Ok, so I'm hardly an Insomniac, but it's currently 4:04AM and I can not sleep for the life of me. No matter how much I try I've got this burning sensation of guilt at the back of my mind that I just can't purge.

The reason?  I think it's time to give up on gaming.

Now, I know this sounds rash, and it sounds harsh but I havent really been properly enjoying my gaming for at least a good year now. I've mostly put it down to an increasingly poor quality of games being released nowadays combined with my increased jadedness towards gaming/life/well, everything.

I'm a student, (of games design funnily enough) so I have a lot of time on my hands to kill and only today did I sit down and work out that I play on average around 60 hours a week, which is the equivilent of a job! I remember I used to game for fun, but now I only really seem to bother for trophies and achievements. I know this is stupid, and it's a habit I should be able to break but I can't. For example,  I'd love to go back and play some more fallout 3, but with 100% of the trophies to be earned on there earned, I really don't see it as an option worthy of my time. Instead I'm forcing myself through all kinds of crap, just to increase a small digital number that no one but me really cares about.

Congratulations me, I offically have an E-Penis equivilant to Level 11 on PSN and Almost 40,000 Achievement points on Xbox live, but at the end of the day what is the point in it all? As time goes by I'm beginning to find myself becoming more short tempered, and not just games but also with my family and friends, I've put on weight for the first time in my life, weighing 15 stone at 6 foot 1, making me according to my BMI at least, overweight. It's also an expensive habit, I haven't actually gone into the figures, but in the last year alone I wouldn't be suprised if I had spent well over £1000 on gaming, which is an expensive habit for a student with no job.

I could be doing such more productive things with my time, learning how to cook properly, how to look after myself better physically and also increasing my skills as an artist and 3d Designer, something which should be my main focus in life if I want to get ahead in this career.

Now I'm not saying I should give up forever, but I should maybe cut down to about 6 or 7 hours a week at the very tops and at least have the self respect to play games purely for the fun of it. Fuck the figures, Screw the trophies and achievements, I'm going rouge.


I'd like to apoligize if this doesn't make much sense, or even read very well but a lot of what is written is all just pouring out of my brain at once, and it's pretty tough to get it all down, let alone in any kind of readable english (plus it being 4am probably doesn't help lol).

Anyway, thanks for reading this, if anyone has any advice on what I should do, or any words of encouragement I'd be more than happy to hear them.


Soap