Darkness and Me
By Jeust 8 Comments
Darkness
Painfully wounded,
i crawl slowly
drunken with suffering
into my cave again.
My blood,
My blood pouring
in the ground
and decorating the wall
where I lean.
My armour was ripped
clean and suprisingly quick
out of my body
by the sudden and unexpected attack.
It wont kill me,
as death told me yesterday,
when my sleep did not come
and my heart was stopping.
Still I am alone,
in the darkness
created by nature
and men alike,
the one i carved
for myself
in the restlessness of my soul.
I wont die,
death told me yesteday
as it visited me
when my heart was ceasing,
as now is racing,
late at night.
I wont die,
death told me...
I wont die...
I won't die...
but i wish i did.
Well this probably my most depressing text i've ever written, and it will stay here if anyone wants to see it. I won't put in the forums at it would be ripped apart and built into a new one.
I met today my last ex-girlfriend for her birthday, and, although she didn't tell me, she brought some of our friends as i expected, and all of the distance i had put between us, was just not enough when she called someone with sweetness over the phone, and i was defenceless. After it i come to know the other distance that separate me from my ex and her friends, with new gags between them, and hidden messages... How everything had changed, and i felt i was the only one still the same. That really hurt me. I'm overly sensitive. That's my problem. One of the biggest at least.
From this sappy story, i come to understand that i have to leave, to leave where i am now, and find a place where i can feel free. The real problem is that there just aren't places like that, that offer freedom. While i wait the answer to present itself, i will lead my normal life.
Probably no one will understand my feelings... Still one can try.