41 Comments
Edited by Anund

Let him know. Oh yes, and also what the guy below me said. My eyes are bleeding.

Edited by Funkydupe

Ahhhhhh 'tis poison for my eyessssszzzzz... Paragraphs man. Paragraphs! AKA. Divide some of that text to give it some air or you'll suffocate it to death.

edit: Thank you, good sir. You should always be open about stuff like this. Your friend deserves to know about it. Wouldn't you want to know about it if this was concerning your girlfriend? Hope it works out okay for everyone involved.

Posted by Bwast

The thing is this isn't 100% conclusive. It's not like I walked in on them fucking. I could tell him and it could turn out be false and I've fucked up their relationship and lost 3 friends. There's just a lot of weird stuff that seems to lead to this conclusion.

Posted by psylah

Definitely tell him, so they break up.

Then you can pick him up on the rebound.

Posted by Ghostiet

Confront her.

Posted by leebmx

I would watch the fuck out until you are certain, and then I would go to Man 2 before you go to Man 1. It just puts you in a shit position because if you don't tell then when your friend finds out he is going to be pissed off that knew all this time (if it is true).

I would try and provoke a confession from his girlfriend or the cheater by confronting them rather than out the whole situation yourself, but remember there is nearly always more to a situation like this than meets the eye. But my bet would be to have it out with Man 2 before going to your friend. Just explain you suspcions and see how he reacts. Then at least if nothing is going on you haven't put the destructive seed of doubt into your friend's mind.

Posted by AlexanderSheen

If you have decisive evidence that they're have a relationship, then fuck yes! But if you don't have that evidence and open up about what you saw to those 3, that could backfire if you can't prove to man1 what you think is going on and just make the two more secretive plus they will know that you know.

Posted by Ducksworth

So is the original name of that God Of War: Ascension trophy appropriate in this context or is that phrase completely politically incorrect now?Everyone has already given solid advice. Confirm that your suspicions are true, ask them to come clean or inform your bro yourself.

Edited by Funkydupe

@bwast said:

The thing is this isn't 100% conclusive. It's not like I walked in on them fucking. I could tell him and it could turn out be false and I've fucked up their relationship and lost 3 friends. There's just a lot of weird stuff that seems to lead to this conclusion.

Sharing your information and your concern/suspicion (because that's all this is right?) isn't lying to your friend. You got the feeling something was off about them and I'd share that with him, then at least your conscious can be clear about this going forward. It is far worse than not sharing it. He'll be aware of your concern and he can do what he wants with that info; disregard it, confront them, watch them more closely from now on or whatnot else, that's his business.

bwast: @ghostiet and @leebmx has presented the better approach I think. Do some subtle digging on your own first, or confront Man 2 about it and see what that amounts to. These situations are awkward to navigate when there isn't much to go on. I agree.

Edited by Pikawai

Why not ask the girlfriend? Confront her and see her reaction? If she admits then tell her to be honest with man1, that it isn't right to let him being sad over their problems and to just leave man1 and be with man2. If she doesn't admit it then perhaps you should have a long gentle conversation with man1? You are his friend and he deserve to know. Also man2 betrayed your friendship that's as disgusting as her cheating on her partner.

I'll never understand cheaters! Why don't they just leave if they don't love or feel attraction to their partner anymore?

Posted by Donkeycow

I would advise you talk to man 2 first actually. You have enough evidence that if you confront him with it he may come clean, at which point you tell man 1. But at the moment you can't be certain anything is going on, and if you tell man 1 you may just be needlessly putting a divide in their relationship.

Posted by MikeFightNight

You know this stuff is hard to deal with, I've had a friend go through it. It's easy to say just tell him, but thinking about the aftermath is always a good thing.

Now it sounds like you are 100% sure of her infidelity? Ok it also sounds like Man1 knows things are on the rocks, he probably just doesn't want to admit it. My friend is now divorced from his wife, she cheated on him. Luckily they did not have children. But talking to him now is enlightening. He says he knew things were not right, he just couldn't believe she was cheating. He told me his brother approached him about his wife's cheating but he didn't believe it. He said he was so wrapped around her finger that he shot the idea down and it kinda of drove a wedge in their relationship. He was in his own world, that now looking back he see's how blind he really was. He and his brother are now friends again so thankfully she didn't ruin that relationship.

Okay aftermath. So they broke up, he had heard rumours of her cheating, but no hard evidence. He had really just broken up because they weren't getting along, thing's had changed. Then one of his close friend calls him to talk, he needs to tell him something. So face face, he tells him he slept with his wife. He says he wasn't the only one, their were others. He was dumb struck. More so by his friend who was telling him this out of guilt and wanted forgiveness. I really don't know how he didn't beat the shit out of him right there, but he held it together. Worst part, he had signed papers just earlier, he realized now he could of dragged her through the mud and she would of got nothing. But he just wanted to sign that shit and be done with it. Also, his "friend" still texts him now wanting to hang out, WTF!?

Anyway, I won't tell you what to do, as no one here is in your position. I just wanted to share and let you make your own decision.

Posted by Sgtpierceface

I would suggest telling man1 exactly what you've told us. Don't say anything as a-matter-of-fact-ly . Just tell him what you know.

Edited by Colourful_Hippie

If you have proof, tell him.

Posted by Gamer_152

@pikawai said:

Why not ask the girlfriend? Confront her and see her reaction? If she admits then tell her to be honest with man1, that it isn't right to let him being sad over their problems and to just leave man1 and be with man2. If she doesn't admit it then perhaps you should have a long gentle conversation with man1? You are his friend and he deserve to know. Also man2 betrayed your friendship that's as disgusting as her cheating on her partner.

I think this is sound advice, seems like the best way to deal with the situation.

Moderator
Posted by Marcsman

The bro code requires & demands that you tell him. Or you just are not his bro.

Edited by Milkman

Definitely confront Man 2 about it first before going to Man 1.

Edited by BabyChooChoo

@sgtpierceface said:

I would suggest telling man1 exactly what you've told us. Don't say anything as a-matter-of-fact-ly . Just tell him what you know.

This. He's your friend. Fucking talk to him. Don't get me wrong, I know this shit ain't exactly an easy topic to bring up, but let's assume you're right. The sooner he gets out of that relationship (or fixes it or whatever), the better. If nothing is going on, then, well, nothing is going on and everything should still be cool between you guys.

Just be careful how you address this. If you go in with guns blazing all like "she's cheatin on you, homie!" then there's the chance for a bit of bad blood. If you go in cool, calm, collected and just say "This is what I saw and I don't want to start anything, but I'm just telling it like it is," then I would hope at least he understands where you're coming from.

Online
Edited by Ravenlight

Sleep with all of them. It's the only way to get over the sexual tension in your group.

Posted by casper_

yeah i would not get involved with confronting either the girl or man2 i would just try to tell man 1 exactly what you know as calm and collected as possible.

i definitely wouldn't go to man 2 or the girl and scream I KNOW WHAT YOUR'E DOING because catching people in heinous acts can lead to them making irrational/emotionally driven decisions and possibly make it a lot harder for man 1

Edited by Jams

Edited by Slag

You need to be very careful if you are going to get involved. Since they have a kid together it makes this a lot more complicated.

Man 1 may already know/suspect and is trying to save the relationship for the sake of their child, you don't want to be the reason Man 1 loses access to his kid. Since it doesn't sound like they were ever married he probably won't have a lot of leverage in making sure he has custodial access if she just leaves him.

Posted by Subjugation

If I were man 1 and you were still you, I'd want you to let me know what you know rather than keep me in the dark. Then I could come to my own conclusion.

Posted by NucArc

The best thing to do is let man1 know but shits going to get real bro.

Posted by crusader8463

If my friend knew my girl was cheating on me and I found out he never told me that friendship would be hurt forever. Try to get as much proof as you can and tell him. Even if you can't get any proof tell him you think something is up and why, and just try to keep an eye out. Unless he's an idiot he will understand you are just looking out for him.

Posted by jozzy

Jeez, you are in quite the pickle. My plan of action would probably be:

  1. Ask Man 2 if something is up, but don't directly tell him you know (because you don't 100%)
  2. If he doesn't really open up, ask him about the weird situations during the vacation: the phone calls, and the text you think you saw
  3. If you are not happy with the reaction, go to man 1 and try to carefully tell him what you think you saw
Edited by Dave_442

How do you know the message he was reading on the plane was from your mates girlfriend?

I'd say keep it to yourself until you actually know anything is definitely going on. Then if there is something going on present the evidence to the shitty mate/girlfriend and tell them to confess or your going do it for them.

Posted by Bwast

@dave_442: Her name was attached to it.

I've decided to tell man1 what I know tonight. I'll fish around first, see how the relationship is going, maybe he suspects infidelity as well. Then I'll come forward with my suspicions.

Edited by Dave_442

Ouch, then just tell him what you know - not what you think you know. Let them figure the rest out.

If you sincerely think there's something dodgy going on I guess your doing the right thing - sucks that they have a kid though.

Good luck dude.

Posted by Bwast

I just told him. He was already suspicious of them and had already confronted her about it. So in the end I wasn't really telling him anything new.

Thank you everyone for the advice.

Edited by Jams

@bwast said:

I just told him. He was already suspicious of them and had already confronted her about it. So in the end I wasn't really telling him anything new.

Thank you everyone for the advice.

haha anti-fucking-climax if I've ever seen one.

Edited by cmblasko
@bwast said:

I just told him. He was already suspicious of them and had already confronted her about it. So in the end I wasn't really telling him anything new.

Thank you everyone for the advice.

That's it? No ultimatums or big fight outside of a Denny's or nothing?

Edited by golguin

Crisis averted. At least for you.

Posted by Demoskinos

Kratos says Bros before... but..er seriously you should say something to him if he finds out that you knew when he eventually finds out himself later and didn't tell him that... could be bad. So just be up front about it.

Edited by Fredchuckdave

Magnum PI

Posted by Canteu

Kidnap the girlfriend, and see if Dave comes to the rescue or if Jim does. Conclusive proof if I ever saw it!

(i named man1 Jim and man2 Dave, because who the fuck uses man1 and man2 to keep anonimity? I've never seen that in my life)

Posted by Picsl

Send it to Bill@theMMpodcast.com

He'll tell you what to do in the best/worst way possible (in podcast form)

Edited by OfficeGamer

Thank you for this fantastic dinner story that I totally read while finishing my dinner, how much do I owe?

Posted by Sander

Send your best friend an anonymous message: "She's getting fucked good. By another man. Sorry"

Send her an anonymous message: "I have photos of you and him. Secret's out so you better tell him or I will"

Posted by JasonR86

Real talk; if I were in that position I wouldn't do anything unless I were put in a position that I couldn't ignore it (like if she were kissing the other dude in front of me). IF that alternate case had happened I would tell her to either tell him, break up with him, or I'll tell him. But baring that scenario, I wouldn't say shit.

Edited by h0lgr

Goddamnit gentlemen, where's the Giant Bomb Girlfriend Advice Hotline picture?!
On a more serious note, man this situation sucks. People suck.