I'm a little bit torn. For my birthday I was given the game Avatar: The Burning Earth, because people know I'm a big fan of the cartoon and a big fan of those video games as well. What they didn't know, is that this game is famous for having the cheapest and most broken 1000 points of gamerscore out there. The video has been around for a while. I'm more than a little bit addicted to getting those points, but this one just feels wrong.
 
Of course, I also have most of the achievements from that Doritos game, but I justified that to myself by it being an okay little game. I'd have totally paid a quarter to play that one back when there still were arcades. Sure, I bought a big bag of Doritos after playing it, but that's because I like chips. That had nothing to do with spending an hour playing a fatty snack themed game, right? Maybe?
 
If you subscribe to the fighting game theory that nothing is cheap, then I guess it's clear what to do. The points inflation from this game has already occurred, I'm just returning my score to its baseline. That's what I'll tell myself, but I have to admit that I already don't really believe it. They're cheap, nearly unearned points. I should feel bad about it.
 
But hey, a third S-Rank! Sweet!

I had a bad experience with Mega Man 9. I loved Mega Man when I was a kid, but in the intervening years I've gone soft. I don't have the free time I once did, and it seems I've become more emotionally vulnerable. When Mega Man 9 told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was an asshat jerkwad sucktard and then repeatedly kicked me in the nuts, well, I took it personally.

Mega Man 9 *hates* me. 'Splosion Man hates me too, but it hid it so well, and was usually so polite about it, that I almost never minded.

It's easier than Mega Man 9, let's make that clear. You 'splode to jump, you 'splode to detonate various 'splosive objects scattered throughout the world, and then, when done, you can 'splode some more. There are similar instant-kill areas as in Mega Man, and they can be frustrating, but -- with two notable exceptions -- they're not as maliciously placed. The biggest way 'Splosion Man hides its hatred for you, however, is the tight checkpointing.

Mega Man had three checkpoints per level, the start, the middle, and right before the boss. It also threw in a limited number of lives just to further grind its heel into your sack. If you die at the mid-boss, you start right over at the beginning, and if you run out  of lives, guess what, back to the beginning for you. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. 

'Splosion Man has many checkpoints per level, infinite lives, and the levels themselves are fairly short. If done right, most can be completed in five minutes or less. There are many tricky parts, but also some sections where once you have the timing and movement down, you can fly through them in a glorious sequence of 'sploding.

The platforming is fun enough, most of the time, but the goofy sense of humor is what really sells it. When detonated, the scientists spew out cuts of beef, and at a few points you pick up a chubby scientist and are treated to one of the funnier songs in modern gaming. The art design is similarly goofy. Mega Man's pixels couldn't disguise its hatred very well, but this game pulls it off.

There are, however, two levels in 'Splosion Man and at least one boss fight that reveal the game's true feelings. They come a bit out of nowhere, ramping up the difficulty tremendously, and then once past, never get that hard again. It's an odd design choice.

While Mega Man 9 was a little bit too hard for my fragile emotions, 'Splosion Man feels just right.

It's the year of the sequel -- the second in the series -- as company after company drops a big number two on the gaming public. Anticipated within the next twelve months are such titles as Assassins Creed 2, Bioshock 2, Left 4 Dead 2, possibly Crackdown 2, Dead Rising 2, DiRT 2, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, Mass Effect 2, ARMA II, The BIGS 2, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, Red Steel 2, Lost Planet 2, and Modern Warfare 2 (which might secretly be a 6 disguised as a 2) . Already released are games I loved like Skate 2, Fable II, and -- breaking news -- Worms 2: Armageddon.

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with where we are in the console cycle. A bunch of new games were released when the Xbox 360 (also a second in the series), Playstation 3,  and Wii first came out, and we're hitting the point a few years later where the developers could turn around a sequel for the games that seemed to warrant them. Personally, I think it's a great thing as the second game has a chance to iron out any problems found in the first, while still delivering more of the same game play I loved before.

I'm excited. Who else is ready to go number 2?

http://somafm.com/play/missioncontrol

This is pretty slick. Radio chatter from the moon landings mixed in with ambient musical droning.

But then I also like listening to airport radio chatter, so I might just be weird this way.

I listened to this while finishing up Red Faction: Guerrilla last night. It made failing at the last mission eight or nine times more tolerable.

Mass Effect contains a deep, expansive world full of intrigue, danger, and dialogue trees. It pretty much defines the "RPG Shooter" sub-genre, and is good for dozens upon dozens of hours of sci-fi adventure fun. This iPhone based prequel to Mass Effect's upcoming sequel has subtle hints of many of these things, but not enough gameplay to make it worth your while.

You do get to meet two characters that will also be in Mass Effect 2, Jacob and Miranda. Jacob is a tough space marine type with a -- wait for it -- shaved head. Miranda is a sexy bounty hunter type who pops up from time to time in hologram form to tell Jacob to be careful.

You play as Jacob. When not choosing from dialogue trees you pilot him around the screen by tilting the iPhone while he selects the next target and shoots at it. You can also tap on a target to get Jacob to shoot at that one instead, and a good majority of the time that retargeting actually works. There are the standard Mass Effect "Force Powers"... sorry, I mean "Biotic Powers" and a few types of guns to shoot. The heavy gun is the most effective at removing an enemy's shield, but unless your target is near a wall, it will often overshoot.

The heavy gun in particular seems like a vague hint of things to come in Mass Effect 2. There are some of the sounds you remember, some of the dialgoue trees, some of the characters. Playing Mass Effect: Galaxy is smelling a pizza in the next room, when what you really want is to eat the whole thing. At $3 it might be worth it just to meet the characters and get the promised reward in Mass Effect 2, but if you're looking for actual Mass Effect, this isn't it.