JeansJoe

I just finished playing a few rounds of Modern Warfare 2 with you.

I have to say it is a delight to play with fellows like you. Now most of you are pretty easy to discover. You have a level 70 prestige 10 account preferably with a rotating skull as emblem. Not all level 70 prestige 10 are cheaters, but... well, a lot of you guys are.

Of course you are on a noble quest! You don't cheat for fun or to show of your impressive skills. No you want to show everybody that steam sucks and that you can cheat VAC. Show Valve that you can hack the local hosted servers by using cheat maps that will instant level you, show all the other players that VAC sucks because you can give headshots all you want.

It is a true delight to watch you in the Killcam how you aim after me, wall after wall until you finally can draw a save shot when I show my head around the corner. Of course those are the noobs of cheating. The Pr0s will not look at you directly but just notice where you are and then wait till you are almost around the corner and then start to shoot.

Yes yes... aimbots are for loosers. Because true Pr0-haxx0rs only use a wallhack. That is enough and it still takes some skill to take the enemy team down. Or does it.

It is very obvious why you cheat. Yes I understand you! Everybody else on the server is just so gooood that you don't stand a chance without cheats. Well that is due to two reasons, some of the others cheat as well and you suck. Yes you suck. But of course you suck. Because you do not play the game how it is meant to be played. Yes I know you don't want to play the game how it was meant to be played because VAC sucks and Steam sucks and IWnet sucks...

But when you look at it the right way, actually it is just you who sucks. And you can't take it that you are not good at the game of the century. So you ruin the fun for everybody because your fun was ruined.

Well, good job mate.

Me and my friends still own your pants off and teabag you in your sleep. So I hope you get banned while I enjoy the game.

But since Valve and VAC really suck you probably will not get banned and continue shooting through walls.

And here is a lineup of good excuses if someone catches you cheating:

* look at my stats dude 16 - 8 !!! (true cheaters of course never die... yes. never die! *cough*)
* look at my rank (of course a level 16 prestige 3 rank must say that you do not cheat.)
* no (that is obvious)
* no its skill (? I know skill when I see it and I know how cheats look like. check youtube)
* 1on1 (what does that even mean? Since you cheat in 6on6 you wanna show me how you cheat in 1on1?)
* lol (same as "no". Only cheaters give those answers)
* you're a noob (can't argue with that... but I still play better than a cheater)

See you soon my friend.
1 in 30 is at least a cheater in Modern Warfare 2

I have to admit that I have not been following the Starcraft 2 development. I am not a huge fan of games like this any more. But I always enjoyed the singleplayer mode in Warcraft, Starcraft and Command and Conquer games.

 The installation of Starcraft is starting heads up with a little storytelling of what happened in the story so far. But when the games high-rendered and excellent cinematics start I begin to sigh. What is it with games these days that every cinematic has to be full of pathetic talk and steroidabusing characters that are supposed to be cool. Oh let's just throw a mustache in there and maybe some alcohol... Okay, Starcraft 2's level of pathetic does not even come close to the bullshit you hear in Modern Warfare too and it sure lacks Captain Prices mustache.

So I start the first campaign, a bit walking around. shooting one or two soldiers on the way - boom I'm done. What?

This took me 15 minutes? One campaign that included shooting ten soldiers and destroying five lousy buildings? And the story was not that big a deal. Okay the second campaign will sure be better.

I defend a base that is supposed to be soon overrun by the Zerg. Since nothing lifethreatening happens I decide to take my spare troups and take out the Zerg basis. The counter reaches zero and my patients is way below that. No hordes of Zerg attacking. Just tiny troops that don't even hurt my buildings. The cutscene revels a picture of horror. Out of a sudden in the cutscene my whole base is overrun. Luck for me - some gay dude with his spaceship rescues me from this hell of boredom.

The menus are probably supposed to be all new and flashy since you are in a ship or a bar and can click stuff. Oh you can watch news that... Never mind. They are a lame version of satire on the story. It seems that you can buy upgrades for units inbetween missions. And you can also gather intel on Zerg and Protos in missions. I suspect that you need these to unlock stuff later. Oh come on!!! Please, one game that just gives you a nice story, without steroid and drug abuse for the coolness factor! Please one game without the need to unlock every tiny unit.

I don't know if I want to touch this game again.

I don't know why. Please don't flame me because I don't go all crazy on a blizzard game... but compared to the time Blizzard spent on this game it seems to be rather mediocre. Some things look so polished you feel the need to vomit on them to get some grease back into the spaceaction.
The multiplayer in the Beta was quite fun. But then again it played a lot like what I remember from Starcraft 1.

Oh and you have to open the wallet big time for this one. It's an Activision price.

My advise for Blizzard:

Develop faster and take more risks. Otherwise all your games will be so polished and overdeveloped and nobrained like this one.

Title says it.

Is that game not registered yet?

I am just downloading a 320 Mb Update to Duells of the Planeswalkers - Magic the Gathering on PC. It actually gives me nothing and it is only for those people that want to buy the DLCs.

So what are the DLCs?
Well, you unlock Cards in this game for every round won with a certain card deck. If you are extremely lazy you now can unlock a whole deck for 1 €. Great thing. It takes about 2 hours to unlock the cards and you learn the game by playing it. If you glitch it it takes about 20 minutes for a deck.
But there is another type of DLC. Premium foil cards. Yes they are shiny and they look nice. But then again it is just a skin and it changes NOTHING in the game. In total you could spent a whole 22€ on the DLCs that you do not need because they do not change anything in the game.

There were somewhat similar DLCs for Killing Floor - but then again they were totally different. In Killing Floor you can buy character skins for about 2 € a pack. Now that does not change anything in gameplay as well BUT - and here comes a huge BUT: What you pay for the DLC is put into the development of a free Update that all players will get. So with buying the DLC you make sure the developers keep on developing maps for this game and fix bugs and glitches because you give them the ressources.
To be honest that was the smartest DLC model I have ever seen! Compared to paying 15 € for old Modern Warfare Maps or DLCs that change nothing in the game...

We are gaming in times where developers rather make money from a DLC than boost their names and products with free updates. Cheers!

The thing is once a vent is dirty you will not get it clean ever again. Once the noise start humming you have to replace the vent.

Take it to a repair shop and have them install a new one.

Oh my god watch out!

He has two pistols and two rifles!!!

That's gotta be a badass game.

I'm way too scared to buy this mediocre crap that Activision shits out every year.

Sorry for the language. I can't get over how people let themselves get screwed by this company.

The earth was flat until Chuck Norris blew it up.

Chuck Norris has read all Chuck Norris jokes. Twice.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris has played Duke Nukem Forever.

No game ships without a bug or glitch. If you look close enough you can find AI bugs, buggy textures or models and sometimes you can bug around the level.

What's your favorite bug / glitch?

Here's a list of my top 3:

1. The Saboteur: I found a soldier circling the other one for about five minutes. Then they both had an untimely end.
2. Red Dead Redemption: I attacked a cougar with my knife, he took of and ran away. I tried to catch him with on horseback but apparently he was too fast and seemed to have a goal. I followed him to the great river and he ran straight into it. Now that is one water loving cougar.
3. In Half Life 2 you can hit NPCs on the head with an object and they will reposition themselves on the next checkpoint in their script. If that would only work in real life.

Oh yeah fuuu...

That's the thing 14 year old counterstrike noobs used to say when I owned them.

Don't say it. anymore. never. seriously. Or you will never ever again get laid.

If you were a woodchuck and you could chuck wood, would you, being a woodchuck, chuck my wood?

or if you are with the force:

You don't want to sell me death sticks. You want to go home with me and rethink your life.

No srsly... Just say "Hi, I'm <insert you name here>." and let it go from there. Just don't mention her looks, politics, computer games, religion, or actually anything that is seid to be meaningful in life. Just chitchat about stupid stuff, look her deep in the eyes, make a sexual joke and she's good to go.