Hey everybody. I've neglected this page for too long. More importantly: I've neglected you.  
  
Did that sound too creepy? Don't worry, like all things I say and do: It's intentional.  
It was meant to sound creepy. 
 
... 
 
 
It's strange writing again in this text box. I've missed it. All the little numbers and do-dads on the top. That message on-top of the text-box that says I should switch over to Parchment v2 formatting but I never will. For no real reason: I'm just that stubborn.  
I'm rambling again and I'm missing the point. It's not that I grew tired of talking to you...Talking at you... It's that it's very difficult right now too, and I never gave a concrete answer to why and I think this page should reflect something more than just: "YEAH, I'LL WRITE SOMETHING LATER I GUESS."  
 
So while were on the subject of me saying somewhat creepy construed statements to one-another, let's get personal. 
 
I'm in transition. 
My life has dramatically changed the last few months, but the seeds for that changed happened months if not a full year before. I had decided to continue my own personal prime-directive, something I had been admittedly somewhat scared to do. I've had a difficulty with confidence for years. Regardless, I decided I wanted more in my life, probably because even though my self-esteem has always been a bit low, it's always secretly butted-heads with my personal ambition, that's on the level of a fucking super-villain.  
For years I've been ignoring my ambition, until it simply became too much. I decided to continue the college thing out-side of an AA, so I set out to go to art school with a future goal to get into the games industry...Or the animation industry...Or any real industry that will hire me: holy-crap-job-market. 
 
I'm in my third quarter now. I'm downtown a bunch, and to continue the theme of being creepy personal: I'm really enjoying it. 
It's hard to define, but there's a part of me that feels...good. Just personally "good", like I've fallen into a groove of things that I can tolerate. School is tough, but if this is any indication of my future time here, or my future in general: I'm kinda excited about my future. I'm more confident. I'm fucking broke out of my mind- but I feel happy.  
 
I'm gaming less and less and I miss it. I really do. It will never go away. But I've now gone almost an entire half-a-week without picking up a controller. Go ahead and scoff at that- but we're on the topic of being creepy personal, and this is a personal blog...Aside... From the fact...That this this is being shared with whomever might see this-whatever: That still means a lot to me. 
 
I tweet and do the occasional forum post here-and-there. With all this said: Let this post be a good page for those of you who may wander here and wonder where the hell I am.  
In other words: One day more blogs will continue here. Just not yet. Not yet. 
 
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...Gladiator was on TV while I typed this.  
 

I know now that I am strange, but I will not apologize! EVER! 

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas everybody. 
 
While I compile my year-end awards, I got this little gem this holiday:
 

Thought this was funny.
I recently got an iPhone.  
It's my first smart-phone, so my appreciation for some of the basic functionality amuses some of my friends. One of the first things I loaded onto it was an Xbox App, and I thought it was pretty cool. 
  
So then Microsoft roll out their official Xbox App for iPhone, with all the bells, whistles, and subtlety of an atom bomb. Friend and achievement tracking, plus customizing my Avatar through the phone?
"Horray! Mindlessness for at least three minutes!"
 
So then later someone sends me a message through Live, and I decide to log onto Xbox.com to reply seeing how I find that easier to respond. 
Then I see this: 

HOLY CRAP?! A BLOG?!

Following the Link

"OMG OCARINA OF TIME IS THE BEST GAME EVER!" (<-You deserved to be slapped if you use internet acronyms out-loud in real life.) 

"Ocarina of Time was instrumental in laying down a foundation of game design in both exploration and combat, that has permeated with many games years after it's release and it's effect can be still felt today." 

Breaking the Link

Mending the Link

 
QUICK! I HAVE TIME TO AT LEAST WRITE DOWN SOMETHING. 
 
Uh- Hi. 
 
It's been a while, and I have missed you. Even the parts of you that have appendages, and perhaps require amputation. 
You probably are wondering why there's been so much radio silence, followed by a goofy pseudo-internet breakdown, followed by more radio silence, that was finally followed by a proclamation that I will be returning to blog followed by, you guessed it, more radio silence. 
 
First and foremost, lets address the following issues: 

#1)   

#B) 

In my school day planner ten years ago, I drew a picture to the best of my ability of the World Trade Center.
As I sketched the buildings on fire with meticulous detail, a deafening silence was produced on the television that was literally palpable. I don't think I'll ever see or hear such a sound, but watching those buildings fall, and subsequently hearing my mother literately screaming in the room at the same time, is an event that I don't think I will ever forget. 
 
I don't understand when people proclaim that we can "Never forget September 11th". Even if you don't remember the event because you were too young, the event has dramatically changed and affected so many lives, and it's repercussions are still being felt today. 
 
Cynicism regarding 9/11, is something entirely different from forgetting the event. Did 9/11 affect me from a personal level? Did I loose anyone on that day?  
No, but at the same time: Why try and find validation, to dismiss a horrifically tragic event in general? 
It's something that I seriously understand less, than the motivations of those who hijacked the planes that day. It's as if the failures of the foreign policy that followed the event, have overrode a basic human concept of sympathy and compassion. It's one number statistic pitted over another. How many people died on that day? How many people died in Afghanistan? Iraq? Civilians? Soldiers?   
 
Why do we do this to ourselves? What possible benefit does this have?
Looking back on the ten years of the war and death that followed, it's hard to forget that any loss of life is horrendous. That's what I feel we shouldn't "forget". That it's alright to show bit's a pieces of humanity, to other human beings for their loss. 
 
So while the news shows footage of those towers falling non-stop today (Personally can't stand that), and for some reason (?)you might have difficulty understanding why a country might emphasize a day a national tragedy occurred, that instigated more tragedy(?).  
On this day, I would implore you to not let your own narrative diminish the terrible things that happened that day. Because doing so, also diminishes the tragedy that followed.
 
Is that too hard to ask? 
To not be dicks on 9/11? 
That sound's pretty good right?
I don't suppose anyone is going to stand-up, and fight over what quantity or percentage of dicks they want to be on this day right? Nobody want's to be a dick in general. 
Or maybe you do? If so: Are you happy with your life...Being a dick.
 
Perhaps I'm overreacting after reading troll comments on the internet again. I hope this doesn't come across like some preachy opinion, but I'm going to go out on a limb and proclaim that having compassion on this anniversary, is not something that should be looked down upon.
 
But enough of this, Osama is very dead, his dreams and aspirations will never come to fruition, so let's talk about something awesome!  

You know what I'm going to write now? Now that I've decided to come back from the grave and blog again?

Xeno-Freaking-Blade!

Hey everyone. 
I haven't done a blog in a while, nor have I been very active on this site the last few weeks. This is has been ridiculous, especially given my recent S-Rank in L.A. Noire and my need to write about it, and there's also Capcom and their spectacular jaw-dropping public relations suicide. That story is like trying to contain an atomic bomb for me, the amount of material for a writing is palpable. Sometimes I just catch myself screaming at inanimate objects, as if I am writing a blog here. Have I illustrated the picture enough for you? I am watching a train wreck that's caught on fire, and then exploded again, and then it was doused in gasoline in order to stop the flames...and I can't write about it.
 
So, lets get one thing out of the way: I am not dead...Yet.
The last few weeks have been a continual lesson in humility, the job market is...uh...trying to say "rough" nicely. It's one thing to get turned down in a job, it's another to get turned down on a consistent basis. I am simply not used to this. You add in the factor that my extended family is visiting the home this week, and you have a storm of...well...crap-storm at every turn.
 
The next part is going to be difficult, so here I go.
I've decided until my prospects change, that I will be temporarily halting blog activity in general. I've had dry spells in the past due to personal issues, and it's kinda weird how every time I think I get into a groove-of-things, something pops up that eats up my time. In this case, I've decided the issue is pretty serious. I'll still be haunting a certain IRC chat-room, and playing games of course, but the rest of my resources I spend focusing writing things in long elaborated states, will be spent. Let's just say when I go to my new college this coming October, I think I'll be running into a similar situation.
 
I'm hoping that I will get something soon. PAX is just around the corner, and yes, I will be making another video. 
Maybe I'll get lucky tomorrow, who knows. Until then, consider this my official deceleration of blog hibernation. I hope it's a short winter.   
 
On a more happier note: There's this horrible thing.
Look at that awkward son-of-a-bitch. Not a fan of that guy.