After reading the news about a Mass Effect movie being in the works,  I wondered "Now how would they completely mess it up and turn it into an unwatchable garbage of a movie?"

Sure, they could do something many others have done before when it came to videogame-based movies: Ignore most if not all of the original storyline and just write their own tale, but I have some ideas of my own on how to make it terrible.

1. Make Commander Shepard a Paragon/Renegade who constantly flip-flops between the two.

Movie Shepard is neither Paragon nor Renegade, but in fact a very unpredictable person who acts polite and considerate in one minute and then arrogant and aggressive in the next for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that he has a mental disorder.

Imagine this scene:

Shepard: "Nobody has to die, just put the gun down and let's think for a minute here. What will happen if you do kill the governor?"

Some Dude (SD): "My people will be free!"

Shepard: "No, your people would be in even more danger. The governor's just a small player, and if he dies you'd provoke a fleet you can't possibly win against."

SD: "I... I guess you're right, but what should we do?"

Shepard: "Let me have a chat with the governor for a second. Governor?"

Governor: "Yes?"

*Shepard shoots the governor dead.

SD: "What the hell?!"

Shepard: "The governor's dead, you should have no trouble from now on."

SD and the audience: "Huh? What? But what about the fleet-"

*Shepard shoots SD in the leg*

Shepard: "I'm going to find some medi-gel and save you! Don't move!"

*Shepard finds medi-gel and heals a confused SD, then walks away.

2. Gilbert Gottfried as Wrex.

Yes, the man who voiced that parrot from Aladdin. Just think of that voice saying "I've got a bad feeling about this Shepard." Imagine the confrontation on Virmire with Gilbert's voice.

Actually, putting Gilbert in any major role would pretty much kill the movie. Man, imagine Saren with that voice.

3. Make Garrus a goofy, clumsy sidekick who can't be trusted with a gun. 
For 'comedic' effect, have him fall down every time he pulls a trigger.

4. Put Snoop Dogg in the role of Captain Anderson.

5. Male asari.

6. Make the movie three hours long, with two of those hours spent with a teenaged Commander Shepard 
The first two hours is all about him trying to get into the Alliance. In the final hour, rush every single event between the attack on Eden Prime and the attack on the Citadel with as little dialogue and as many explosions as possible.

7. Tali Zorah wears a giant fishbowl helmet throughout the entire course of the movie. 
She only speaks with 'glub glub'.

Of course, my ideas may actually sound great to some folks on planet Earth somewhere, though whoever those people are, I hope they won't have anything to do with the Mass Effect movie.

Share with me, fellow fans: What would make the movie terrible for you?

 After reading the news about a Mass Effect movie being in the works,  I wondered "Now how would they completely mess it up and turn it into an unwatchable garbage of a movie?"

Sure, they could do something many others have done before when it came to videogame-based movies: Ignore most if not all of the original storyline and just write their own tale, but I have some ideas of my own on how to make it terrible.

1. Make Commander Shepard a Paragon/Renegade who constantly flip-flops between the two.

Movie Shepard is neither Paragon nor Renegade, but in fact a very unpredictable person who acts polite and considerate in one minute and then arrogant and aggressive in the next for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that he has a mental disorder.

Imagine this scene:

Shepard: "Nobody has to die, just put the gun down and let's think for a minute here. What will happen if you do kill the governor?"

Some Dude (SD): "My people will be free!"

Shepard: "No, your people would be in even more danger. The governor's just a small player, and if he dies you'd provoke a fleet you can't possibly win against."

SD: "I... I guess you're right, but what should we do?"

Shepard: "Let me have a chat with the governor for a second. Governor?"

Governor: "Yes?"

*Shepard shoots the governor dead.

SD: "What the hell?!"

Shepard: "The governor's dead, you should have no trouble from now on."

SD and the audience: "Huh? What? But what about the fleet-"

*Shepard shoots SD in the leg*

Shepard: "I'm going to find some medi-gel and save you! Don't move!"

*Shepard finds medi-gel and heals a confused SD, then walks away.

2. Gilbert Gottfried as Wrex.

Yes, the man who voiced that parrot from Aladdin. Just think of that voice saying "I've got a bad feeling about this Shepard." Imagine the confrontation on Virmire with Gilbert's voice.

Actually, putting Gilbert in any major role would pretty much kill the movie. Man, imagine Saren with that voice.

3. Make Garrus a goofy, clumsy sidekick who can't be trusted with a gun. 
For 'comedic' effect, have him fall down every time he pulls a trigger.

4. Put Snoop Dogg in the role of Captain Anderson.

5. Male asari.

6. Make the movie three hours long, with two of those hours spent with a teenaged Commander Shepard 
The first two hours is all about him trying to get into the Alliance. In the final hour, rush every single event between the attack on Eden Prime and the attack on the Citadel with as little dialogue and as many explosions as possible.

7. Tali Zorah wears a giant fishbowl helmet throughout the entire course of the movie. 
She only speaks with 'glub glub'.

Of course, my ideas may actually sound great to some folks on planet Earth somewhere, though whoever those people are, I hope they won't have anything to do with the Mass Effect movie.

Share with me, fellow fans: What would make the movie terrible for you?

Well one of the things that bad video game movies have in common: the main characters look and act nothing like in the game. #1 and #4 I guess. This is a distinct possibility.   
 

Watch the Wing Commander movie. Basically that.

Commander Shepard =/= Jack Shephard. If they hire Matthew Fox I will never buy a Bioware game again.

how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie.

" how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

" @Ryax said:

" how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

This. The reason people love Mass Effect's story isn't that it's a good story, but that it's interactive. Once you take the interactivity away, it's just mediocre, clichéd sci-fi drivel. "

 
The same way we ruin every movie pinky-try to put in annoying comedic relief characters!

" @Icemael said:

" @Ryax said:

" how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

This. The reason people love Mass Effect's story isn't that it's a good story, but that it's interactive. Once you take the interactivity away, it's just mediocre, clichéd sci-fi drivel. "

That's not true at all.  The lore is so deep, authentic and fleshed out that I've even read both the books.  And, if you didn't know, they weren't choose-your-adventure. "

" @SmithSyndicate said:

" @Icemael said:

" @Ryax said:

" how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

This. The reason people love Mass Effect's story isn't that it's a good story, but that it's interactive. Once you take the interactivity away, it's just mediocre, clichéd sci-fi drivel. "

That's not true at all.  The lore is so deep, authentic and fleshed out that I've even read both the books.  And, if you didn't know, they weren't choose-your-adventure. "

congrats. still gonna be a shitty movie "

Well how much money are they putting into it?  If they took a good story, and mixed it with the Mass Effect universe, it could be good.  Something tells me that the story will be mediocre though.

I think by just making the main character Shepard they would ruin it, or at least ruin my interest.

" @Geno: actually he looks alot like the prince in costume "

Can't say much about ruining the Mass Effect movie, but in my opinion the only way they can make a Mass Effect movie is by making like 10 versions of it all with completely different Shepards[both male and female], and each version of Shepard makes a different decision for any and every choice in the movie. And the theater can't tell you what version of the movie you're about to watch. That way, it's a surprising experience each time you watch the movie! 
 
Also, at least one version needs to have Nolan North as Shepard.

I agree if its a 3 hour long bore it'll be no good. You can cover ME in a buck and a half. Before anyone insists otherwise, consider how much extraneous info exists for, say, Star Wars, and how much you needed to know to enjoy the first movie. You didn't need to know shit going in and its 2 hours almost on the dot. The necessary plotpoints can be covered under 2 hours, easily. Hopefully the director comes in from the outside so he can make a good movie instead of an "accurate" (shitty) one.

The perfect way to ruin the Mass Effect movie is to make it.

" The perfect way to ruin the Mass Effect movie is to make it. "

" @Ryax said:

" how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

This. The reason people love Mass Effect's story isn't that it's a good story, but that it's interactive. Once you take the interactivity away, it's just mediocre, clichéd sci-fi drivel. "

" If they make it about shepard then it will ruin the game for me. "

" @natural_deadhead said:

" If they make it about shepard then it will ruin the game for me. "

I can not agree more. Shepard to me is the character that made the decisions I made in-game, not what a director or producer thinks Shepard is. Bioware has crafted a big enough universe/lore that they could make a movie not involving Shepard at all. "

I think the part where they make the movie is the part where they fuck it up. 

" @BibleDoctor said:

" The perfect way to ruin the Mass Effect movie is to make it. "

already said "

" @Ryax said:

" @BibleDoctor said:

" The perfect way to ruin the Mass Effect movie is to make it. "

already said "

GODDAMNIT.   I hate it when people use my ideas before I think of them.  "

" @natural_deadhead said:

" If they make it about shepard then it will ruin the game for me. "

I can not agree more. Shepard to me is the character that made the decisions I made in-game, not what a director or producer thinks Shepard is. Bioware has crafted a big enough universe/lore that they could make a movie not involving Shepard at all. "

2. Gilbert Gottfried as Wrex.

Yes, the man who voiced that parrot from Aladdin. Just think of that voice saying "I've got a bad feeling about this Shepard." Imagine the confrontation on Virmire with Gilbert's voice.

"
You all think following your suggestions is shit but you all forgot the shit cherry on top. 
 
3-D!!!!!!! "

Snoop Dogg as Captain Anderson... GENIUS! You should be a developer for BioWare, help them make make Mass Effect 3 the correct way....

" @Sir_Ragnarok said:

" @Ryax said:

" @BibleDoctor said:

" The perfect way to ruin the Mass Effect movie is to make it. "

already said "

GODDAMNIT.   I hate it when people use my ideas before I think of them.  "

oooh, as it was loading someone took my thoughts, I LOVE YOU RYAX, WILL U MARRY ME AND CONVERT TO THE RELIGION OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER????? "

yep, I see that the truth is already out :p, exactly what I was going to say, any video game movie is already doomed from the get go, it is sure to suck.
 
Whana ruin it? just make it.
 
I think that's mainly because this is usually a decision made by suits, then they assign some director, who of course hasn't got a effin clue about gaming at all, and well, the results are always the same.
 
edit : and of course there's always mr.Uwe Boll

The perfect way to ruin a mass effect movie is to make it.

"how to ruin a mass effect movie? making mass effect into a movie. "

I think If they make a movie, they shouldn't make it about Shepard. Make a whole new film trilogy, new characters, new location and only reference the games. Mass Effect is a Universe, the books and comics have been good about this cause they weren't the game lore, they only reference.

" The perfect way to ruin a mass effect movie is to make it. "

" I think by just making the main character Shepard they would ruin it, or at least ruin my interest. "

Q: How to ruin the Mass Effect movie?
 
A: Make it.