Dan

"MadExponent said:

"They always add in a theatre mode in the Sub- version of the game.  They needed it in the MGS4 the first time, but they have to give people a reason to rebuy the game."

I am still curious if they will bring out a re-release of MGS4. I have both Substance and Subsistence but paying for another copy of MGS4 when I already bought the LE for $85 is a bit much... And I don't know what they could put in it that would be worth re-buying it again.
"

How about we don't give being a GiantBomb user a retarded name. Grow up.

Gametrailers also gave Resistance 2 some FPS awards, which is just ridiculous. The game looks terrible. The graphics aren't good, the animations look canned, I know from resistance 1 that the guns are going to be terrible.. The whole premise is pretty blah. It wouldn't bother me so much if there weren't so many fantastic FPS games at E3 this year. Otherwise I mostly agree with their choices, but End War probably deserved bigger dues

A commercial success? It was effectively the death of an entire genre! One of the biggest tragedies fo the gaming industry. What a fantastic game, so unique and stylish, but no it didn't catch on and I'll be bitter about it forever

Does it have to be between the two? Because as much as I loved both systems in the 90s, I think the PS2 surpassed them both a good while ago. And I don't think the PS2 will hold the crown forever either.

That's funny.. I don't feel very owned. I feel.. I feel.. like I'm still just sick of WW2 shooters.

VER 0.2.1b

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Disclaimer

-This document is (c) Dan "Da_Real_DAN" Daniels. **All rights reserved.** You are encouraged,
however, to add your own suggestions!

- Da_Real_DAN

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  CONTENTS 
  -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
  I. Advanced Tactics

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THATS ALL FOR THIS VERSION, CHECK BACK FOR MORE
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  I. ADVANCED TACTICS
  -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

CUTLERY/...................Don't be fooled. Though sometimes you may be presented with a 
knife and fork when eating a burger at a restaurant, these are a red herring that the 
developers left in for beginners. To maximise your efficiency, learn to grapple the burger 
with your hands.

THE REVERSE/...............The underside of the burger is thinner and weaker than the top
side. To prevent the spillage of vital burger juices or the breakup of this 'underbap', turn
your burger upside down to eat it. It's less messy, and more practical!

THE NAPKIN/................A thin paper square, intended to wipe up errant juices or catch 
food on your lap, can be put to more efficient use by the experienced player by clasping it 
around your burger during consumption. For when your sloppy joe is too sloppy to just rely
on The Reverse alone

THE SQUEEZE/...............Sometimes you'll encounter a tall burger. Later in the game, 
they can become double or even triple layered. The Squeeze is a maneuver that requires great
precision. By applying pressure on the top and bottom of the burger, you can compress it to
a more manageable bite-size. The downside is that without due care and attention, you can
incur accidental content-ejection from the rear of the burger. The skill comes in balancing
the pressure evenly accross the front and the back of the burger.


....

It takes 119.5 seconds to grill a perfect burger. The grill has to be hot and clean. The grilling angle has to be perfect. Then the patty has to be straightened. Once the first part of the grilling is finished, it's set down. They call it the tingle of anticipation. This lets all of the oils settle, giving it a nice meaty head. Then it has to be topped off, so the burger is flipped and grilled backwards. This time is used to measure and appreciate the salivation of the customer. The final step is to bap it and wrap it and set it down, 119.5 seconds achieved, perfect burger delivered. Any more, or indeed any less? Unforgivable.

It is often assumed that the hamburger is unhealthy. Often the portrait of obesity in western culture is painted by the media with beef paint on a sesame bun canvas, but no. These people are misguided, skewed and slanted, biased and dangerously so. It is true that in the hands of the evil, the hamburger can be a fatty food, but the real culprit here is not a man's lust for life, but rather his distaste for exercise afterward. With that established, let me tell you about the day the hamburger proved positively healthy for me. The day the dusty baps of life were so nearly harrowingly made soggy.
2005. Night time now, and it was raining. I was making the daunting journey from town to home via public transport, having just been to see a local band play in concert. My ears had been rendered useless under a loud drone from the show, and the rest of my senses were rendered wankered from the excessive alcohol. Poor form already, but my night was over and I was due some rest. The bus, the last of the daily service, delivered me to as near my destination as its path wished to lay and then it was gone into darkness. Except that it had not placed me where I had intended. In my weathered state, I had stepped out into some unknown place instead. Unsure, I began to walk.
It was there that I was assailed. To my horror, two beefy men had jumped me, two real greasers with meaty fists, quarter pounded me in the dark. "Where's your money? Your wallet? Give us your greens." they grilled me, saucily. My attempts to plead with these seedy characters did not cut the mustard, in fact they seemed to relish it, and they held a knife to my throat. It was then that the darkness yeilded a new, third figure. He appeared suddenly and exploded into action, throwing my assailants to the floor. I could not believe my eyes, this was no man before me. He had two parts bread, sesame seeds and patty, and he was enormous. Could it have been a costume? I assumed as much at first, but something kept me doubting. The smell. The air had become fragrant, and appetising. Why would his costume smell so real? And as I strained my eyes to see in the dark, where were his arms and legs? By this time, the muggers had been chased away. I turned to thank my saviour, but when I turned to face him he had dissapeared. Confused and feeling the bite of the cold, salty night air, I found my way home.

So I say we demonise the hamburger no further, though certainly he moves in mysterious ways. He could do for you immeasurable favor one day.

I don't think Zero Punctuation has been very good for quite a while. And given the new intro/outro garbage, it looks like it's only downhill from here. Yahtzee needs to break from The Escapist and come up with a fresh format.
I also don't think I've ever agreed with any of his reviews, but I give him muchos credit for having a keen sense of humour.