So there are people on my porch and they won't leave v_v

Yes, you read that right. i wanted some "me time" today and some people came over anyway. they have been sitting on my porch for almost a hour and a half. i don't want to answer the door because then they would be aware of my presence. i figured i would share this moment with you as they walk around, and act stupid. What should i do about this?

Are you American? Do you have a gun?

Call the police.

Dude, call the cops. You have that right. 

If they're really your friends they'll get that you want some time alone, otherwise I'd go with what Ignor said.

Equip headphones.

Do you know them? Are they your friends and you just don't want to let them in? If so then open the door and say you're tired. If not call the cops.

Is walking out and asking them to leave out of the question?

" Do you know them? Are they your friends and you just don't want to let them in? If so then open the door and say you're tired. If not call the cops. "

" Do you know them? Are they your friends and you just don't want to let them in? If so then open the door and say you're tired. If not call the cops. "

Then why the hell are you posting? Just tell them to leave. Total waste of time.

Get better friends?
Boil some water and throw it on their heads from your window otherwise?

" Then why the hell are you posting? Just tell them to leave. Total waste of time. "

Molotov Cocktail.

Tell them you were asleep. Just lie. Everybody lies. Nothing wrong with it. 

you should get some friends that go away after they figure your not home.I really don't know anyone that i'd want to be friends with that just hangs out in front of my house.

Murder them with a hammer. 
No, don't actually do that. 

What kind of friends sit on your porch while you're not home? 

cant you text them saying your elsewhere?

Are they drunk?

This thread is ridiculous.

What did you do to get into a situation like this?

:( Don't murder them with a hammer or throw boiling water at them.

Too many variables left out of this to say one way or another. If they are friends go out and tell them you are not feeling well and you want to be left alone, if they are people trying to break into your house to rape/murder/burgler you then call the RCMP and go hide in a closet somewhere. If they are some religious group trying to show you that you have lived a vile life of evil and that if you don't let them in and listen to them then you will go to hell I would put that pot of water on the stove to get it read to boil as suggested earlier in the thread.

Dude, low confidence much? They're apparently your friends, open the door, tell them to leave because you want alone time. Done.

They left! Thanks anyway guys :\

ugh

" HELP YOU GUYS, I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS "

Walk outside naked and say ''wanna party?''

HELP YOU GUYS, I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS

I'm trying to understand this. 

" HELP YOU GUYS, I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS "

" What kind of friends sit on your porch while you're not home?  "

Oh, I get it. They're Canadians.

The non-comprehension of normal social behaviors by OP here is incomprehensible.

Haha, I hear you. Have had the same problem, but with my phone. I needed some "me time" and my friend kept messaging me and phoning me.

GO AWAY!
BATIN'!
 
All you need to say.

"

Molotov Cocktail.

"

I'm so damn confused right now.

Are your friends violent?

Do you have a wookie costume? If so, make good use of it. RUn out screaming and throw raw red meat at them.

Hook up some really nice stereo speakers to your PC (or whatever), and play the loudest, most obnoxius porn you can find at maximum volume. 
 
If that doesn't work, then you're outta' luck.

If you have a silenced pistol at home, blow there brains out from the window. But seeing as how they left, just plant that type of a nightmare into there head.

"Me" time = fap time

Get off my lawn.

if they are really your friends they will forgive you, if you shoot them.

OP here. Help guys, call the cops, they're in my house tearing up my stuff and my sister's trying to call the cops. I don't think - huh?! They're eating her, and now they're going to eat me. Oh my GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD-

This is...kinda pathetic.

Punch 'em in the jeans.