The Patrick Klepek wiki last edited by behardy on 06/17/14 12:23AM View full history

Biography

Prior to being a Whiskey Media employee, Patrick "BigNasty" Klepek was born and raised on the mean streets of suburban Chicago before going to the University of Illinois where he graduated with a BA in Print Journalism. He has worked at 1UP and MTV Multiplayer Blog as a reporter. He then worked as a freelance journalist at many websites, including Gamasutra, What They Play, and GameSpy. Several months later, he started working at G4 as a News Editor, where he broke the infamous West and Zampella vs. Activision story.

Trivia

  • Known to ask the introspective question, "What is video games?"
  • Patrick hates spiders, specifically tarantulas.
  • Really likes fart jokes.
  • But is more or less indifferent towards ducks.
  • He came up with the idea for Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong.
  • Upon joining Giant Bomb, he increased the volume of hair in the Whiskey Media office by 3000%.
  • Patrick once won a Golden Globe for "best supporting hair".
  • Once played table tennis with the fictional character of Tony Soprano.
  • Patrick eats food, just as the rest of us.
  • He enjoys holding his arms in the air in a successful fashion.
  • Invented aggressive bush jumping.
  • In the event of Giant Bomb's demise, Patrick will post video game news on Google Docs.
  • Was once spotted hanging out with Kevin Bacon, making him 0 degrees away from Mr. Bacon.
  • Strands of Klepek's hair can only be cut by his other, sharper strands of hair.
  • Patrick proposed to his fiancée on-stage at the premiere event for Evil Bong 3-D.
  • Patrick owns a Chihuahua named Pixel. Pixel has been petted by the one Matthew Rorie.
  • His Quick Look debut was in The Fancy Pants Adventures, which is appropriate since his pants are always fancy.
  • Does not want a third K in his name, because "3 K's would probably be too much".
  • May be the son of "Weird Al" Yankovic.
  • Still has a spider stuck in his hair somewhere.
  • Is rumored to be Funky Student's half brother.
  • Favorite game is the original Deus Ex.
  • Patrick HATES crabs, pubic or otherwise.
  • His brother Timmy Klepek is the guitarist of The Audition.
  • He has perfected something called "jukebox trolling".
  • Much like one Drew Scanlon his hair provides negative weight, making him lighter overall.
  • He loves the word vaunt.
  • His parents are named Thomas and Nancy.
  • He is a greek god.
  • Lived in Wisconsin when he was young.
  • Once met Damon Lindelof but thought it was Carlton Cuse.
  • According to twitter, EA's own Jeff Green is the father of Patrick.
  • Has an uncanny likeness to the depiction of Mercury within Botticelli's Primavera. If the original model Klepek would be over 500 years old.
  • During the 2011 Whiskey Media Big Live Live Show Live!, Patrick brutally murdered Cool Baby.
  • Played a lot of Mega Man Soccer when he was a kid.
  • Patrick's father was the sales VP for Riddell.
  • Patrick attended college at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
  • Patrick's mother developed a crippling Tetris addiction during his younger years. When him and his brother would go to school they would come home to find their GameBoy completely drained of batteries.
  • Patrick doesn't like fantasy games.
  • Patrick is secretly a ROCK GOD.
  • Nolan North once said he had cold hands.
  • He once called Nolan North an "asshole" to his face and lived to tell the tale.
  • Has never been seen in the same room as Peter Molydeux...
  • Was jokingly given the nickname of "Trick" by the rest of the Bomb Squad when they were discussing reporters who give themselves nicknames. It has now stuck.
  • Defies the Mid-Western stereotype by not liking Chicago-style hot dogs. He also doesn't like root beer.
  • Has a creepy affection for dinosaurs.
  • Don't call him Pat. Do call him "Tricky" or "Scoops".
  • Uses the phrase "baked in" a lot when describing video games.
  • Has also been known as Patrick "Sexy Time" Klepek.
  • Broke his collarbone after spectacularly flipping off his bike in the wild streets of San Francisco. Rumors of this incident being an Urban Trials Freestyle PR stunt are yet unconfirmed.
  • His undying love for the Jurassic Park film series knows no bounds.
  • On March 14th, 2013, an image of Patrick featured in an episode of the TV show Archer.
  • Patrick is an abuser of what's known on the streets as "touch fuzzy, get dizzy". Many interventions have been attempted, but none have been successful.
  • He is a Chicago Bears, and a Chicago Bulls fan.
  • Patrick Klepek will now take your calls at Patrick Klepek Will Now Take Your Calls.
  • Patrick is known as patrick klepek on Xbox Live.
  • Has an unfathomable love for Final Fantasy VIII, to much of the community's dismay.
  • Used to run an Weezer fan site titled "Unreleased Weezer for the Masses".
  • Patrick joined the Giantbombcast as of the 04-19-2011 cast, but also appeared as a guest for the first GDC 2011 cast on 03-02-2011.
  • After finishing his review for Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, he was promoted to be the official Giant Bomb Anime Editor. The position was formerly held by Bradford Shoemaker.
  • His middle name is "Benjamin."

Powers and Abilities

  • Unlike Cyclops, Klepek must don sunglasses to activate his eye lasers.
  • Patrick regularly receives video game news by using his curls as an antenna.
  • It is rumored that Patrick hides an assortment of Bond-like gadgetry within his hair.
  • Mr. Klepek grants the ability of breathing above water to dolphins at will.
  • When threatened, Klepek can shield his entire body with his powerful, mighty hair, much like Bayonetta.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Klepek does not use his hair as clothes and pants on a regular basis.
  • When Klepek is submerged for a length of time greater than 1.78 minutes the cortex of his hair will expand, allowing him to absorb the body of liquid within his locks. This can then be deposited any time up to 4 hours after liquid incursion. The only other being known to have a power such as this is the sea god Poseidon.
  • When waved, Klepek's hair can pull in nearby tides, further proof he is a descendant of the sea god Poseidon.
  • He fights like a Red Guy because he is faster than your ship.
  • In February of 2013 he became the world's first Bionic Games Journalist.
  • Klepek is able to summon a small Hotdog version of himself anywhere in the world at any moment.

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