Say goodbye to one of the few remaining cornerstones of childhood. The Monopoly board as we know it is being supplemented with a new version Hasbro believes will appeal more to today's swaggy youth. Time to welcome in the new age of chaos—because Monopoly Empire is about to be coming to you totally jail-free.

Just to be clear: You'll still be able to buy the old version of Monopoly, for now, the one with consequences. But this latest iteration will be a jail-less dystopia. ..

Hasbro asked the children of the internet what they wanted and, to absolutely no one's surprise, the internet responded with its answer for everything: Cat.

That's right. In this new Monopoly, jail is gone. Dead. No more. And why? Because Hasbro thinks kids these days are too busy. What with the soccer practice and the ACT tutoring and the Xbox and the twerking and the Bieber fever, hours of gameplay is just too much for their poor little brains to handle. The removal of jail—and all subsequent order and civility in Monopolyland—has allowed the average game to be shaved down to a measly 30-minute affair. And I'm calling bullshit.

Gizmodo: Monopoly Is Getting Rid of Jail. That's Some Bullshit.

This guy likes to rant. I liked Jail, goddangit. Fuck, remember to drink your whiskey folks. :/

FUCK THIS SHIT.

I'm having a tough time seeing the real problem with it. What did having the jail add to the game? A chance card that says go there. A house rule where if you roll three doubles in a row you go to jail for speeding. Seemed like a pretty pointless part of the gameplay. So either cut it or change it to be more meaningful.

Maybe I'm missing something. It's been a while since I played Monopoly.

@chilibean_3: You're not supposed to collect rent in jail. Pretty big Somewhat meaningful implications right there.

Screw that. Stop dumbing things down because the latest generation has the attention span of a gold fish. If they don't have time/patience to play Monopoly then too bad for them.

They better keep selling old Monopoly. That game was a staple of my childhood.

That is stupid and all but how many people have finished a real game of Monopoly?

Shoulda replaced it with something that straight up removes you from the game. Like a taxpaying lynch mob that's tired of your monopolizing bullshit.

@i8donuts: I've finished loads... I think... The games does end when a family member swipes the board and runs out room crying, doesn't it?

Yeah, we've finished loads in our house.

Might as well make every corner of the board just give you $200 for passing it if you are going to tell kids 'Hey there are no consequences. Also constant free money!'

Gross.

Am I missing something here or has there been any sort of announcement regarding the replacement for jail?

Do you have a sister?

Monopoly's a great game that I hardly play because it never fucking ends, so trying to streamline it is a good idea.

But straight up taking out one of the only strategic parts though will only make it significantly less fun.

(I always played that you can collect rent while in jail, white collar crime style. So having a rest in the slammer while the other fools go through your minefield was a great move.)

To be fair, the kids make a good argument:

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS

So what are those 2 spaces being replaced with?

No jail.

Shoes only.

Boardwalk.

How many of the people complaining have played a game of Monopoly in the past three years? Or even own it?

Who the fuck would call the jail in Monopoly a "cornerstone of their childhood?" Jesus Christ.

The more we hate, the older we'll get. Even for us in our 20s.

At this rate, 25 will become the new 30, if it hasn't already.

Get with the times gramps, who needs jail when you have #swag?

I haven't played a monopoly game since I was 11. And I only finished a few handful of games in my lifetime, most people simply quit after an hour.

What a fuck

I have the Futurama Monopoly board...

So I couldn't give a fuck what they change now, I'm set for life!

I've finished dozens of Monopoly games. I have a lot of Jewish friends.

I seriously fucking doubt that.

Monopoly is terrible and Jail is one of the worst parts about it.

Pfft! The threat of going to jail is a part of gaining a monopoly.

No more privatized prisons! No but seriously as the guy above me stated, monopolies lose all seriousness when getting your ass thrown in jail for shady business practices is no longer a possibility.

The jail part should have been expanded and made into a mini game where you've got to survive the different factions and take out Simon Adebise.

ATTICA!!! NEVER FORGET MOFOS.

So it's basically a balancing patch with a new character being sold at full price.

Meh, I will wait for Hyper Ultra edition.

@fourwude said:

There should totally be a board game all about being in jail.

Even in board games the 1% can't be held accountable.