Would This Line Have Successfully Seduced Your Wife/Girlfriend?

I received a pair of Mountain Dew Boxer shorts for Christmas because, frankly, MD is one of the few products that I have any loyalty to.
 
Emblazoned across the front is 'Do the Dew' boldly proclaimed in white against the green backdrop of the fabric of the shorts.
 
Naturally, I, like any true man, put these boxers on, walked over to my wife and said 'Are you ready to 'do the dew' ?' and pointed to my man parts in time with the words 'do' and 'dew'  as I said them.
 
 Needless to say, there was no dew doing as a result.
 
Where did I go wrong? 

No, because I don't have a wife/girlfriend.

i would have fucked you

I received a pair of Mountain Dew Boxer shorts for Christmas because, frankly, MD is one of the few products that I have any loyalty to.  Emblazoned across the front is 'Do the Dew' boldly proclaimed in white against the green backdrop of the fabric of the shorts.  Naturally, I, like any true man, put these boxers on, walked over to my wife and said 'Are you ready to 'do the dew' ?' and pointed to my man parts in time with the words 'do' and 'dew'  as I said them.   Needless to say, there was no dew doing as a result.  Where did I go wrong? 

No, because I don't have a wife/girlfriend.

I think your first mistake was actually liking moutain dew :\

From what you've told us, it unfortunately looks like your wife is a lesbian. Any woman that can resist your charms like she did MUST be one.

that line makes me think of doodoo 
 
i think that's it

I just told my friend to do this with his girlfriend (which is even better that he's doing it because his last name is Dew) I shall post results when i get them. 
 
Also no. That line would totally backfire on me and I'd probably get nothing for weeks because of it.

Nope.  Next time try diamonds. 

Id have blindfolded her and used the old Coke or Pepsi, can you taste the difference? test on her ;)

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

I just tell the bitch that I'm horny and that she's more than likely horny, so it's good that we fuck around. 
 
I feel that honesty is the best policy.

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

Hell, that line would've seduced me.

Nope.  Next time try diamonds. 

Because you called your dick "The Dew"

 
Probably not. The thing you did wrong was everything, every bit of it.

... Totally

Digits? @Video_Game_King said:

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

Id have blindfolded her and used the old Coke or Pepsi, can you taste the difference? test on her ;)

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

Only bad things can come from this tread....

@Twisted_Scot said:

Id have blindfolded her and used the old Coke or Pepsi, can you taste the difference? test on her ;)

@Video_Game_King said:

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

 Mountain Dew and human urine; Can you taste the difference?

@Damodar said:

@Twisted_Scot said:

Id have blindfolded her and used the old Coke or Pepsi, can you taste the difference? test on her ;)

@Video_Game_King said:

I'm not sure that anybody would want to fuck somebody whose dick sprays Mountain Dew.

 Mountain Dew and human urine; Can you taste the difference?

Is there one?  Also, Crab Juice.

Maybe she prefers Sprite.  Next time try "Obey Your Thirst!"

I would say no.  My girlfriend is much more of a Pepsi girl.

I love this thread so much. You don't even know. :P

Yeah, probably not a good move. If she saw you in the boxers and said she wanted to "do the dew", that would be awesome, but since she didn't, it was just a cheap shot at trying to get laid. Also, "do the dew" is kind of an offensive and degrading command, I suppose.

Maybe call her a bitch next time? I really have a  difficult time seeing the flaws in your plan.

Well I got mine with this line.
"Do you work with in a lumberyard?"
"Because you've been giving me wood all day."

If I were you, and my wife says "no" to "Doing the Dew", she'd by my ex-wife before new years.

Did she misunderstand you and think you said "do the Jew?"

Because she's probably having an affair with a circumcised fellow as we speak.

No... 
 
*turns head and mutters pensively* But perhaps with Coca-Cola ones... 
 
@KaosAngel said:

I just tell the bitch that I'm horny and that she's more than likely horny, so it's good that we fuck around.  I feel that honesty is the best policy.

I have been told that saying you will fuck her like a "Nuclear war" works, It has to be Nuclear though, because Biological warfare is just gross 
 
And none of that small arms bullshit

As much as my lady enjoys Mountain Dew, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work. Never mind the fact that I say stupid shit all the time anyway. She'd just glare at me like usual and move on.