For those of you who stayed, you must be wondering why the hell I bothered playing this game. Rest assured, there's a very stupid reason for it: I needed a game that would go well with BioShock Infinite and the Disney princess jokes I make therein. That's it. That's the only reason. Little did I know that this would result in me taking far too many screenshots of this admittedly mediocre game. 65 (essentially three days) may not seem like much, but given how short the game is, I feel the density justifies this feature, no matter how brief. That out of the way? Good. Let us get started.
"Go ahead. Try to configure any of the other buttons. I DARE you."Beast at the bottom, however, sternly disapproves of this crap.A family barely clinging to the fringes of sanity.You know, Belle, this probably isn't what your father meant when he told you that you needed to get out more.What's worse: this giant block of text within the first two minutes of the actual game, or Gaston's skills with the ladies?It's better in motion. He just stands there indefinitely with that dumb scowl on his face, angry at nothing in particular."Which book? Your damn dialogue's blockin' the window."Oh, OK.....which book?Their eyes...they penetrate all...I wasn't kidding: he's still standing there after all this time.Good news: I think this is the last ludicrously huge textbook in the game. Bad news: it doesn't get much better from here.Man, can I relate.There is no talking mechanic in this game. He just walked up to me and blurted out this random information."The Red Rose commands you from beyond the void.""You hear that, Chicken? Now I can read all the dirty books father won't let me keep!""They did things to me, Belle. They did horrible things no-one should ever suffer through."The hell's going on with her body? Is she part raven?Uh, Belle, you might want t-Oh. Never mind, then.You know, Belle, for somebody who spends all her time reading, you sure did do something completely stupid. Just saying.
