Wi-Fi Trading is Fucking Broken
By Romination 8 Comments
But you already knew that, DIDN'T YOU?! Now, I'm not saying that it's your fault, but that lump of guilt you feel forming in your guts says everything you need to hear. I remember when I learned about the first Pokemon for DS having Wi-Fi trading and battling. "That's perfect!" I thought. It's an actual evolution for the franchise, getting into the online world, and it's almost a dream come true. As I crawled my way through a wonderful new continent, marveling in the new Pokemon that gamboled about, I finally reached the Wi-Fi building and dove my ass right in, only to discover that
THIS SHIT IS FUCKING BROKEN
Not just regular broken. Not KIND OF broken. This is 'fucking' with a capital FU. I was on for 2 hours last night looking for a Spinarak. Let me list what is currently up for trade if you want to trade for this almost ridiculously common Pokemon.
- Male Meditite, Lv. 90
- Togepi, Level 100
- Slowking
- Darkrai, Lv. 100
- Male Lucario, Lv. 100
- Blaziken, Lv. 50 (it's a Lv. 1 Spinarak)
- ANOTHER Darkrai, Lv. 100
- Male Graveler, Lv 100
- Staryu, any level (...makes SOME sense)
- Mesprit
- Qwilfish
- Lv. 50 Male Steelix
- Lv. 50 Jirachi
- <Lv. 10 Chikorita
Are you kidding me? Really? I'd only do that if I had an extra Mesprit lounging around and was thinking to myself "I wish I could do something really stupid with this! How about a level 2 Rattata?" But since I'm not constantly downing Dumbass pills (I ignore my prescription), I don't see that happening anytime in the future.
And why can I only see 7 trades at a time?
It's adorable and all to see all the trainers sitting at the bottom of the screen and I can click them and giggle at all the Ace Trainers there are (ego), but the problem with this is that I only can see 7 people. I'm sure there's someone out there who wasn't hit over the head when they were looking to make a trade, and it would be nice to be able to flip through the,. Even if there's millions of people who are trying to trade away their Shuckle (NO ONE WILL TAKE IT), I should have some way to look through it, maybe in a list form. Here's an idea I just came up with that would be a lot more helpful: A list of desired trades for that Pokemon, in ascending order based on level of the Pokemon they're desiring. Then, on the top screen, there's the info for the Pokemon they're putting up to trade, and their trainer info. Then, I can further sort based on where they're from, what level I'm looking for, and what gender, like the game already has.
But let me keep blowing your mind with my awesome ideas
WHAT IF THE GAME ONLY SHOWED TRADES THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO MAKE. I don't HAVE a Darkrai, so I don't care who wants one. Hell, I want one too. The game has the ability to read into the Pokemon you have already, since when you click 'make trade' the Pokemon in question is highlighted. So why not base the entire trading screen on that? It should know what I do and don't have. I know it's been said that Japan doesn't get the internet, but some of this stuff isn't rocket science, you know. Why can't I sort based on multiple countries, either? What if I really want a mix of trades from Mexico and Japan? Outta luck, it's all or one. It's especially weird since I can look at trades from, say Beirut. Who's playing Pokemon, Wi-Fi, in Beirut? Exactly (well, if your answer is "no one", that is). It's just bogging down the menus to have so many options for such an archaic system.
But let's talk mathiness now
Pokemon's got math equations going behind the scenes all the time. Why not add another one? This one's for stupidness of the trade. See, what they can run is the commonness of the Pokemon that is being offered divided by the commonness of the Pokemon they want times the level of offered divided by level of wanted and something like that, and maybe something about the current popularity of the Pokemon offered. If it's within a certain range, they let you set up the trade, but if it's outside of that range, then it will send an error message, or at least a warning message, that the trade isn't fair or likely and may not get picked up. I ain't no mathologist, but I know that they'd be able to come up with something. That way, REAL trades would pop up, with a few weird outliers (Level 1 Bulbasaur for a Level 20 Raichu or something, I dunno), so that after several hours of searching, I won't have just 3 trades at the GTS over 2 games.
On the other hand...
Being able to download battle videos and trade with friends over the Wi-Fi is pretty good. In fact, if I had friends, it would be the best system since sliced bread. But I'm not here to praise. Who compliments on the internet? I'm just hoping that they manage to make SOMETHING better for Black and White. Really, what could be worse?