I couldn’t tell you when it all began, where it began or why. One could analyze a life and suspect that certain points in time had a particular effect on you. But whatever the case was that made it this way, the truth of the matter is still the same. For me, tragedy is the highest form of love. Happiness is fleeding, content is gray, breaking up is irrelevant. But tragedy, it’s bittersweet. The reason tragedy holds such a high note for me is because it’s generally always mixed in with a heroic sense of sacrifice. Maybe that’s it. There is more though, it’s not just a warrior fallen on the battlefield watching the valkyres come down and bring him to Valhalla, that’s just heroic. For tragedy, that warrior needs a wife that cries by his side as he passes on. Though in a sense, that’s still a fairly light hearted form of this love of mine.

In some way, I think we all love things we fear. It’s the very reason people like to watch horror films or play games such as Dead Space. We want to provoke a certain feeling from ourselves that we may or may not feel on a daily basis. Some numb their senses to the point where they have been so abused they no longer react to those things. It is why people, such as myself, can watch Serbian Film with a group of friends and gleefully see them cringe over things I don’t react to. I don’t feel what they do, I just see a movie and experience it rather objectively. On the other spectrum, there are things I don’t face on a daily basis which in turn makes me react to those things the way they react to prior mentioned film.

Love.

Love is a sensation that I have had mixed results with. Most of my experiences are bad, ranging from being left without real warning to being worn down in a relationships with posessive, jealous and insecure individuals. The fact is, I sort of fear love. Not only is it an emotion I’ve acted stupid under, but also an emotion that has caused me much anguish and retroactive annoyance at my own lack of self respect. Naturally, I sort of always enjoyed romantic movies. Which is in some ways weird to hear a man say. But it’s always been true. Not that it was something I was waving around, it was my own secret. There was something special about seeing two people really connect. A sensation I never truly experienced. I can’t quite connect with people on a deep level, because I always distance myself to keep from being hurt whether I want to or not. And without sounding too much like an asshole, most people bore me after a while. And their problems, are tiring to listen to. But I make an effort, at least with people close to me. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have them there. And most of them know me well enough to accept a lot of my fallacies.

But what does that have to do with tragedy, love and.. video games?

There are plenty of ways, as I said before, people provoke their emotions. Experience things they may not always do. For me, romance that is coupled with tragedy always enhances the romantic part. Because if everyone is happy, I can’t fully relate. But I can relate to things that are damaged, dark and depressing. Tragedy in this aspect just means I’m experiencing love between two people, but something enter their lives and turn it up side down and brings about pain, misery and possibly death. Death. I don’t know if I have a morbid fascination with the idea of dying. As someone who don’t believe in an after life, death is pretty uneventful idea. But I think we all have an in-grown sense of wanting to be missed by someone. To have meant something to someone.

Alan, Wake up.

To bring this back to Old Gods of Asgaard, a fallen warrior is a heroic individual. But his loss is in some way counter balanced to his sacrifice as a hero. But in pure breed tragedy, there needs to be the sense that no one is gaining anything. It’s only really a painful loss for all parties involved. Playing through Alan Wake I found that it scratched that itch. Here we have a writer and his wife goinng on a vacation that turns surreal, but not before his wife is taken from him without remorse. And the entire game is spent trying to save her, yet in classic tragic ways, ignoring the well being of himself. Alan Wake had a lot of very interesting concepts and I wouldn’t hesitate to jump back into that world. And it’s interesting how well Remedy makes tragic games. Think back to the original Max Payne. Sure, we remember bullet time and flashy leather jacket and a big smirk. But what I remember the most was the killing of his family and how tourmented Max was throughout the game, to the point in which he’s following a blood pattern in nothingness to the soundtrack of a crying child. Alan and Max shares a lot of smiliarities, even down to dress code in some aspect. But what they do share the most is the loss of their loved ones by forces out of their control. One deals with psychadelic psycho drugs and the other exists in a surreal existance somewhere between reality and madness. But burn it down to it’s core and it’s simply only about the sadness and the fury in which we wallow in it.

Sorrow prophecy.

In a larger scope, tragedy and sacrifice has an appeal in the sense that if you’re acting heroic (like Max or Alan) due to tragic reasons, it always feels like it’s more honest than someone trying to uphold a sense of self righteous law. You’re working not to better something, but to make something right by the one you love. And putting it all backwards, I’ve always dreamt of being the person that sacrifice himself for his loved ones because I like to think I’m that type of person. The type that holds other people’s well being above my own. That may or may not be true, as I’ve come to realize I’m unattractively selfish. But perhaps just wanting to be something is more than enough to become something better than we already are?

Needless to say, my love for tragedy has many depths. And I am glad video games is giving me a chance to connect and experience certain emotions I’ll probably never experience in my daily life.

Closing comments.

I only mentioned Alan Wake and Max Payne here, but there are plenty of other games where tragedy strikes and death takes it toll on individuals in those games. But there are not many games that have that same love bond explained and relatable. And while in many games we lose friends and our allies dies at the hands of our enemies (goddamn you for killing Ghost, General Shepard), it’s a tragic moment that is of a different kind.

Maybe one day I’ll be laying on a hospital bed dying from something I ate and I can heroically look over at my then wife and tell her; ”Here’s looking at you, kid.” And I’ll make the moment seem like a million bucks until she asks what the hell I’m talking about and I’ll die frustrated that my wife doesn’t know about Casablanca. Probably also one of my favorite movies where the main character sacrifice his own needs for the greater good. Man, Humphrey Bogart was awesome.

But in the end, I think quoting the song The Poet and the Muse from Alan Wake is very descriptive;

”The poet came down to the lake to call out to his dear

When there was no answer he was overcome with fear

He searched in vain for his treasure lost and too soon the night would fall

Only his own echo would wail back at his call”

Community outreach.

So, I'm curious, on the topic of this, what is some of your gaming memories of loss/death or general tragedy?

Can video games portray love strong enough to be relatable such as in movies or is the game aspect of it too restrictive?

What are some other events of the human condition that you relate strongly to that may or may not be portrayed in video games today?