Hey everyone, the clock has reached midnight and it's Tuesday... This is for me, because I am a selfish asshole who needs to find peace through writing...

I probably should have let the tears flow. I didn't, for whatever reason. I fought them, not letting a stupid single one pop out of my eyeballs, and now I'm struggling again. I've never met Ryan; he's never met me. We don't "know" each other. Why should I care so much about him? I've thought a lot about that question with that in mind. Why am I so affected his tragic and sudden passing?

I know why. Because I did "know" him. Years upon years of watching quick looks and listening to Bombcasts, watching On the Spot, reading and watching reviews I came to know Ryan and the rest of the people making giantbomb tick. I've spent the better half of today doing exactly that, watching old quick looks and laughing my ass off at Ryan with his infectious laugh. It's a real testament to his personality that he still makes me forget that something really bad has gone down, and it's been touching to see all of the love this man has received in his passing. He deserves every bit of it. He's brought a lot of joy into many, many lives.

I also do know the people of this site, even if they don't know me. They've made the internet another home for me. These people are the reason I'm interested in writing about and discussing video games. They have helped me discover my passion for the medium. As weird as it is, I'd always loved the idea of working with them, and it feels real bad to know I'll never have the chance to work with Ryan. We share a first name, and I've always found that to be neat for whatever reason. Ryan is a common name; it shouldn't mean shit, but for some reason it always did to me.

I offer my heart and sincerest condolences to those most affected by his passing, his wife and family, the giantbomb crew, and everyone else who loved Ryan. He didn't make it hard to do so and I can't imagine what you're going through.

Ryan was the best kind of asshole, so fuck Ryan Davis. Fuck that rad and bad motherfucker who left us all far too soon. I regret that I was never able to meet him. I know I would have been in for a treat. It's really hard to know just how much someone even as off as they distance they might be can mean to you. Ryan Fucking Davis will be missed, but he can and should Rest in however he damn well pleases.

Thank you Ryan Davis

*This has been tagged with Fuck Quest 2: Romancing the Bone because I typed "fuck" and didn't know that was a thing and its stupidly dumb*