I don't know how to say this because I rarely have any feelings towards the dead. My uncle died recently and of course now there is a funeral. I don't feel anything about his death, I myself laugh at the topic tbh, not sure why. However most of my life, when I was growing up, I notice that all my relatives ignores me. When they are not ignoring me, they are taking cheap shots, sort of like indirectly talking behind your back, however they do that to your face, you know, like snipers. The problem years ago, after being treated like shit by them, they treat everyone like shit. I don't know why, but there is a real bitterness in their family, all my aunts and uncles related to my dads side are not really nice ppl. They are like demonic, none of them has any sort of religion, although that doesn't really matter. The few uncles and aunts that are not blood related seems to be religious. Let's just say, besides my own disfunctional family, this family is worst. I don't know if they were being ignored by my grandfather or maybe he ran off for a while with someone else because half my aunts and uncles are like from another mother.
My point is i'm tired of them, ever had relatives you just hate visiting because you have no choice? Think of that, yet 100X worst. They respect my brother, he is a social guy, has friends, perfect social skills, a girlfriend, a life, everything anyone could want. He was a ganster, i'm sure if anyone disrespected him, he could have them killed, even though he's legit now, quitting that stuff and really doing well for himself. I was always treated as the outcast. One time I was so ticked off by them, I argued back trying to tell them to get lost, then my aunt said some really mean shit. I decided I never want to see them again, I never been so insulted. I never went back to my family reunion for like so many years now. I never want to see them again, however my uncle is dead and everyone is going to be there. My dad usually has to bribe me to go there, he gives me a ton of cash because he knows i'm not rich. He actually bought me my i7 cpu, that's like $345, I didn't pay for it at all. However that's chump change. No amount of money will make me go back to a funeral.
What i'm asking you is, am I doing the right thing? It's not about money, it's about sending a message...everything burns. I just can't see them again, I just want to know if i'm doing the right things. Just help me to weight my options and help me rethink this. On one hand, forever the relatives will know I won't put up with their shit anymore, even if they are cremated and dead. This might not hurt these demons because they probally don't have a heart, however they might feel disrespect even for a second, to me that's worth it for all the years of insults and being treated like shit. I mean these ppl sure have some nerve. My uncle who died, there seems to be some really intellegent ppl in my family and some really dumb. He thought he outsmarted everyone, he made it to the top position for his bank. However he had hepetitis born from his mother, or my grand mother. He thought he outsmarted the world, however he can't cheat death. Am I doing the right thing if your relatives are the worst douche bags on the face of the planet? I just don't understand the concept of family.
I won't regret missing this funeral, however I think I might seriously hurt my grandmother and grandfather who has treated me extremely nice, even if they seem to treat their own family like shit. Honestly they are probally the only ones in the world who actually showed any sort of care. Damn, I really don't know, weighing my options, I don't care, yet I will hurt my grandparents the most. Help me out here, I have to make a decision by tommorrow. Under these circumstances, is what i'm doing okay? I just need some advice. I honestly would spit on his grave if I could have the opportunity. Or maybe I should go to the funeral, smile all day, dance, spit on his grave and sing alleluia. I was thinking about just going for a few minutes then going home, maybe bring a portable dvd player and watch it during the funeral with headphones. Maybe I can cause more damage being there than not being there.
i7 $450 with tax, funeral, probally a few thousand dollars, a whole pc $1300 without a gpu. Skipping your uncle's funeral to send a msg to my other relatives to know you mean business and you won't take their crap, priceless.
I'm thinking about skipping my uncle's funeral tommorrow
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