Quick Look: Pro Evolution Soccer 2013

Wow, this game looks terrible. From the endless irrelevant pop-ups on startup to the lobotomised script they've put in the mouths of professional commentators ('It's gone over the goal line - so that's a goal kick!')... The player animations were awful too although that may just come down to Jeff and Vinny spamming slide tackle constantly. I played one of the Winning Eleven games like 10 years ago and it looks like they haven't advanced at all. I half expect to see banners in the crowd saying stuff like 'GET THE VICTORY!'

Hilarious QL though. I belly laughed.

It's way more entertaining to see them do something with a sport they know very little about than I thought it would be, good job. :)
 

@Laivasse

The fact that you guys can look at an image of Cristiano Ronaldo and not know who he is - which is probably about the most offensive thing you can do to Ronaldo - is exactly why I want you guys to never shy away from football game QLs.

Vinny and Jeff are THE funniest combo...

What am I doing with my life? Spending a Saturday morning watching grown men play the video game version of a game I find exceptionally boring to watch...

This is actually a somewhat useful sports QL, seeing as how I love FIFA and haven't bought a PES game in years. I used to love the old Winning Eleven games, and it's cool to see what is going on with the series.

For you folks that ask for soccer content on Giantbomb, well here you go. Be careful what you wish for.

This looks like it plays exactly the same as PES 09 but with a shitty framerate. The 09 version is $10, this one is $60. Sports games.

Jeff is trying to blame his bad mood on soccer but he is just mad he lost to Vinny.

@dcgc said:

@Phatmac said:

For you folks that ask for soccer content on Giantbomb, well here you go. Be careful what you wish for.

And what we got was an awesome quick look.

This message is for folks that take soccer too seriously and demand that GB look at a soccer game. The QL is awesome and I hope that soccer fans that begged for any soccer coverage realize that none of the GB crew know anything about soccer.

Cristiano Ronaldo starring in QL as "that guy on the cover".

@NissanSkyline said:

Jeff is trying to blame his bad mood on soccer but he i just mad he lost to Vinny.

Is anyone keeping score overall? I know Jeff won the Madden QL easily.

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

Farthest offensive player has to be behind the last defender when the pass is made to be onside.

I like watching women's soccer. Alex Morgan is hot.

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

@Phatmac said:

@dcgc said:

@Phatmac said:

For you folks that ask for soccer content on Giantbomb, well here you go. Be careful what you wish for.

And what we got was an awesome quick look.

This message is for folks that take soccer too seriously and demand that GB look at a soccer game. The QL is awesome and I hope that soccer fans that begged for any soccer coverage realize that none of the GB crew know anything about soccer.

Err, I knew full well what to expect. You're talking about some sort of mythical strawman here who is apparently outraged that Vinny & Jeff know even less about football than they do about Madden, because certainly no one here is making that argument.

Stick to arguing with actual people rather than strawmen in future chief.

@Kartana said:

@rebgav said:

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

I think one is enough.

No, it's two. Any two players, including the goalkeeper.

@Kartana technically two. The goalie counts as one of those players

@Kartana technically two. The goalie counts as one of those players

Wow, i'm Real glad I caught that Warning at the very end. Thanks guys, I hadn't realized, i'll steer clear!

lolz sports

A FOOTY QL?

Been hoping for so, so long.

I have both. This year Fifa is superior but i still think PES is more fun.

This was a great quick look, that miss was a classic. And hey, if you dont like soccer then cool, but dont hate on it just because you don't get it.

It's times like these I wish Justin Calvert was on the GB crew (for many reasons, he's a cool duder). But I found this QL hillarious, as most Jeff/Vinny joints

I have the same reaction any time I try to play a Madden game. Havn't got a frickin clue what is going on and it's boring as hell to play.

@rebgav said:

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

Only if the pass is forward.

@randiolo said:

This was a great quick look, that miss was a classic. And hey, if you dont like soccer then cool, but dont hate on it just because you don't get it.

You try to kick a ball into a net. It's really hard not to get.

Is this produced by Jay Z?

I don't care for soccer at all, but being this dismissive about it will only anger people. Kinda pointless.

@mnzy said:

@rebgav said:

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

Only if the pass is forward.

Obviously, otherwise the rule doesn't come in to play :p

@TwoLines said:

I don't care for soccer at all, but being this dismissive about it will only anger people. Kinda pointless.

But soccer fans are the most cool, evenheaded people in the world.

Great, now I'm imagining Jeff dashing out of a supermarket with a copy of FIFA 13 while there's a bunch of security cop men running after him and he's yelling GO GO GO to Vinny who's waiting in a car outside. 
 
FIFA 13 quicklook, coming to you hot from the new Giantbomb office in Mexico. Catch it!

@Kartana said:

@rebgav said:

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

I think one is enough.

Yep. also the run has to be timed as the ball passes by the last man

Super Mario Strikers is the best soccer game.

FIFA 13 is soooooooooooo much better.

Proud of Vinny for playing recklessly, but within the rules, rather than Jeff who really should be thrown out of soccer. Or maybe forced to stay since that seems like it would hurt him more.

@Phatmac said:

@dcgc said:

@Phatmac said:

For you folks that ask for soccer content on Giantbomb, well here you go. Be careful what you wish for.

And what we got was an awesome quick look.

This message is for folks that take soccer too seriously and demand that GB look at a soccer game. The QL is awesome and I hope that soccer fans that begged for any soccer coverage realize that none of the GB crew know anything about soccer.

Yes, and this is the sub par soccer game out right now

Why no warning on american football games? I mean they are even more boring to watch. Menus + 3sec of playing.

See, i can do it also.

@DeadPan said:

@Kartana said:

@rebgav said:

@LastNinja said:

What? Nobody has explained the off-side rules yet? I watch football fairly regularly and I still don't get it.

I'll do it! There must be two defending players between the goal line and the receiver when the ball is played. That's all.

I think one is enough.

Yep. also the run has to be timed as the ball passes by the last man

That sounds like some broadcast commentary nonsense. Let's appeal to the authority on the issue:

FIFA Laws of the Game 2012-13

Offside position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

• he is nearer to his opponents' goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

• he is in his own half of the field of play or
• he is level with the second-last opponent or
• he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee, involved in active play by:

• interfering with play or
• interfering with an opponent or
• gaining an advantage by being in that position

No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

• a goal kick
• a throw-in
• a corner kick

Infringements and sanctions

In the event of an offside offence, the referee awards an indirect free kick to the opposing team to be taken from the place where the infringement occurred (see Law 13 - Position of free kick).

Don't be going doing a soccer game all dismissive when you are the only country that does not play it. It's hard to not take offence, i'm sorry.

Also, Fifa is better.

As an Englishman, I do not understand how someone can be alive and know so little about footy. But then again I'm not a proper Englishman, as American football is still my favourite sport.

Great QL, as expected.

This Quick Look is hilarious, but why do americans usually hate football (soccer) so much?

@hustlerlt said:

This Quick Look is hilarious, but why do americans usually hate football (soccer) so much?

Because they didn't invent it and are not good at it, but the rest of the world loves it.

Thanks GB crew. It's quick looks like this that make me love this site.

Get Vinny and someone else to do FIFA 13.

Man, even video game soccer is boring as hell to watch.

@DexterKid said:

@hustlerlt said:

This Quick Look is hilarious, but why do americans usually hate football (soccer) so much?

Because they didn't invent it and are not good at it, but the rest of the world loves it.

Well, I hate all sports equally if that helps. Can not wrap my head around why people like watching that stuff.