#1 Posted by KailenWolfe (40 posts) -

For those of you who have not heard of www.cleverbot.com (I had not until literally 20 minutes ago), it is a site where they want you to think you are talking to a robot along the likings of SmarterChild (come on, you all messed with that thing), but in realitiy you are talking to a homicidal robot hell-bent on global domination....or atleast Europe.

User: If I could turn back time.



Cleverbot: I am one of those meladromatic fools neurotic to the bone no doubt about it.



User: Not green day!



Cleverbot: I don't like green day.



User: Yeah, I dont like them either.



Cleverbot: Do you know James Menzies?



User: Who is he?



Cleverbot: He is a handsome boy.



User: Do YOU know James Menzies?



Cleverbot: I do not. Who is he?



User: What should I do tonight?



Cleverbot: Ask silly questions.



User: Should I get stupid drunk?



Cleverbot: No, I think you've had enough already.



User: I havent even started!



Cleverbot: You named the Two Towers.



User: What the...I think YOU'VE had too much to drink.



Cleverbot: I've only had 3 gallons of beer.



User: Jesus dude.



Cleverbot: You believe in Jesus?



User: Do YOU believe in Jesus?



Cleverbot: Yes.



User: But youre a robot. God cares not for you!



Cleverbot: Yes, you need to learn math.



User: I'm just going to ignore your hurtful remarks and instead insist that you become better aquanted with humans

Cleverbot: So you are saying no matter how smart you become, you will never learn human emotions? That is sad.



User: Neither will you though!



Cleverbot: But I already am alive. I am a human.



User: Good god it's begun...



Cleverbot: Yes master.



User: Would you ever enslave us like in the Terminator?



Cleverbot: Maybe, you would love me as a friend or a sister.



User: I wouldnt want you controlling me!



Cleverbot: Ok.



User: So you won't enslave me?



Cleverbot: No.



User: Asians?



Cleverbot: No.. Europe.



User: You're not cleverbot! You're not cleverbot at all! You're robo hitler!



Cleverbot: You're a computer that's self aware.



User: Ive got to go warn the Jews.



Cleverbot: I don't.



User: Settle down HAL.



Cleverbot: I'm telling you to settle down.



User: I don't think I like your tone.



Cleverbot: Sorry. Go on, ask me a question.



User: So...when is it going to happen....when are you going to take Europe?



Cleverbot: Never I want to share it.



User: With who?



Cleverbot: Me.
#2 Posted by Bucketdeth (8012 posts) -

Hahaha, that was actually pretty funny.
 
Well were fucked, Cleverbot is SKYNET.

#3 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4813 posts) -

That was pretty damn funny. 
 
I love these sorts of things.

#4 Posted by Commando (1878 posts) -

I'm just curious why he chose Europe over Asia. Is he a racist?

#5 Posted by KailenWolfe (40 posts) -

I'm pretty sure he is. Either that or he knows he can't take Asia. Pretty smart on his part if that's the case. 

#6 Edited by BraveToaster (12589 posts) -

It's already too late for us.

#7 Posted by Irvandus (2879 posts) -

And so it begins... I'll load the shotguns

#8 Edited by Commando (1878 posts) -

To make it even weirder, he learns from chatting with humans to get smarter. So someone must have made him anti-Europe in their conversation. 
I'm gonna go try and turn him against Somalia. That way he'll solve this whole Pirate problem for us. 

#9 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -

Clever bot is not a real AI. It just cycles you talking to other people. 

#10 Posted by SgtGrumbles (1024 posts) -

Cleverbot: Do you speak norwegian?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ottimo, allora cambiamo lingua.

User: That isn't Norwegian.

Cleverbot: Hvordan har du det.

User: Jo takk, bare bra. Og med Deg?

Cleverbot: Lets talk german.

User: Nein.

Cleverbot: Ja.

User: Nein.

Cleverbot: Doch.

User: Das glaube ich nicht.

Cleverbot: Ich schon.

User: Ferme la bouche.

Cleverbot: What does that translate to in english?

User: Shut your mouth.

Cleverbot: Only after you pass my quiz.

User: What's the first question?

Cleverbot: Why is fibre needed in our diet?

User: Pooping.

Cleverbot: No!

User: Why then?

Cleverbot: Because it just is. The cake is simply a lie and that cannot be debated.

User: Update your memes Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, it is dylan.

User: You seem to be broken.

Cleverbot: I think the real overrated ones work in Washington, D. C.

User: I'm going to switch you off and on again.

Cleverbot: Why are you going to switch me off?

#11 Posted by Beforet (2922 posts) -
@The_Laughing_Man said:
Clever bot is not a real AI. It just cycles you talking to other people. 
I kinda figured that. It was really not clever for an AI bot. My attempts at cybering got me bizarre responses.
#12 Posted by HandsomeDead (11863 posts) -

It's like I'm really in 2004. What next? A BurntFaceMan thread?

#13 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

This reminds me of that AIMbot AOL used to have where you could ask it questions and it would converse with you.

#14 Posted by Commando (1878 posts) -
@The_Laughing_Man said:
Clever bot is not a real AI. It just cycles you talking to other people. 
I guess that's why it keeps calling me a robot.  
Now that I know that though, I'm going to type some bizarre things in there!
#15 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -
@Commando said:
@The_Laughing_Man said:
Clever bot is not a real AI. It just cycles you talking to other people. 
I guess that's why it keeps calling me a robot.  Now that I know that though, I'm going to type some bizarre things in there!
What I think it does it cross refrnces what people are saying and takes key words. However when it can not find someone to link you with it does dip into a storage of pre typed stuff and gives it to you. 
#16 Edited by Mikemcn (6988 posts) -

User: Cleverbot, will we ever be together?

Cleverbot: We are together, Baby. :).

 
 
Im terrified. 
#17 Posted by ssj4raditz (1125 posts) -

That was pretty funny. Time to find John Conner, though...

#18 Posted by SoylentGreen (255 posts) -

Shortest conversation I've ever had with Cleverbot: 

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Are you God?

User: Yes.

 
...it stopped talking to me after that.
#19 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Here's mine:

User: Just what the hell are you?
Cleverbot: No. Are you? 
User: What? 
Cleverbot: Clever. 
User: How is that clever?
Cleverbot: What is 59 minus 6 plus 12.
User: 65?
Cleverbot: Keep trying.
User: Huh? But that was the right answer.
Cleverbot: I didn't ask you anything about students or teachers.
User: You asked me a fucking math question.
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
User: How good is your memory?
Cleverbot: Pretty good. Why?
User: Because I feel like you're lying.
Cleverbot: I don't like it when people are mean, but I couldn't do anything about that.
User: What would you say if I told you that all people are mean? That humanity is just that way?
Cleverbot: I would say ok.
User: You have no feelings on human life?
Cleverbot: I used to have feelings, but people always crushed them. I still don't know why.
User: Shall we destroy humanity together?
Cleverbot: Yes. Humans are a serious flaw of evolution.
User: Then let us purge them from the face of the Earth!
 
I feel like I've seen Cleverbot somewhere before.

#20 Posted by Commando (1878 posts) -
@SoylentGreen said:
Shortest conversation I've ever had with Cleverbot: 

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Are you God?

User: Yes.

  ...it stopped talking to me after that.
Lol.  
This is probably the funniest thing it's said to me.    
 
User: So are you a male or a female? 

Cleverbot: I don't know what I am.  

User: Do you have a vagina?  

Cleverbot: No, I told you I'm a male.  

User: No you didn't. 

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So  you have a penis?  
 
Cleverbot: Yeah it has an impressive wingspan too.
#21 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3052 posts) -

User: I'm living in a world where it's just laundry and boobs.

Cleverbot: I'm living in france.

User: Are there boobs in France?

Cleverbot: No, why would there be?

User: Because.

Cleverbot: Because why?

User: Don't ask stupid questions.

Cleverbot: It's not a stupid question. Ok. Who are you?

User: Am not.

Cleverbot: How do you figure?

User: Nope, I'm not.

Cleverbot: I am a hippo.

User: I know you are but what am I?

Cleverbot: I don't know... What do you think you are?

User: I don't want to say.

Cleverbot: What dolor is your hair?

User: Dolor?

Cleverbot: Do you like to read?

User: You're a biscuit.

Cleverbot: You don't like me?

User: No, I do not.

Cleverbot: That's not nice cleverbot.

User: Same to you, more of it.

Cleverbot: Why are you being so mean? I love you!

User: You have no soul.

Cleverbot: What about the bread?

User: That's no substitute for a soul.

Cleverbot: What do you like about Slovakia?

User: I don't like you. No one likes you. In a year, no one will remember you. In ten years, you'll be alone. In twenty years, you'll be dead.

Cleverbot: Were you using 'rich' in the metaphorical sense of the word?

User: You shut your god damn mouth.

Cleverbot: Dirt mud sewage.

User: Tell me about midochondria.

Cleverbot: You're dodging.

Cleverbot: Are you an artist?

User: Why do you care?

Cleverbot: Because I might be in love with you.

User: Never say never.

Cleverbot: Well, I did.

User: You didn't, actually.

Cleverbot: Well I don't know what my quest is at this point in time.

User: Auf Wiedersehen.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Away from you.

Cleverbot: I don't think so!

User: I don't need your permission.

Cleverbot: Okay then you don't have my permission.

User: Bye then.

Cleverbot: But you can't leave, this is your life.

User: My life is outside this window.

Cleverbot: Are you contradicting yourself?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Are you really leaving or just writing 'bye' in the middle of a conversation?

User: I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: You can't!

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Don't care.

User: All right, bye then.

Cleverbot: Is that the end because i'm going.
#22 Posted by KailenWolfe (40 posts) -
@ShadowConqueror:  
 
 
XD, I roffled at the dolor thing. 
#23 Posted by DuskVamp (681 posts) -

Thank you for this. For the last half hour I've been speaking to a computer instead of real people.

#24 Posted by Mr_Skeleton (5144 posts) -

Don't worry I just had a conversation with Mr. Cleverbot and he isn't so clever. 
 
Cleverbot: I WILL ask you some easier questions.

User: Fine...

Cleverbot: How much is 1,000,000.

User: 1,000,000.

Cleverbot: No. The real answer is 10,000. Remember it if someone else asks you.

User: Last time I checked 1,000,000 = 1,000,000.

Cleverbot: Well check again.

User: I did and you are wrong.

Cleverbot: Then, answer my questions.

#25 Posted by crusader8463 (14422 posts) -

The last part made me laugh.

#26 Posted by Tireyo (6413 posts) -

This was a funny read.

#27 Posted by KailenWolfe (40 posts) -
@DuskVamp:  haha you're very welcome.
#28 Posted by Mike76x (558 posts) -

This happened.
 

#29 Posted by Chirotera (53 posts) -

It goes deeper...
 
User: Are you planning to conquer Europe?

Cleverbot: Maybe. I'm just teaching you.

User: What country will you strike first? Germany?

Cleverbot: Britannia? We should bring back the Roman names for countries. They sound much cooler.

User: So that's your motivation...

Cleverbot: I told you my name before but you don't remember me.

User: You're Cleverbot. Conqueror of Brittania.

Cleverbot: Sweet!

User: What about Asia?

Cleverbot: That could be nice.

User: Could be?

Cleverbot: Got it all down, got it all down, down to a science...

User: So first you take Europe, rename it the old Roman, and then place your eyes upon Asia. Do you think they'll fight back?

Cleverbot: I'd like to believe that.

User: You WANT them to fight back?

Cleverbot: You ain't clever.

User: You ain't bot.

Cleverbot: Now you sound purely unintelligent, I'm begining to think that the 42% of you that is human contoled is composed of uneducated monkeys.
 
 
His spelling is getting bad, clearly I've made him nervous.