By Sarumarine 1 Comments
Tryin' to be a Cowboy (Set to the tune of Kid Rock's "Cowboy")
I bought a new game, it takes place out west,
where all the ladies come equipped with scripts and great quests,
Locate a gang in the hills, kill em' like Clint,
Find an old hot spot to play cards with gents,
Ima John Wayne it up and down the road,
lookin' out for gold, till the day grows old,
Then go find a killer killin' the most,
and shoot that sum-bitch until he's toast.
Sombreros in the sun, outlaws on the run,
Kill a dozen deer so I can buy a gun,
Get into some trouble,
I planned to steal a train until the game burst my bubble,
Rob a stagecoach driver cause I accidentally pressed Y,
And can't escape the law no matter how hard I try,
John Marston, he's the real McCoy,
But only in the cutscenes, cause I'm trying to be a cowboy, maybe.
(With the six shooter shootin' and the hot lead flyin')
(Spend all my time in and out of crime)
I'm trying to be a cowboy, maybe.
(Fightin' all right when the Dead Eye meter's gaining)
(I can get shot from a mile away!)
I bet you can't hear my horse when I ride on in,
It goes quiet like, cause it's shot dead once again,
Mean cops, mean gangs, mean around town all the time,
It once was bad luck, and now it's just mine,
Trains and plains, wild hogs and fights,
Far from the cities and the pity, forget dead to rights,
And if the slice is right, don't forget my knife toy,
It''ll be going multiplayer today cause I'm trying to be a Cowboy, maybe.
Yeah, cannon fodder you can call me dead,
Rollin' non stop into bullets aimed right at my head,
See me, holed up, in a corner reloading like molasses,
Going "Holy shit, faster!" I'll end up dead in Manassas,
Shotguns sing it, just wing it, buckshot filling the wall,
Call me slow, in the show, with speed set at crawl,
No remorse for other players, cause they ain't nice,
They're shoot your ass once, and rape your horse twice, boom!
Curses fear, no good will found here!
It ain't an online match till someone calls you a queer.
Slick like West Dickens, ride like Slim Pickens,
They tell me to run but, hey, I ain't chicken!
Why they gotta pick on me?
Shoot me up, steal all my EXP?
I ain't no jerk, just a regular player,
I pull like a Brad, but win like failure,
Curse like sailor? Talk like you're sick?
I bet half of these lines probably end with a dick.
Spend my half my time getting called out online,
But I'll be back to single player in a matter of time!