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cornbredx

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The Top 10 Worst Games I played in 2016

I played a lot of games this year ya'll. These are the games I felt were terrible.

I realized when writing this that there wasn't quite as many as I thought previously, but there was still more than 10 games I totally hated this year (if you're curious I played a total of 106 games this year and I have lowered my backlog significantly because of this- it's doubtful I'll be able to do that ever again).

The same as my best list these are not necessarily from this year (in fact very few are). They could be last year, or they could be from 20 years ago. I just never played them before this year.

List items

  • Another banger from Spiders. This game was gifted to me for no reason by my Mom. She plays video games but she doesn't know anything about them. She just gifted it to me.

    This is the worst rip off of Mass Effect I have ever played. The combat is awful and does not feel good to do. I'm not even sure they like... made any attempts when beginning design work on this game to find the fun in the game before actually going ahead with it. From quick looks I've seen of other Spiders games I don't think they ever care if the game they're making is actually fun.

    The crafting is as tedious as it could possibly be (I hate crafting in general, though), the movement doesn't feel right, and the game is ugly.

    The dialogue was written by a two year old. It's awful. I get it. They don't speak English natively. Guess what. The professional thing to do would be to write and perform it in the language you speak. If you can't afford real american actors, do not put attempts at English in your game. It's laughably bad and I would have played the whole game to laugh at how stupid it is every time they open their mouths to speak jibberish talk that only an alien would think makes sense except the game is just not good to play through and I have too much to do.

    This game is awful. Stay far far away.

  • What trash. What a horrible horrible travesty of a game. I have this game because it came in a humble bundle. It's part of the FEAR franchise after all. I played all the FEAR games again this year because this one was in my backlog (I never played this one before) and the first FEAR is a fantastic game. Turns out that while it has aged it's still one of the best First Person Shooters ever made. It's not really scary anymore, but it still feels really good to shoot these guys. Their AI routines are also still phenomenal to play against.

    FEAR 2 is a consolized shooter. It feels alright, but it was never as good as the original FEAR and shockingly it looks significantly worse. It has none of the amazing graphical settings the first game has and is an awful port (I played these games on PC). I originally played this on 360 so there I probably didn't notice how awful this game looks especially in comparison to FEAR. It's incredible.

    It also just feels dumbed down in every way. It's not scary at all (although it tries to be), and it relies way to much on robots (getting in those robots and going on a shooting gallery). In comparison to the first FEAR, still, it's a terrible game. It does not hold up at all. You could play it, but I suspect if you even liked it a little bit when it came out you would hate it now.

    FEAR 3 is an abomination. It has nothing that made the first two games even interesting. It doesn't even seem to know what these games are, or what they were ever trying to be. It's an awful cash in attempt made by imbeciles. Why would you put a cover mechanic in a first person shooter you dumb dumbs. Guess what. When I want to take cover I duck behind something. Cover mechanics only work in 3rd person. In first person all your doing is taking more control away from me.

    The AI is stupid as crap in this game. It gets behind cover and just constantly shoots at you. It doesn't really bother doing anything else. Almost exactly like a shooting gallery at the fair.

    This game is trash. Just forget its existence. The people who worked on this game should be ashamed of themselves.

  • I reviewed this on Steam. It's also pretty bad, and I don't really want to rehash that review, but suffice to say this game is barely a game. It's only a game because of the few times you actually get control (maybe two or three maps in the game). The shooting feels fine, but that doesn't mean much because the guns are "futuristic" and therefore don't feel like you're shooting a gun.

    I can say that the acting is top notch. If you came to watch a cheesy action flick with likable characters then this game has that, and to top it off a fantastic "Kevin Spacey is the political bad guy using the ideals of the bad guy from Watchmen" performance. However, it is a video game and that part of this is awful and not fun. It's barely even there.

    There is also no one playing multiplayer on PC. You can sit in the lobby for hours and not get into any game. I know people play these for the multiplayer, and that's fine, but if there's a single player that has to be good too.

    Anyway I only played the single player and it was awful. Skip it.

  • I'm a big fan of Donkey Kong Country. I loved those games (except the 3rd one and now this one). This game, however, I hated. I couldn't completely put my finger on it, but something is missing from this game that the classic ones had. It seems to have all the right stuff, but a certain charm those games had is completely missing from this game.

    I also am not a fan of the art style just being CGI now. It doesn't look as good.

    Also they have a ton of the mine cart shit from the first games that are the worst thing in those games and it gets to the point where it becomes impossible. Unless you want to die of an aneurysm skip it.

  • If you watch the quick look you already know this game is terrible, however I got it because it was in a humble bundle some years ago. It's terrible. The mechanics are ok I guess, at least in theory, you upgrade your guys like most games these days and you fight through levels, and it can be drop in co-op. The thing is there is very little passion behind this game. It's incredibly generic. They say a lot these days that a game feels like they just checked all the boxes and put a game out. That's what this game feels like. We used to call it "workman." They just did what they had to, and put it out. To top it off I'm not sure who's bright idea it was to make this game look all brown and grey but they should be whipped a few times. It's dull to look at and at some point you stop wasting your time with it. The game is awful, dull, boring, and generic. It does nothing interesting and doesn't try to.

  • This is the sequel to the genre creating classic from 1995. All of these games were made within a year or so of each other. It was a very short development cycle so very little technically changes from each game (there are three, 2 and 3 are awful awful games). The problem with these games was always the controls. The controls are clunky and tedious. They always have been- even when the first game was brand new it was still awful to control. You overlooked that because the atmosphere felt abrasive. Obviously this doesn't hold up so the flaws are glaring. I tried playing Alone in the Dark 2 and 3 this year for a blog series was I started a couple years ago that I legitimately wanted to finish.

    They are awful games. The controls are real bad, and 2 and 3 expect you to play with expert efficiency. Have fun trying to control this tank as a zombies blasts right onto you. You'll die over and over and over because killing stuff takes so long for you and not very long for them. Ugh.

  • I hated this game. The story is stupid, the acting is awful, and the puzzles were nonsense. Half the time I could not figure out why I was even supposed to do stuff. My understanding is the version I have (I got it from GOG) is the US version and the US version is changed some how from the UK version, but I don't know. I played what I played and I played it this year for the first time. I thought it was really bad, and did not have a very interesting story.

  • I reviewed this on steam and it's another one that seems controversial. I really wanted to like this game more than I did. It just doesn't do enough. The mechanics of the game changing ordinary world objects into hyper dimensional platforms is interesting. The surreal nature to the game is clever. However that is all there is to the game, and if all you want is the surreal visuals you can just look up screen shots on google.

    Unfortunately to top that off the story has a moral that is highly suspect. As a abuse victim myself I get it. I get what those feelings are, but the game implies you have to give up. That is never acceptable.

    To say more would be to spoil, and I don't like to spoil stuff, but I don't recommend anyone play this game. In the end it's not worth it for a few cool looking designs and a bad moral.

  • This is a game that actually came out in 1996. Even then, though, it's a little unclear as it's sort of a port of an arcade game (Thayer's Quest), but it was changed in the port because Rick Dyer said that the game was "Too 70's". They also "improved" animations, visuals, and puzzles.

    I don't know. I don't think the visuals were improved, as I remember Thayer's Quest looking significantly better than this game looks. I could be wrong.

    Also there just isn't very much to this game. It takes maybe an hour to finish, and feels really unsatisfying. I wasn't sure if I had actually finished it or did something wrong.

    It's similar in style to Dragon's Lair, but they added a inventory system, which is cool, however the items are kind of arbitrary and you have to collect these spells but for no reason really (other than to attempt to extend the game play) you have to wait for Merlin to finish making these spells you need to collect as well.

    That's kind of all the game is. Arbitrary.

    To shortly get back to the animation real quick I found that disappointing as well because there is so little of it. Obviously they reuse a lot of animations, but this came out in 1996. They could have done so much more with it. It feels like there is less unique video than in Dragon's Lair.

    It's an interesting historical artifact at this point, and I absolutely do recommend it for that alone, but as a game it's not very good. Even at the time I would have to say this would not have been very good.

  • I was so disappointed with this. I don't know why, but this year I found some things I used to like I just could not stand anymore. I still like The Longest Journey, but I may not be able to play it ever again because when I played it this year it started to get a bit long in the tooth about 3 quarters of the way through (and I've played it many times so maybe I've played it too many times I don't know). Then I played Dreamfall and while I don't remember liking it that much in the first place I still very much don't like it as much, but also I just don't like the new character (Zoe). I think she's an awful character, and I don't like how the other characters changed, and so many things about the story in that one were horribly written. It was just a terrible game this time.

    Even worse, I had expected to really enjoy coming back to this through Dreamfall chapters. I even really wanted to back the Kickstarter when that was a thing, but I just didn't have the money at the time.

    I'm glad I didn't. I know that a few million dollars in terms of making video games IS NOT ENOUGH. Not in terms of small scale indie projects (1 or 2 people), but in terms of studios it will not be enough and for this it was really apparent. For hours on end you will be in the same location running back and forth just talking to characters for waaayyy waaaaayyyy too long. Zoe's boy friend in this was a total douche, and I hated him so I made it so him and Zoie broke up and he went to some far away country and died or something. I hated him and made sure that happened, which is kind of cool, but I felt like I was supposed to like him.

    I didn't... I really heted that douche and I'm happy he died.

    I still don't like Zoe, but she's slightly better in this one. I just felt like the game really drags. It heavily relies on dialogue so you don't have to do much because there actually isn't a whole lot to do. There was far less puzzles in this one and to top that off the last episode took like 7 months to come out.

    I just gave uip on it. I had too much to do and I wasn't having fun playing this.

    It's #10 though because it's definitely not the worst game I've played this year. There were a few good parts (shit bot, the lady Zoe worked for at the garage type place, the hot dog cart lady and what happened to her in my story) there was some good stuff that I like in a Longest Journey story, but... I don't know. Maybe I've just outgrown what this story wants to do but I found this game waaaayyyy too talky, not enough likable characters (the likable characters interestingly have the least amount of dialogue) and just over all not enough things I found very interesting.
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