Quick Look: Kinect Star Wars

I guess really young kids would like it. Not much here for adults, Star Wars fan or otherwise.

More Alexis.

I'm feeling like a star

you can't stop my shine

I'm lovin' cloud city

my head's in the sky

I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo

I'm Han Solo , Soo-loo

BOO TO BRAD FOR QUITTING THE SICK ASS DANCING

up until the jedi story thing, i thought it looked decent enough for a kid. But that jedi story mode was horrible absolutely horrible.

Great and HILARIOUS QL, but hopefully you guys'll work out the kinks in the editing for the next Kinect QL. Bottom right hand corner looks pretty messed up.

But whatever. Amazing stuff!

fuck every single person involved in anyway with making and or distributing this game. I hope you get space cancer. That is all

Lightsaber on!

@pancakehumper said:

Did they forget to hook up the 360 to a HDMI port or something? Why does this game look like such complete shit? Why don't Brad and Patrick realize they are standing too far back for the kinect to sense them. The game is even fucking telling them that. It's just pure laziness. They are blaming the game for their ignorance :/

EDIT: Those 200 people should be ashamed of themselves.

The game says that like twice maybe in the quick look? And once is when Brad has already finished his part? Seems like a really odd thing to nitpick since the game is fucking garbage anyways.

@AngelN7 said:

I'm feeling like a star

you can't stop my shine

I'm lovin' cloud city

my head's in the sky

I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo

I'm Han Solo , Soo-loo

Just..........................shameful.

Man, Brad such a downer on this game, and having not even seen the Clone Wars TV show he doesn't not understand the demographics this was geared towards.

Rancor Rampage looks like it would be fun for a couple minutes. Typical Kinect game. Makes for a great QL though!

I didn't know they had 1930's gangsters in the Star Wars universe.

@starfurydysan said:

Man, Brad such a downer on this game, and having not even seen the Clone Wars TV show he doesn't not understand the demographics this was geared towards.

That doesn't really make it any less shitty.

Though superficially inhuman, Rancor's Rampage readily compares to the inconsolable "selfishness" of early human childhood. Barring unseen human transgressions during captivity, the creature's primal urges serve as sole motivators. Rancor is pure Id, not yet tethered by the internalized social standards that come much later, with self-realization. The destructive tantrums are, to it, the rational result of not immediately getting what it wants. Further, it "expects" the universe/mother/game developer to provide said wants on call - or more accurately, it doesn't know any different.

The developers, too, faced a rancorous beast in the form of thousands of anonymous man-babies, Similarly bereft of rational thought or social barometer, they were unable to even conceive of a wider spectrum of awareness. Like infectious dinoflagellates washing ashore, the hateful - even threatening - and largely unconstructive response could hardly be dissected to identify a core minority of offenders.

Forcing the player to regress behaviorially and become the misanthropic beast is subtle genius. The move-set could be said objectively to literally emulate "what a baby does." I can almost imagine classical cautionary allegories featuring the tragic hybrid of a rational adult human melded with a personality that reveals itself as it pleases and is not conducive to civilized life period. Immortalized in code, Rancor Rampage shall stand a stark reminder of the conduct disorder sufferers in our midst.

Right?

@MeAuntieNora said:

Though superficially inhuman, Rancor's Rampage readily compares to the inconsolable "selfishness" of early human childhood. Barring unseen human transgressions during captivity, the creature's primal urges serve as sole motivators. Rancor is pure Id, not yet tethered by the internalized social standards that come much later, with self-realization. The destructive tantrums are, to it, the rational result of not immediately getting what it wants. Further, it "expects" the universe/mother/game developer to provide said wants on call - or more accurately, it doesn't know any different.

The developers, too, faced a rancorous beast in the form of thousands of anonymous man-babies, Similarly bereft of rational thought or social barometer, they were unable to even conceive of a wider spectrum of awareness. Like infectious dinoflagellates washing ashore, the hateful - even threatening - and largely unconstructive response could hardly be dissected to identify a core minority of offenders.

Forcing the player to regress behaviorially and become the misanthropic beast is subtle genius. The move-set could be said objectively to literally emulate "what a baby does." I can almost imagine classical cautionary allegories featuring the tragic hybrid of a rational adult human melded with a personality that reveals itself as it pleases and is not conducive to civilized life period. Immortalized in code, Rancor Rampage shall stand a stark reminder of the conduct disorder sufferers in our midst.

Right?

Right.

Ryan broke his agreement!!

My body's ready.

Think it's time for a size bigger shirt there, Bradly.

@vikingdeath1 said:

N64 Podracer was SICK, Miss those good times...

Exactly, I would totally play an uprezzed vers. of that game.

When I seen the E3 demo of this, I knew it was bad and that the Kinect is way to limited with controls. If it isnt on rails it isnt happening.... Even if it was one analog control you had to hold, it would help..

EDIT: Loved the QuickLook otherwise :)

Some say journalists are being excessively harsh on the Kinect. I have to say, every time a game comes out for it, I feel like they are being the appropriate amount of harsh.

Patrick's hair looks like he just got out of the shower...just sayin'.

"How would you know what he looks like in the shower?"

There, beat you all to it. :-)

People saying this is alright for kids, underestimate kids. They usually dont like playing with garbage.

Jedi Knight is on Steam for 5 bucks. FIVE DOLLARS. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO PLAY THIS NOW.

Jedi Academy TNT.

@MadLaughter:

Game looks pretty lame, but Brad seemed to break a few rules of the professional game reviewer. He had written it off before he even started, pretty much ragequit the dance game and almost some of the other stuff. Instead of a smart, detailed critique while showing us how bad the game is, it was mostly just sighs and flailing halfassedly. At least pretend to be unbiased?

You must have miss-clicked this for video reviews.

The dancing part is an abomination.

@cavemantom said:

Jedi Academy TNT.

Yes yes yes a thousand times yes.

Insectecutor said:

Brad's insatiable compulsion to regurgitate Mike Stoklasa's material is pretty fucking brazen in this video. The game looks pretty average to me. It has a racing game, a cheeky parody of Dance Central, and a game where you can stomp around as a big monster which both of them obviously enjoyed. As a kid I'd probably have got some fun out of this. Brad is voracious though, eager to complain about Wookies flying the Millennium Falcon which is quintessential Star Wars shit he'd have munched through like Pizza Rolls as a kid. Seems like they're only doing Kinect quick looks so they can berate it. It's perverted. If you think Kinect is bad don't cover it, don't try to humiliate it, just don't cover it.

Someone's been at the Dictionary!

@Insectecutor said:

Brad's insatiable compulsion to regurgitate Mike Stoklasa's material is pretty fucking brazen in this video. The game looks pretty average to me. It has a racing game, a cheeky parody of Dance Central, and a game where you can stomp around as a big monster which both of them obviously enjoyed. As a kid I'd probably have got some fun out of this. Brad is voracious though, eager to complain about Wookies flying the Millennium Falcon which is quintessential Star Wars shit he'd have munched through like Pizza Rolls as a kid. Seems like they're only doing Kinect quick looks so they can berate it. It's perverted. If you think Kinect is bad don't cover it, don't try to humiliate it, just don't cover it.

I kinda agree with this. This game looks functional and tolerable at worst, and I'm certain some child somewhere would actually get some joy out of it.

Man, this game is aggressively mediocre. Most of it is so cheesy, too. Maybe a five-year-old would get some enjoyment out of some of this game, but it's rated "T" for Teen, so what's the audience?

I like how fast the menu selection is.  That's something right?

Its ok Patrik all your kinect quicklooks have been janky so far. You never figured your old set out so lets start fresh and see what happens.

Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast is on steam and it's still pretty good, multiplayer is probably still kicking too.

...Greg Proops? Are you trying to get me to hate you, Mr. Proops?

When is someone going to sue microsoft for misleading people on what Kinect would be? I feel every E3 microsoft hypes the next batch of Kinect games and they aren't even close to the product that is then later released.

Actually scratch that. Everything is a lie these days, seen that awesome new movie trailer? Turns out that stuff isn't even in the movie.

@BlazeHedgehog said:

In ten years, some 22 year old will look back and have fond memories of this game.

Then he will fucking hang himself because he realizes that there are only motion games in the future. And all of them suck. And he has wasted his life :P

@Shtinky: nah I was just gilding it for fun.

It's really weird to see old star wars nerds complaining about this game. It's definitely built for kids, and 100% of the complaints anyone has about the game wouldn't occur to a kid.

If i was showing a kid star wars for the first time I wouldn't be against them playing the game. Seems like it works at least.

@Balex1908 said:

People saying this is alright for kids, underestimate kids. They usually dont like playing with garbage.

I've watched a four year old play nearly 3 consecutive hours of Rayman Raving Rabbids 2.

Most of us watched Power Rangers back in the day, so while its true that kids enjoy good things, they also just enjoy things. It doesn't matter what popular taste is, kids will like what they want, even if that happens to be a silly Star Wars Kinect game.

...Greg Proops? Are you trying to get me to hate you, Mr. Proops?

More like Greg POODOO XFD!

Looks entertaining enough. Not perfect but adequate for the standard of the kinect right now.

@Zippedbinders said:

@Balex1908 said:

People saying this is alright for kids, underestimate kids. They usually dont like playing with garbage.

I've watched a four year old play nearly 3 consecutive hours of Rayman Raving Rabbids 2.

Most of us watched Power Rangers back in the day, so while its true that kids enjoy good things, they also just enjoy things. It doesn't matter what popular taste is, kids will like what they want, even if that happens to be a silly Star Wars Kinect game.

I could totally see my 2.5 yr old loving the Rancor Rampage game, now I may actually buy this for him. Obviously this is NOT marketed at the same people that play MW3 or Battlfield 3...

Also, I don't think Brad should have reviewed this. He was not so subtle in his disdain, even before the camera was rollin'... normally I love listening to the banter and watching him stumble around trying to open doors, but this game was not meant for him (by at least a couple of decades)... with all due respect, Brad.

@Foxillusion said:

It's really weird to see old star wars nerds complaining about this game. It's definitely built for kids, and 100% of the complaints anyone has about the game wouldn't occur to a kid.

If i was showing a kid star wars for the first time I wouldn't be against them playing the game. Seems like it works at least.

!! yes !!

@Brad The kinect kept kicking you out because you were always leaving it's detection area... and it kept warning you to step forward so that it could properly detect you.

As a whole.... it seems like a pathetic attempt at a star wars motion-sensing game which could have been a lot better with better hardware and with some sort of controllers or things (lightsaber, pod racing handles, etc). Maybe a PS Move or a Wii U Star Wars will have a better performance from a motion-sensing standpoint.

@Shtinky said:

Insectecutor said:

Brad's insatiable compulsion to regurgitate Mike Stoklasa's material is pretty fucking brazen in this video. The game looks pretty average to me. It has a racing game, a cheeky parody of Dance Central, and a game where you can stomp around as a big monster which both of them obviously enjoyed. As a kid I'd probably have got some fun out of this. Brad is voracious though, eager to complain about Wookies flying the Millennium Falcon which is quintessential Star Wars shit he'd have munched through like Pizza Rolls as a kid. Seems like they're only doing Kinect quick looks so they can berate it. It's perverted. If you think Kinect is bad don't cover it, don't try to humiliate it, just don't cover it.

Someone's been at the Dictionary!

No, surprisingly enough, they actually teach some kids stuff now.

Incredible! I know!

@dvorak said:

@Shtinky said:

Insectecutor said:

Brad's insatiable compulsion to regurgitate Mike Stoklasa's material is pretty fucking brazen in this video. The game looks pretty average to me. It has a racing game, a cheeky parody of Dance Central, and a game where you can stomp around as a big monster which both of them obviously enjoyed. As a kid I'd probably have got some fun out of this. Brad is voracious though, eager to complain about Wookies flying the Millennium Falcon which is quintessential Star Wars shit he'd have munched through like Pizza Rolls as a kid. Seems like they're only doing Kinect quick looks so they can berate it. It's perverted. If you think Kinect is bad don't cover it, don't try to humiliate it, just don't cover it.

Someone's been at the Dictionary!

No, surprisingly enough, they actually teach some kids stuff now.

Incredible! I know!

One finds Insectecutor's grandiloquent vernacular tremendously supercilious, nevertheless, mirthfully conflagrated by his ebullient use of supererogatory malapropisms!

Best quicklook ever. So far.

The increasing presence of Alexis in videos bothers me.

The video quality of this Quick Look is awful. Hope they get this stuff sorted out soon.

'Kinect Star Wars out now!' ~*FaRtZ*~

Really says it all.