'm going to kill you?

I'm saying that anyone who asks me that before they kill me isn't going to get a response.

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#16 Posted by Ututu222 (109 posts) -

Tell my wife "hello".

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#17 Posted by BaneFireLord (3145 posts) -

I'll blow you.

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#18 Posted by Scooper (7920 posts) -
Loading Video...
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#19 Posted by ervonymous (1299 posts) -

Probably nothing, I'd feel so far removed from the situation if it came out of nowhere.

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#20 Posted by Loafsmooch (542 posts) -

Dude I was just gonna ask you if you wanted to light one up with me :|

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#21 Posted by Demoskinos (17263 posts) -

It you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

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#22 Posted by Sargus (767 posts) -

I'd give them Xander's yellow crayon speech from Buffy.

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#23 Posted by Fat_Magnum (70 posts) -

Wait! You, I've seen you before. You're the one from my dreams...

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#24 Posted by CaLe (4749 posts) -

Who will feed my puppy back home?

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#25 Posted by SmilingPig (1370 posts) -

@Brodehouse said:

I never tasted cantaloupe!

Yep, we have a winner.

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#26 Posted by PenguinDust (12975 posts) -

"You'll never find the treasure without me."

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#27 Posted by floydeo (327 posts) -

@Brodehouse said:

I never tasted cantaloupe!

Honeydew's the money melon.

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#28 Posted by Hunter5024 (6670 posts) -

If you're at the point where you are begging them for your life, you might as well just bum rush them and see what happens. If my chances for survival were that slim I would rather go down trying to save my own life than pleading with them to let me keep it.

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#29 Posted by Rainbowkisses (519 posts) -

"I'm pregnant." The fact that I'm a man probably wouldn't help my case though.

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#30 Posted by That1BlackGuy (219 posts) -

I agree with Hunter, fuck that if I ain't about to go down doing something, anything and straight up dying even after begging I got to much pride for that lol.

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#31 Posted by Jaytow (790 posts) -

Cus yo momma got saggy tits.

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#32 Posted by takayamasama (1007 posts) -

I would say "if you kill me, you become me"

That should scare anyone off from wanting to kill me.

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#33 Posted by TheVeteran13 (1376 posts) -

"YOLO MOTHERFUCKER"

That will also be on my tombstone

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#34 Posted by Ares42 (3390 posts) -

"I'm not worth it"

Going straight for the "is it worth the risk?" is too complicated. Just saying you're not worth it would hopefully make them stop and ask you what the fuck you're talking about, then explain that killing you is not worth whatever legal reprecussions there might be and that they can get whatever they want from you without killing you. This does entail completely surrendering yourself to the other person though, but if you value your life over anything else that's what it takes.

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#35 Posted by Stonyman65 (3482 posts) -

I'd like to think that I would kill them first so this type of situation would never happen to me, but I guess I would just haunt their ass after death. That's the best I got.

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#36 Posted by Soapy86 (2723 posts) -

"If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

Not really.

"You shouldn't kill me because if you'll do you'll go to prison." would probably be my real answer. If that doesn't work, then I'm screwed because I have no good reason why someone shouldn't kill me.

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#37 Posted by Baal_Sagoth (1507 posts) -

Provided I don't lose my shit and am so stunned, scared or simply surprised that I can't properly react at all in the first place - take that piece of shit out as quickly and thoroughly as I can. Punch to the throat, kick to the balls, stab the eyes or use a solid weapon if one is available.

That would be a realistic reaction. As for the abstract question: of course there's no real, grand reason why one shouldn't kill anyone that one is capable of taking out in the first place.

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#38 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (4090 posts) -
@Brodehouse

I never tasted cantaloupe!

Ah you're not missin much. Now honeydew, that's the money melon.
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#39 Edited by GJSmitty (685 posts) -

I would start talking in Parseltongue.

Then they'll be so surprised that I'll be able to run for it.

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#40 Posted by aznjon12 (201 posts) -

You hug your mother with those murderous hands?

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#41 Edited by AlexanderSheen (5150 posts) -

Your clothes gonna get bloody.

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#42 Posted by MikkaQ (10296 posts) -

I'd grit my teeth and say something like "If you let me live I'll CONSIDER not coming back to haunt you and and all your descendants for all time."

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#43 Posted by SomeDeliCook (2353 posts) -

Wait a minute, is that youtube clip in the OP a sequel to Don't be a Menace? Are you shitting me?

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#44 Posted by matti00 (677 posts) -

@ItBeStefYo said:

And the guy asking it would be pretty disgruntled so the old "But I have a wife and kids!" would never work.

Dammit, my first go to was "I'm about to be a father!"

I'll probably run full kilt at the guy and try and tackle him. I've got pretty good core strength and I'd feel more comfortable trying to wrestle him than trying to reason with him.

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#45 Posted by IceColdGamer (697 posts) -

I'd likely try and use their moment of hesitation to kill them.

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#46 Posted by Socialone (212 posts) -

''Because if the roles were reversed, I know I wouldn't kill you.''

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#47 Posted by SuperMeatToy (36 posts) -

"If I die I'll explode into a shitload of paperwork"

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#48 Posted by Dick_Mohawk (398 posts) -

I would say nothing. Just give them the finger and the 'kissy' face.

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#49 Posted by ItBeStefYo (1096 posts) -

@SomeDeliCook said:

Wait a minute, is that youtube clip in the OP a sequel to Don't be a Menace? Are you shitting me?

Don't be a menace was a parody of Menace 2 Society was it not?

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#50 Posted by wewantsthering (1651 posts) -

Tell them I was live streaming everything that was happening. Everyone on the internet would see the guy killing me. Tell them I have a camera in my glasses. Maybe it would buy me just enough time for an opportunity to open for escape. Haha.