Alphazero
Alphazero's last update: I've finally seen the light on co-op gaming. Thank you, Borderlands.
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Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
  • Let's focus on the important things. Two words: Box. Art.
    2 days, 10 hours ago
Nov. 18, 2009
Nov. 17, 2009
Nov. 16, 2009
  • Alphazero unlocked 1 achievement in Borderlands
    5 days ago
  • Alphazero replied to the topic First review is in...kinda. in the Assassin's Creed II board.
    In defense of the flag collecting in the first one....  It was bit like a guided tour of some very cool spots in the game that you wouldn't have reason to get to otherwise. Like the tippy top of the cathedral in Acre. Beautiful.  But yeah, getting 1000/1000 on AC1 has probably cured me of ever doing collecting for collecting's sake ever again.
    5 days, 4 hours ago
  • @get2sammyb said: " As a Brit, absolutely. I'm just thankful the game isn't solely "America, Fuck Yeah!" like so many of these things are. Thank goodness for Price and MacTavish. "I really liked those two. I'm a sucker for a good stealth sequence. "Nice kill," in the accent makes it even better somehow.  Americans don't always agree with their cousins across the pond, but, hey, they're family.
    5 days, 6 hours ago
  • I'm Oscar Meyer, and my Bologna has a first name, if you know what I mean.
    5 days, 7 hours ago
Nov. 15, 2009
Added by Alphazero on Nov. 10, 2009

I just picked up my copy of Modern Warfare 2 after it was shipped here by Amazon. I can't actually play the game until tonight, so here's my review of the manual included in the stock $60 version of the game:
 
Meh. 
 
 Seems so distant lately
 Seems so distant lately
Nine pages, two of which are the software license agreement, one of which is a page for notes. I'm sure I'll make good use of that : (Dear manual, Got pwned today, Love, Alphazero. P.S. Do you think Soap likes me?). Shows the controls, a paragraph about each game mode, some arrows pointing at Heads Up Display elements, and that's about it.
 
There is a code on the back that gives me EXCLUSIVE access to something or other at InfinityWard.com. Don't be too jealous, but I'm going to try it out soon and probably be chatting with babes all day.
 
Can't wait to play the game! Big ups to whichever assistant producer at Infinity Ward had to photocopy and staple this bad boy. Top notch work.  You can't get staples like this in a PDF.
Related to: Modern Warfare 2


Added by Alphazero on Sept. 2, 2009

I'm a little bit torn. For my birthday I was given the game Avatar: The Burning Earth, because people know I'm a big fan of the cartoon and a big fan of those video games as well. What they didn't know, is that this game is famous for having the cheapest and most broken 1000 points of gamerscore out there. The video has been around for a while. I'm more than a little bit addicted to getting those points, but this one just feels wrong.
 
Of course, I also have most of the achievements from that Doritos game, but I justified that to myself by it being an okay little game. I'd have totally paid a quarter to play that one back when there still were arcades. Sure, I bought a big bag of Doritos after playing it, but that's because I like chips. That had nothing to do with spending an hour playing a fatty snack themed game, right? Maybe?
 
If you subscribe to the fighting game theory that nothing is cheap, then I guess it's clear what to do. The points inflation from this game has already occurred, I'm just returning my score to its baseline. That's what I'll tell myself, but I have to admit that I already don't really believe it. They're cheap, nearly unearned points. I should feel bad about it.
 
But hey, a third S-Rank! Sweet!


Added by Alphazero on Aug. 11, 2009


Doesn't Say Mean Things To Your Face
Doesn't Say Mean Things To Your Face
I had a bad experience with Mega Man 9. I loved Mega Man when I was a kid, but in the intervening years I've gone soft. I don't have the free time I once did, and it seems I've become more emotionally vulnerable. When Mega Man 9 told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was an asshat jerkwad sucktard and then repeatedly kicked me in the nuts, well, I took it personally.

Mega Man 9 *hates* me. 'Splosion Man hates me too, but it hid it so well, and was usually so polite about it, that I almost never minded.

It's easier than Mega Man 9, let's make that clear. You 'splode to jump, you 'splode to detonate various 'splosive objects scattered throughout the world, and then, when done, you can 'splode some more. There are similar instant-kill areas as in Mega Man, and they can be frustrating, but -- with two notable exceptions -- they're not as maliciously placed. The biggest way 'Splosion Man hides its hatred for you, however, is the tight checkpointing.

Not Taking Back What He Said About Your Mother
Not Taking Back What He Said About Your Mother
Mega Man had three checkpoints per level, the start, the middle, and right before the boss. It also threw in a limited number of lives just to further grind its heel into your sack. If you die at the mid-boss, you start right over at the beginning, and if you run out  of lives, guess what, back to the beginning for you. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. 

'Splosion Man has many checkpoints per level, infinite lives, and the levels themselves are fairly short. If done right, most can be completed in five minutes or less. There are many tricky parts, but also some sections where once you have the timing and movement down, you can fly through them in a glorious sequence of 'sploding.

The platforming is fun enough, most of the time, but the goofy sense of humor is what really sells it. When detonated, the scientists spew out cuts of beef, and at a few points you pick up a chubby scientist and are treated to one of the funnier songs in modern gaming. The art design is similarly goofy. Mega Man's pixels couldn't disguise its hatred very well, but this game pulls it off.

Everybody Loves Them
Everybody Loves Them
There are, however, two levels in 'Splosion Man and at least one boss fight that reveal the game's true feelings. They come a bit out of nowhere, ramping up the difficulty tremendously, and then once past, never get that hard again. It's an odd design choice.

While Mega Man 9 was a little bit too hard for my fragile emotions, 'Splosion Man feels just right.


Added by Alphazero on July 28, 2009

It's the year of the sequel -- the second in the series -- as company after company drops a big number two on the gaming public. Anticipated within the next twelve months are such titles as Assassins Creed 2, Bioshock 2, Left 4 Dead 2, possibly Crackdown 2, Dead Rising 2, DiRT 2, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, Mass Effect 2, ARMA II, The BIGS 2, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, Red Steel 2, Lost Planet 2, and Modern Warfare 2 (which might secretly be a 6 disguised as a 2) . Already released are games I loved like Skate 2, Fable II, and -- breaking news -- Worms 2: Armageddon.

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with where we are in the console cycle. A bunch of new games were released when the Xbox 360 (also a second in the series), Playstation 3,  and Wii first came out, and we're hitting the point a few years later where the developers could turn around a sequel for the games that seemed to warrant them. Personally, I think it's a great thing as the second game has a chance to iron out any problems found in the first, while still delivering more of the same game play I loved before.

I'm excited. Who else is ready to go number 2?
Related to: Sequel


Added by Alphazero on July 22, 2009

http://somafm.com/play/missioncontrol

This is pretty slick. Radio chatter from the moon landings mixed in with ambient musical droning.

But then I also like listening to airport radio chatter, so I might just be weird this way.

I listened to this while finishing up Red Faction: Guerrilla last night. It made failing at the last mission eight or nine times more tolerable.


Alphazero's Reviews
Left, Right, Back, Back, Shoot, Shoot, Shoot (IPHN)
B.J.  Blazkowicz, the protagonist of all things Wolfenstein, has a tough life. Single handedly taking on entire Nazi army can leave him looking pretty beat up, at least until he eats a chicken dinner and is instantly cured.  This iPhone version of the Escape from Castle Wolfenstein story changes the ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on Nov. 8, 2009
'Splosion Man (Secretly) Hates You (XBLM)
Doesn't Say Mean Things To Your Face  I had a bad experience with Mega Man 9. I loved Mega Man when I was a kid, but in the intervening years I've gone soft. I don't have the free time I once did, and it seems I've become more emotionally vulnerable. ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on Aug. 11, 2009
Casual Effect: Casual (IPHN)
Mass Effect contains a deep, expansive world full of intrigue, danger, and dialogue trees. It pretty much defines the "RPG Shooter" sub-genre, and is good for dozens upon dozens of hours of sci-fi adventure fun. This iPhone based prequel to Mass Effect's upcoming sequel has subtle hints of many of ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on July 20, 2009

1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
I Hate You Mega Man (XBLM)
JerkMega Man 9 hates you, and isn't afraid to let you know. Here's news for you Mega Man 9. I hate you back. Please let me have one more E-Tank.It's just as hard as everyone says. Most games of the Mega Man 2 era require memorization, but this game, ostentiably ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on June 14, 2009

0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
Three Pronged Attack ()
Penny Arcade Adventures on the Rain Slicked Precipice of Darkness Episode 2. The name alone almost fills out the minimum word requirements for a review. Gabe and Tycho return to their steam-punkish, magic filled city of New Arcadia and evil is once again afoot. The comedy is foul mouthed, and ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on March 18, 2009
Dead Space First Place *SPOILERS* (X360)
Necromorphs. I *hate* those guys.The boss battles look amazing, that much is certain. Fighting the hivemind as it reared it's ugly... head?... a dozen stories into the air while an enormous chunk of the planet burned its way through the atmosphere above made me grin. "Awesome," I said to myself. ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on March 16, 2009
Political Fallout (X360)
Fallout 3 is big. Really big. You might think it's a long way to the corner store, but that's peanuts to Fallout. There is much to love in Fallout. The world is big. The density of content is astounding. While it is a wasteland you travel through, you can't go ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on Jan. 1, 2009
Baldr's Floating Gate (X360)
I bought Too Human for a few reasons. First, there was the game's fearless leader, Dennis Dyack, and his multiple  forum based shenanigans. I found the whole thing endlessly entertaining and want to do my part to support outlandish behavior in the people who make games. Second, I'm a big ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on Nov. 5, 2008
Size Matters (X360)
You know, the King of All Cosmos is kind of a dick. He berates you, The Prince, for a few minutes before dropping you off without warning in the most cluttered Japanese restaurant you've ever seen in your life, forces you to roll up all of the knick-knacks scattered about ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on July 21, 2008
Death from Above (X360)
The rumors are true. Assassins Creed does indeed get a bit repetitive in its core gameplay mechanics. Before each of the nine major assassinations that Altair is required to perform you must:1) Climb to several high points in the city, and hit a button that forces you to look around ...
Reviewed by Alphazero on July 21, 2008


Date Joined: July 21, 2008
City: Mill Valley
Gender: Male
Alignment: Neutral
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