• theuselessgod wrote a review of Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins.
    Mario's Best Game Boy Outing

    The ShortPros- Another fun, weird Mario game on the Game Boy- An overworld connects six unique worlds each with crazy new gameplay- The Rabbit Ears are a fun new Mario powerup to go alongside the fi...

  • theuselessgod posted a message in the forum topic Hey, we're hiring and stuff! on the General Discussion board.

    Whelp, I applied. I'm not exactly a tour-de-force in the community here (I prefer to lurk and write reviews), but here's hoping!

  • theuselessgod posted a message in the forum topic Hey, we're hiring and stuff! on the General Discussion board.

    @rorie I do have one question regarding cover letters on the resume page:Are you (or the GB crew) the ones talent scouting this, or is it going through CBS? I only ask because I imagine the tone of t...

  • theuselessgod posted a message in the forum topic Hey, we're hiring and stuff! on the General Discussion board.

    Wow, that associated editor job is like my dream job. And I actually have all the experience requested.*polished up resume**prays to the Bomb Gods*

  • theuselessgod posted a message on the post Yoshi's New Island Review.

    "Yoshi's Story was an abomination." - Patrick, 2014(I totally agree and love the hell out of Yoshi's Island, but man...Yoshi's Story was so bad. Why'd they use the same art from that?)

  • theuselessgod posted
    I'm back on Giant Bomb! They fixed the review form so now I can easily cross-post between GB and my Blogger. So expect more review...
  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Castlevania II: Simon's Quest.
    Great ideas, poor execution.

    The ShortPros- Feels like a grand adventure- Adds a leveling/currency sense of progression to the series- Attempts to give an open world, which oddly enough is believable- Has phenomenal music- Looks...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse.
    Dark Souls ain't got nothin' on this

    The ShortPros- Back to the linear Castlevania format- Graphics are a hybrid between the first Castlevania and Simon's Quest, and look fantastic- Music is kickin'- Four playable characters (three of w...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Super Castlevania IV.
    You've got to whip it. Whip it good.

    The ShortPros- It's like Castlevania, only SUPER!- We're back to Simon again in this...remake? Prequel? What is this game chronologically, anyway?- Graphics are pretty dang snazzy- Also, the music is...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Castlevania: Bloodlines.
    Best in Class

    The ShortPros- Brings back the regular, forward whipping Castlevania to the Sega Genesis- But wait! There's a bonus character, who has a multi-hitting spear!- New abilities like a power-spear vault a...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Super Hexagon.
    Ain't never gonna stop, them shapes, them shapes

    The ShortPros- Extremely addicting, difficult action game- Action game? Is this an action game? I'd say it's just like a reflex game- Seriously, the default difficulty is "Hard" and then it goes up t...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale.
    Old men and little girls are the worst.

    The ShortPros- A fun hybrid of shop management and action RPG questing- The translation is surprisingly entertaining and appropriately silly- Taking heroes on quests only to sell the best stuff they ...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time.
    It's about time. And also money.

    The ShortPros- The free sequel to the smash hit Plants vs Zombies- Did I mention it's free? That's a pretty big plus- Despite having microtransactions, the entire game can be beaten and is still fun ...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of BioShock.
    Still great, even in 2014

    The ShortPros- Dark, atmospheric shooter- World and setting are phenomenal and very interesting- Shooting that hybridizes guns and magic keeps things fiesty- Side activities like vending machines, ha...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons.
    A fantastic spectacle with a fantastic ending.

    The ShortPros- Beautiful world feels straight out of a fairytale- Unique controls that require no tutorials; you learn as you play- Achievements are clever and encourage exploration on an otherwise l...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of Long Live the Queen.
    It is...good? To be the queen?

    The ShortPros- A "reimagining" of the old Princess Maker games...but more violent!- Lots of varying events and activities help make multiple playthroughs different- Single playthrough is relatively ...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of DJ Hero.
    A decent game completely surpassed by it's sequel

    The ShortPros- Unique music game experience (mostly)- DJ Turntable is actually quite fun to use and fairly intuitive- Difficulty range means anyone from noobs to pros can have a challenge- Lots of s...

  • theuselessgod wrote a review of DJ Hero 2.
    Drop da bass, mon!

    The Short Pros- Same strong gameplay with marked improvements- UI is dramatically improved and the new clean menus are an improvement- Much stronger soundtrack drawing from modern bands- Two player D...