Probably had my "worst" experience tonight with Dark Souls, after a great experience! It really showed me the highs and lows that the game delivers with brute force, something I'd not fully experienced yet after being generally pretty lucky with the game (or possibly I'm just a really good gamer haha...?)

For a couple of months I'd been stuck in a precarious position. If I ventured one way I found ghosts which sliced me to bits. Another and I found an endless maze of catacombs and respawning skeletons. And of course Sif, the great wolf in the Darkroot Hollow. However, I'd not put the game in my disc tray since the giant update. So I tried my hand at it and the new and improved summoning system. Almost immediately I was summoned and helped a guy kill the Hydra in the basin, and the butterfly thing in the forest. With my newly found humanity, I was able to finally summon someone to help me defeat that pesky wolf.

I made it to the bridge. Heart pounding I saw a summoning sign. Tentatively I began the process. I was in luck. The guy had super red robes on with long scythes and was pretty much impervious to magic. He bowed and I knew this, THIS would finally be the time I slew Sif. We crossed the fog door. And....

The last thing I saw was a giant wolf with a sword bounding towards me and kill me in one swoop. Sigh.

After a tiny bit of raging (another pen didn't make it to write another day after colliding with my office wall) I began the process again. This time I was summoned so I could collect humanity. It took two attempts but we finally killed the wolf. He offered to help me out too. We began so well. After about what seemed like 10 minutes of solid chopping and dodging, we took the beast down to a sliver of health. Then of course, I let my guard down for a second. And that was all that was needed for my head to be disconnected from my shoulders. SIGH.

The guy was a good sport though and we did it again. This time everything seemed to slot into place. Everywhere the wolf went he seemed to land on a sword. Before long he was dead. And in the immortal words of Sir Edmund Hillary, "We knocked the b*st*rd off!!" I was happy.

But after the great triumph, was a series of disasters leaving me finally feeling the sting Dark Souls has delivered to so many gamers...

On my way back I by chance looked up in a destroyed tower in the forest. Sitting on the window was a creepy cat! I instantly knew it was a new covenant. I took it. The cat spoke in riddles, but I figured it was protect the forest and if you wear the ring you get summoned to kill some other people. And something about not doing something which I skimmed. Mistakenly.........

I put the ring on and was transported to some poor lad who I attacked in the forest. He was dodging and weaving. Eventually I was joined by another and we cut him down. Great rewards too! I got back to my world and went to go visit the cat again. Then it happened. And by it, I mean accidentally attacking a forest worker (if you can call them that?). The action which made me want to repeat all my 40 hours of Dark Souls over. Covenant broken apparently. No comeback. Nothing. F*ck. So obviously I'd outstayed my welcome (with all the creatures swamping me it was kinda obvious...) I returned to Undeadsberg on the trail of "The Depths" which a friend had told me about. I never even knew they existed!

Still rueing my failed Covenant, I finally found the door to the Depths. I went through the areas without much hassle, except for getting lost many times and falling down numerous pipes (and those gross sludge things!). So I found the boss area, still human, summoned two of the knight spirits to fight for me, then proceeded on. "Aw, it's a cute lil drago-HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! WTF IS THA- IS THAT ITS MOUTH?????"

The cute dragon's mouth kept on coming out from the pit. Like literally the mouth was the length of its body. I was versing a mouth. With legs. So I fought it. And lost. About 20K souls and 2 humanity. The mouth jumped up and down on my head. No problem I thought, I'll come back, avoid the jump and kill it.

Halfway through making it back, I was invaded. I ran away, but thought "Geez, this is it!". But the guy was useless. I smacked him over like I was pimpin'. First time I'd been invaded, so it was interesting, but at the same time scary. Made it back to the mouth. Recovered my souls, now at about 30K and 3 humanity. Dodged the jump. Attacking attacking... Dead. The mouth apparently had a tail. Which hurt. I was down to a tiny bit of health, and then out of nowhere some magic bolt hit me and killed me. FUUUUUUUUU!

So now it was the usual gamble you get with Dark Souls. You keep adding 10K to the lost total each time you try to kill the boss, and it's a battle of wills between the game and your tolerance to just letting things go. I wasn't prepared to.

So I made it all the way to the last corridor before the mouth thing. And then the unthinkable happened. F*cking googly-eyed motherf*cking frog things zap me like they have before, except THIS time I die instantly and get cursed!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! 35K souls, about 6 humanities, and all that time and anticipation and I get killed by something the French eat. The French. Who are notorious for surrendering. I got killed by that. THAT. THAAAAAAAT!!!!

Now at a quarter health I then had to hand over 6K souls to some chick for some stupid stone which got rid of the curse. Then I gave up on the Depths.

So I lost my cat. Lost my souls. Got killed by a mouth and a frog. Worst. Dark Souls. Session. EVER.

But the funny thing is, I still love the game. And although it was the worst experience I've had, I enjoyed it. These Japanese people must be pretty damn sick to create a game which screws you over completely and have you somehow enjoy the experience. For some reason escaping the sewers was a sort of triumph for me that instilled a sense of pride. And that my pain was somehow being felt by gamers everywhere in the world of Dark Souls.

If ever there was a time: You win some, you lose some. Then you get killed by a frog. Deal with it...