Yo, Bro, it's Like Cloverfield or Some Shit
Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days opens with a blurry, YouTube-quality cinematic complete with snapped editing fresh out of a college film class textbook. I should know this, because the game's shoddy save system, weak online co-op, and ludicrous difficulty tiers had me restarting the game several times before I finally progressed to the next level.
However, in a twisted sense, I'm glad the game's fragile framework had me replaying levels over and over. By the time I finished the campaign, I had probably played each level at least twice over in the span of about 4.5 hours. During which there was a whole lot of obnoxious swearing, sloppy gun fights, forced co-op mechanics à la Army of Two (opening heavy doors, etc.), male nudity, and some overtly unique presentation. The story was too boring to bother following, and the characters are nothing more than Crazy Bearded Guy with Mullet, and Violent Bearded Guy with Combover. Bearded Dude 1 gets cut up, Bearded Dude 2 gets cut up, they mysteriously heal in time to mow down 200 more Chinese soldier, sporting gauze and sweatpants. All I know is that after two frustrating nights of online co-op playing on Pussy Ass Easy Mode, I had 400 GS and an empty feeling.
The multiplayer, however, is the silver lining in this whole sticky affair. The online modes, especially Undercover Cop, have huge potential. Players are unassumingly brought together, knowing from the get-go that their is a traitor in their midst. This means that, just like in any good bank robbery movie, everyone has secondary motives. Every player must defend themselves from police and gather all the money they can before escaping to the helicopter. Meanwhile, they must also keep their eyes peeled for suspicious activity. The entire competitve multiplayer experience revolves around trust, greed, honor among thieves, and taking risks. It really conveys a certain sense of what it would be like to be a desperate criminal where no one can be trusted except for you, and your quick trigger finger.
All in all, Kane & Lynch 2 tried too hard to mask a less than mediocre shooter with a revolutionary visual style that doesn’t necessarily fit with the game itself. The campaign is short enough to have relieved me when I beat it, but still brief enough to complain about for a $60 title in 2010. The saddest part of all is that this game’s saving grace is its multiplayer. If it were really given a chance, it could thrive. However, the matchmaking is atrotious, there are very few maps, and the community is dying as we speak. In closing, I can honestly say that the best thing this series has ever done was suck hard enough to set Gerstmann free from Gamespot, and give birth to THE GIANT BOMB <3
