Quick Look: Postal III

Urgh. Good to see the GB crew are still doing Quick Looks of fucking dreadful games :D

Hey look at how shitty this tired game mechanic is ISNT IT FUNNY?

*still has it in the game, still shitty

i wonder why it isnt available for sale on steam ;p

Node Graph out of Date. Rebuilding...

These cutscenes remind me of... garry's mod.

I know they're supposed to be semen-drenched tissues, but that really shouldn't have distracted you from 20 years worth of games training you to go for headshots. Can't expect it to be over very quickly when you're hitting milfs in the calves and ankles, I think.

There's nothing about this game that is good.

Don't like this one at all. Not the same voice, one liners are really lame and repetitive. Postal 3 makes me want to reinstall number 2 so I can enjoy a good Postal game.

It's amazing how incompetent this is on every level. I wonder if Ryan somehow managed to get a non-final release of it.

I love how the zombie barf does way more damage than bullets do.

WOW. Postal 2 was shitty in a fun way (and had some great mods), but this... this is just a complete mess of assets slapped together. How the hell has this been in development for so long? Never mind the awful writing... that was a given. What's with everything else!? It looks like all choice, most of the freeroaming, half the sound effects (!), and even decent controls are completely removed.

This is TERRIBLE! Postal 2 was alright but this is just abysmal.

Man, they've butchered the Postal series, as bad as it was at least Postal 2 was fun and even funny at some points.

Hell it was even a better made game.

I feel like I need to bathe now.

is this a spiritual sequel to Bad Day LA?

I couldn't get past about the fifteen minutes mark of this video I was so bored (it was the game, not Ryan, Bunny, or Brad). How the hell did they manage to play this game for 45 minutes?

That's the Half Life bullet ricochet sound.

@Brake: Judging by GameSpots review it seems that Ryan ran most of the problems of the game, it really is that bad

@warxsnake: Apparently there is a mission later on that requires you to save, then punch, Uwe Boll (see above link)

Wow.. umm is it too late to get that Worst Game of 2011 award back from those blackwater guys?

This quick look couldn't have ended more perfectly.

ugh. couldn't even make it through all of the quick look. you guys are troopers.

This reminds me of that Leisure Suit Larry game they did a quick look of a while back.

I'm glad I made the decision many years ago to never have any morals about anything. I found this game to be pretty damn funny.

I loved the first Postal game and played it a lot, the only bad thing about it was that you couldn't kill the children, I never understood why they didn't make the children killable. I remember the first level I made myself was a playground with tons of explosive barrels and children everywhere. I was very disappointed when I found I could not kill them.

Thank you for playing this so we didn't have to... I think this game is better in an MST3K style, because the commentary from you guys was pretty excellent. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone will want waste even as much time as you guys did on this game. I guess that answers my question on the forums, this game is just BAD.

...what the FUCK? This is AWFUL!

Wow. Postal 2 was bad, but from what I remember, it was kind of open world from the get go and you could just mess around and do whatever. Now it's just a bunch of crappy missions? Blah.

@Feigr said:

I'm glad I made the decision many years ago to never have any morals about anything. I found this game to be pretty damn funny.

I loved the first Postal game and played it a lot, the only bad thing about it was that you couldn't kill the children, I never understood why they didn't make the children killable. I remember the first level I made myself was a playground with tons of explosive barrels and children everywhere. I was very disappointed when I found I could not kill them.

Eh, this isn't about morals, at all.

This is about it being a terrible, unfinished game, with humor equivalent of that of a twelve-year-old.

Also, you seem like a completely normal and well-adjusted person. What the fuck, duder.

If you like this game you are a bad person.

What the actual fuck

Looking on their website, there seem to be only 8 people working at Running With Scissors but that sounds... wrong. Hell, even buying from their store, the game has the following description:

One steam key for POSTAL III! WHILE VALVE DOES NOT HAVE POSTAL III FOR SALE YET, I AM SELLING ACTIVE STEAM KEYS!! GET EM NOW! *NOTE* I have to manually give you this key, so if I am not awake or near my computer It will take a little while to get your key!

The notion that this game was announced in 2006 is dumbfounding me. Where is the money coming from? Who is in charge here? Does anyone actually buy these? I was just playing The Binding Of Issac before I watched this, that game was made in 4 months by a couple of guys and released for about 1/8th the price of this. The chasm of quality between the two is insane.

I literally don't understand. We often hear on this site that no one wants to make a terrible game despite how bad the final product ends up, I believed that about every game I had ever seen. Postal III is an exception to the rule. I just realised in trying to express my confusion I gave more consideration to what to write than anyone cared to give to Postal III in any capacity. Basically I'm trying to say Postal III doesn't look very good guys, I don't think I'll get it.

Holy shit.

@Buckfitches said:

@Feigr said:

I'm glad I made the decision many years ago to never have any morals about anything. I found this game to be pretty damn funny.

I loved the first Postal game and played it a lot, the only bad thing about it was that you couldn't kill the children, I never understood why they didn't make the children killable. I remember the first level I made myself was a playground with tons of explosive barrels and children everywhere. I was very disappointed when I found I could not kill them.

Eh, this isn't about morals, at all.

This is about it being a terrible, unfinished game, with humor equivalent of that of a twelve-year-old.

Also, you seem like a completely normal and well-adjusted person. What the fuck, duder.

I agree that the game doesn't seem to be very good, I'm just saying that I thought it was very funny in spots.

And I do think it has to do with morals, morals are what tell people how they should think about minorities and retarded people for example, I do not have any empathy for those since I do not want to, so I can appreciate any jokes and put downs (as long as I personally think they are funny).

THIRD person?

This isn't Postal.

They have succeeded in being offensive. They're offending gamers by making an awful game.

what a way to start 2012 you guys! But think positively: we are starting at the lowest posible of what video games can give us this year it can only go up from here, right???

I liked the 2nd game...I didn't finish it but I thought it was funny.

But this looks, sounds and is shit...

Dear lord this makes Postal 2 look like a Godsend.

@mortal_sb said:

this reminds me SO MUCH of "Limbo of the Lost"

I just looked that game up and HOLY SHIT.

Dey should turn on da Gods Mode and look for da beehivez! (I probably need to refresh that obscure reference...)

The only thing about Postal III that amuses me is the fact that it surfaced on the market a few days after I remembered its existence. I even posted something here about how the game would probably stay in perpetual development. I should have known better than to speak of the devil.

@Feigr said:

And I do think it has to do with morals, morals are what tell people how they should think about minorities and retarded people for example, I do not have any empathy for those since I do not want to, so I can appreciate any jokes and put downs (as long as I personally think they are funny).

What if someone stole your car? Would you be okay with that too? Having no morality would mean that you would be okay with anything anyone does, since taking issue with anyone's action would indicate that you possess some sort of moral principle. Even sociopaths have moral principles (they simply don't have any emotional attachment to any moral principles). There is a difference between someone who lacks empathy and someone who completely lacks morals (the latter of which is basically impossible).

Anyway, I wanted to laugh at the game but I kinda felt boredom more than anything else. There are free source engine mods that are way better than this game.

@Deusoma said:

This is a videogame where Murder is the answer to all of life's problems and monkeys infected with AIDS rape people in the face. If you're offended by an amusing use of the word "retarded", Vinny, you'd better cash out now.

If you think that the use of the word is in any way amusing or extracts any kind of humor, then I'm sorry, but grow up. Not cause I'm offended by the use of the word, but because trying to be funny by using the word "retarded" is so indicative of grade school, 11 year old "humor."

When you can't even live up to a 8+ year old game that wasn't even that good to begin with... You've fucked up, to say the least.

I'd imagine those one-liners would sound slightly cooler in Duke Nukem's voice (emphasis on "slightly").

This is.. the worst #3 game I've ever seen.

This doesn't look like a modern game.

i'll wait for it to come to the US officially because maybe by then they will have fixed it. i liked postal 1 and 2 so i'd be willing to give it a shot.

Holy shit, this is the most awful piece of shit I've ever seen. So boring. It makes Duke Nukem Forever, which was a piece of shit look amazing in comparison. They look like they tried waaay to hard to make this seem "edgy" and funny, it just looks so fucking dumb.The gunshot sounds are stock Source engine sounds, and the grenade explosion looked stock Source too.

Ugh

How did this even get made

I actually kinda enjoyed my time with Postal 2........... I don't know about this one though.

Wow, not only is the humor lazy as fuck, but the actual game looks like a barely finished Source Engine mod (complete with stock Source sounds and the node graph error). I knew it was going to be bad though when the opening load screen proudly declared affiliation with the fucking terrible Uwe Boll movie.