@mast: There are two fallacies in your post.
1) You assume that talking about these issues somehow magically makes "games talk" go away.
2) You assume that the gaming community at large has any intention of denying females from "having whatever they want from games".
Female gamers are very welcome. Ill-informed, emotionally charged crusades and vitriolic tabloid journalism is not.
Here's an excerpt from an interview with Amy Hennig of Uncharted fame.
"Woman in a man's world: As one of very few women in senior creative positions in the video game industry, Hennig is often asked about sexism and challenges she has faced. But she says it's not an issue. "Usually it has been men who gave me the opportunities I have had. I think this is a young enough and progressive enough industry that there just isn't any of that."
But that doesn't mean her perspective as a woman doesn't come in handy on design teams dominated by men, including on Uncharted 2, which features two prominent female characters. "There was an issue with breast size sometimes. I would say to the modelers, 'Let's take it down. How about a C [cup]?' " http://articles.latimes.com/2010/feb/07/business/la-fi-himi7-2010feb07
And the latter point is her personal opinion. There are women, like Mariel Cartwright the lead animator of Skullgirls, who like "sexualised" depictions of female characters. Nothing wrong with it.
Makes you wonder why nobody ever mentions this in conversations about the matter.
What seems to be happening is that a vocal minority of people in powerful positions wants to establish their subjective views as a rule of how we are supposed to think about the various facets of gaming that they keep bringing up.
That's actually a really good post. I think I agree with all of it, even what you said about me. I especially like "Female gamers are very welcome. Ill-informed, emotionally charged crusades and vitriolic tabloid journalism is not." People need to really read that, think about it, and take it to heart.