Recon mission at work today
By foggel 7 Comments
Man, did I feel like a bad ass. I was like a spy in the movies, because of what I did. Recon, intel acquisition, espionage... call it what you will. Bottom line is that from this day on, I am special ops. My job is the best.
Ok, so I work at the local airport as a security guard. I meet at 6 in the morning, make sure people don't bring their precious soap into the planes, get 10 minutes coffee breaks every hour and go home. I know, it sounds awesome. But today it got even better :D I went in the security control when my boss said to me "get a walkie" I was like "sir?" and then he commanded me "THAT WAS AN ORDER!" then I firmly said "SIR!" and ran off to get a walkie. When I got back he told me that we got a situation. Some weirdo with MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS went through. And even more: His hair was... CURLY. He probably even smelled bad too.
After a brief description of who the man was, I went off. Into the wilderness of the public airport. Where liquid containers over 100 ml are priced higher than gold, and the only place where you can see whole families running like their lives were depending on it. Liftoff deadlines is not a joking matter.
I have watched a lot of Burn Notice, as well as James Bond movies and others in the genre. So I knew that I could not act all cool, showing people that I am currently looking for a tall male in his thirties. I needed to blend with the enviroment. Spy style. Although, it suddenly occured to me that I was in uniform. And every person in there was looking at me, wondering what I was doing. "Curses!" I cried out.
But I'm smart. I didn't let that stop me. Ofcourse, I cannot let this blow my cover, so I pretended I was on break. Checking out the scenery. Stating how fine the weather was today to random bypassers. Some smiled and confirmed, others stated that we were inside, and some looked at me wondering what the fuck I was trying to do. Cover blown. Shit. I realized that this was not common behaviour for security guard. So I needed a plan C. Luckily, I am a born natural, so that I knew that I had to improvise.
I needed to act like security guards do. Do what we normally do when we're keeping order. The only thing I COULD do not to stand out of the crowd: Nothing. Or more specifically, it had to look like, I was trying to look like I was working, when I am actually not doing a thing. In short: "Look busy, the boss is coming." So I ventured on, like a security guard would, trying to find a jew who is fond of african music.
Sadly this story has a rather anti climactic ending. I did not find the guy. A true escape artist! My boss was probably talking too loud, so that the bugs he planted caught our conversation, and split. Atleast I diverted a possible terrorist act.
Somebody give me a raise.