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blackbird415

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Beginning to finally be comfortable with who I am

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Hi people of Giantbomb. My name is Brian and I'am currently a college student residing in Colorado springs, Colorado. For the longest time I have struggle with the whole concept of self worth. Many days I have questioned why I get out of bed in the morning. Why do I even exist and whats the point of it? Other times i'll feel fine. Things aren't going terribly for me and really haven't been other than Lyme disease, but I still struggle at times with the concept of success. At times its been hard to see even where I'm going in my life. 
I think as college rolls on i'am just now getting used to myself again. Some days really feel like nothing more than dreams. It can get depressing after a while, but I'm getting back to being on the positive side and in doing so things are going better. I'm socializing more slowly, but surely.  I'm helping friends with their problems whether simple classwork or personal and thats fulfilling. Thing is I felt gloomy this weekend and it threw me off. Depression hit and its hard to battle. Watching the whole season of Louie didn't help either. Things look better already though and its very nice to get reassurance from friends and people around me in general. Things are starting to look up again and with time and self awareness things can stay that way.
 
Have you had moments of darkness and gloom?  
What did you do to fight it? 
Do you still feel at times that you don't know what you can contribute to the world?    
61 Comments

61 Comments

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bellmont42

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Edited By bellmont42

Yep, I constantly wonder why I keep doing things and waste so much time doing things because I'm just going to die anyways. I find existence absolutely pointless but whatever I don't even care because there's no point worrying about it.

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LordXavierBritish

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I live in a constant state of agony where silent tormentors invade my waking thoughts with deep tendrils of doubt and confusion as they burrow into the most private caverns of my mind and  thrust upon me dark deeds to be carried out in their name of their immortal lord Thyly'glrys'ryae so that he may one day regain the full glory of his wizened form and tear through the thin veil that separates our world from the world of nightmares. Upon that day he will once again cast the universe into an eternal haze where entities of free will are reduced to shambling husks and the essence of life itself is broken and reduced to but remnants, never again to return to its former glory as death envelopes all and the very idea of hope is overcome by the terrifying whiteness of a mind that knows not even the very concept of thought. 

The dental is amazing though.

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blackbird415

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Edited By blackbird415
@Axxol: haha. Things effect people in different ways. Some more than others. Things happen to others stronger. We're all different on many levels. Our bodies are made differently to handle different things better and worse than others. I chuckled at the addition of the crab dragons.
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BraveToaster

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Edited By BraveToaster

 I don't know why this made me laugh. 
 
Everyone has felt gloom sometime in their life. I think it's part of growing up. Some people get over it, while other's kill themselves and/or others. Tis the way of the Crab Dragons.

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Lemoncookie01

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Edited By Lemoncookie01

Every now and again I  get hit with bouts of Depression;Nothing I can do but wait it out.

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blackbird415

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Edited By blackbird415
@pwnasaurus: Yeha I understand, but when I say depression I mean including on a physiological level. Sleeping alot. Loss of appetite. memory loss. etc. etc. All part of lyme disease too though. 
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fisher81

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Edited By fisher81

Good for you man. Allow me to try to tell that to myself.

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dtat

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Edited By dtat

Good for you dude! Yep everyone has those times. I know I have.
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pwnasaurus

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Edited By pwnasaurus

no offense but everyone feels down sometimes also cool story bra.

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blackbird415

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Edited By blackbird415
No Caption Provided
 
 
Hi people of Giantbomb. My name is Brian and I'am currently a college student residing in Colorado springs, Colorado. For the longest time I have struggle with the whole concept of self worth. Many days I have questioned why I get out of bed in the morning. Why do I even exist and whats the point of it? Other times i'll feel fine. Things aren't going terribly for me and really haven't been other than Lyme disease, but I still struggle at times with the concept of success. At times its been hard to see even where I'm going in my life. 
I think as college rolls on i'am just now getting used to myself again. Some days really feel like nothing more than dreams. It can get depressing after a while, but I'm getting back to being on the positive side and in doing so things are going better. I'm socializing more slowly, but surely.  I'm helping friends with their problems whether simple classwork or personal and thats fulfilling. Thing is I felt gloomy this weekend and it threw me off. Depression hit and its hard to battle. Watching the whole season of Louie didn't help either. Things look better already though and its very nice to get reassurance from friends and people around me in general. Things are starting to look up again and with time and self awareness things can stay that way.
 
Have you had moments of darkness and gloom?  
What did you do to fight it? 
Do you still feel at times that you don't know what you can contribute to the world?