Let's Play Temple of Elemental Evil: Part 4: What the...?

Posted by Video_Game_King (36110 posts) -

( And, once again, I continue my search for the Temple of Elemental Evil.) Last time I tried searching for it...you know what? Let's just dive right in. It's more fun that way.
 
Anyway, last time, Clearly Out of their Elemental Evil finally conquered Moathouse and emerged to find me...and ArbitraryWater...and the rest of Mento's team. That was certainly a surprising turn of events. The first response of everybody, naturally, is to socialize and mingle and stuff. Neutralio chats it up with ahoodedfigure, asking him if he's capable of healing his pain (I imagine ahoodedfigure's response cannot possibly be faggier than "No, but we can talk our feelings out"); ArbitraryWater just stares in fear of Banthor, thinking that she'll rob him blind (or maybe he's just trying to figure out the specific ways in which I've screwed her the hell up); Claude...I don't know what he does, mainly because I don't think anybody can no what the fuck he's doing at any point in time, but Sexyface hits on Issril by calling himself "The Freshmaker" (and Mento is furious at him for stealing his pick-up line). But what about me? I take out my crown and decide to kick some Falior ass. "Turn on the Romancing Saga 3, Bard-Guy", I yell to the Bard-Guy (I never learned his name). He starts singing... this...(huh?), and I handle things the best way I know how:
 
 
 
With some Romancing Saga...
 
 
 
A touch of Phantom Brave...
 
 
 
And Fire Emblem! But I know that I'm eating up precious time, so I transform into the Prince of Persia, rewind time, and tell Mento to steer clear of Moathouse. Good thing, too, because it turns out there's a lot more to Moathouse than throwing banana peels at bandits. Like bugbears, for example. Naturally, I order them all killed because of that one quest about RPG monsters. Finally, justice is served...ironically. Also, everybody except Sexyface levels up. Apparently, this game doesn't give out EXP for trying to get some bugbear love. I assume that Troika is full of racists. Falior uses this opportunity to become a tank, while Neutralio finally gets those decent spells that Mento's been talking about.
 
That out of the way, Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil sells their excess inventory in town before rushing into Moathouse and kills everything in sight. And I mean EVERYTHING: goblins, ghouls, possibly some ghosts, a giant lobster (I guess the DND definition of "monster" is "some creature made bigger"), gnolls, and so much more. Hell, I think the gnolls were actually willing to leave, but Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil does not care; they just wish to murder and loot everything in sight. This strategy doesn't work too well when they discover a small army's worth of bandits hiding deep within Moathouse. They must adapt their tactics. Neutralio lubes up the floor, ready to show those fuckers the wiz biz, and Issril summons the Celestial Owl just to get it killed mid-combat. She will never pay for her hubris. But after much fighting, all the bandits are dead, and the game is over. Somewhere, in all that, Sexyface finally levels up. And good times were had.
 
 Hey, Mento: you left somebody behind.
Wait, one of those sentences was a lie. Hint: it was the one about the bandits being dead and the game being over. Turns out that the leader (known as The Master) still needs to be killed. Clearly Out of their Elemental Evil breaks into his room (presumably while he's changing clothes or something) and whacks the hell out of him. Neutralio even gets in on the fun and spills motor oil all over his good rugs. Horrified, The Master (known as Lareth) begs forgiveness of Falior, of all people. He promises a gold chain and entry into the Temple of Elemental Evil in exchange for not being killed. Falior takes the gold chain, accepts the offer...and takes to killing him anyway. That out of the way, Issril suddenly confuses herself for Banthor and robs the poor fool of all his possessions, including his diary. Might as well go back to town and sell these precious memories. But wait! A group of warriors waits outside Moathouse to confront the group (whom they've met before...somehow). Not only do they pinpoint what everybody is thinking about this ragtag group of impulsive toddlers, but also threaten to kill them for making the world a better place. Wait, what? Fuck that! The group runs for their life into the Moathouse, works their way to the top, and tries to exit to the safety of the tower. Yet in the courtyard, they meet none other than the same group from before.
 
Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil proceeds to walk straight past them and into the tower to rest for a week or two. Those other warriors must have forgotten why they came, because if I remember correctly, Sexyface speaks to one of them and finds out that the warriors want to join Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil. I force him to decline, since that many warriors would be hell on my computer. But I do allow them to collect that thieving kit they missed before. Sexyface spots a trap rigged around it and falls for it anyway. Why? I guess because it's a lady-targeting trap, since Issril and Banthor are the only ones affected. I send the group to rest it off and forget the lesson they should have learned from this exercise. Of course, this ordeal has left them with more inventory items than they know what to do with (I mean that quite literally; most of them are either over-encumbered, out of space, or both), so I force them to pawn off a lot of it. Yet Falior has that gold chain from before draped around his neck like a trophy of sorts, and Issril puts ten rings on one hand. (Is it sinking in yet?)
 
While the group trades in all their crap, the Blacksmith offers the group a simple challenge, probably out of pity: open a chest and they can have what's inside. Banthor finally steps up to the plate and...is unable to open the chest. Stricken with grief, she runs off to the mayor's place, hoping to find consolation in the fact that she looted his place rather efficiently. Naturally, everybody warps to her position inside the house. Neutralio then informs the mayor (I should stop calling him a mayor, since he's technically an elder) of their success at Moathouse. "That was five months ago", he replies. "I knew I shouldn't have hired the first group of assholes to walk into town." He then banishes them to the shitty little backwater hamlet of Nulb. What adventures await them there? I probably know by now, but you sure as hell don't! Unless you're Mento or ArbitraryWater, which is highly likely. Anyway, next time: Nulb adventures!
#1 Posted by Video_Game_King (36110 posts) -

( And, once again, I continue my search for the Temple of Elemental Evil.) Last time I tried searching for it...you know what? Let's just dive right in. It's more fun that way.
 
Anyway, last time, Clearly Out of their Elemental Evil finally conquered Moathouse and emerged to find me...and ArbitraryWater...and the rest of Mento's team. That was certainly a surprising turn of events. The first response of everybody, naturally, is to socialize and mingle and stuff. Neutralio chats it up with ahoodedfigure, asking him if he's capable of healing his pain (I imagine ahoodedfigure's response cannot possibly be faggier than "No, but we can talk our feelings out"); ArbitraryWater just stares in fear of Banthor, thinking that she'll rob him blind (or maybe he's just trying to figure out the specific ways in which I've screwed her the hell up); Claude...I don't know what he does, mainly because I don't think anybody can no what the fuck he's doing at any point in time, but Sexyface hits on Issril by calling himself "The Freshmaker" (and Mento is furious at him for stealing his pick-up line). But what about me? I take out my crown and decide to kick some Falior ass. "Turn on the Romancing Saga 3, Bard-Guy", I yell to the Bard-Guy (I never learned his name). He starts singing... this...(huh?), and I handle things the best way I know how:
 
 
 
With some Romancing Saga...
 
 
 
A touch of Phantom Brave...
 
 
 
And Fire Emblem! But I know that I'm eating up precious time, so I transform into the Prince of Persia, rewind time, and tell Mento to steer clear of Moathouse. Good thing, too, because it turns out there's a lot more to Moathouse than throwing banana peels at bandits. Like bugbears, for example. Naturally, I order them all killed because of that one quest about RPG monsters. Finally, justice is served...ironically. Also, everybody except Sexyface levels up. Apparently, this game doesn't give out EXP for trying to get some bugbear love. I assume that Troika is full of racists. Falior uses this opportunity to become a tank, while Neutralio finally gets those decent spells that Mento's been talking about.
 
That out of the way, Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil sells their excess inventory in town before rushing into Moathouse and kills everything in sight. And I mean EVERYTHING: goblins, ghouls, possibly some ghosts, a giant lobster (I guess the DND definition of "monster" is "some creature made bigger"), gnolls, and so much more. Hell, I think the gnolls were actually willing to leave, but Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil does not care; they just wish to murder and loot everything in sight. This strategy doesn't work too well when they discover a small army's worth of bandits hiding deep within Moathouse. They must adapt their tactics. Neutralio lubes up the floor, ready to show those fuckers the wiz biz, and Issril summons the Celestial Owl just to get it killed mid-combat. She will never pay for her hubris. But after much fighting, all the bandits are dead, and the game is over. Somewhere, in all that, Sexyface finally levels up. And good times were had.
 
 Hey, Mento: you left somebody behind.
Wait, one of those sentences was a lie. Hint: it was the one about the bandits being dead and the game being over. Turns out that the leader (known as The Master) still needs to be killed. Clearly Out of their Elemental Evil breaks into his room (presumably while he's changing clothes or something) and whacks the hell out of him. Neutralio even gets in on the fun and spills motor oil all over his good rugs. Horrified, The Master (known as Lareth) begs forgiveness of Falior, of all people. He promises a gold chain and entry into the Temple of Elemental Evil in exchange for not being killed. Falior takes the gold chain, accepts the offer...and takes to killing him anyway. That out of the way, Issril suddenly confuses herself for Banthor and robs the poor fool of all his possessions, including his diary. Might as well go back to town and sell these precious memories. But wait! A group of warriors waits outside Moathouse to confront the group (whom they've met before...somehow). Not only do they pinpoint what everybody is thinking about this ragtag group of impulsive toddlers, but also threaten to kill them for making the world a better place. Wait, what? Fuck that! The group runs for their life into the Moathouse, works their way to the top, and tries to exit to the safety of the tower. Yet in the courtyard, they meet none other than the same group from before.
 
Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil proceeds to walk straight past them and into the tower to rest for a week or two. Those other warriors must have forgotten why they came, because if I remember correctly, Sexyface speaks to one of them and finds out that the warriors want to join Clearly Out of Their Elemental Evil. I force him to decline, since that many warriors would be hell on my computer. But I do allow them to collect that thieving kit they missed before. Sexyface spots a trap rigged around it and falls for it anyway. Why? I guess because it's a lady-targeting trap, since Issril and Banthor are the only ones affected. I send the group to rest it off and forget the lesson they should have learned from this exercise. Of course, this ordeal has left them with more inventory items than they know what to do with (I mean that quite literally; most of them are either over-encumbered, out of space, or both), so I force them to pawn off a lot of it. Yet Falior has that gold chain from before draped around his neck like a trophy of sorts, and Issril puts ten rings on one hand. (Is it sinking in yet?)
 
While the group trades in all their crap, the Blacksmith offers the group a simple challenge, probably out of pity: open a chest and they can have what's inside. Banthor finally steps up to the plate and...is unable to open the chest. Stricken with grief, she runs off to the mayor's place, hoping to find consolation in the fact that she looted his place rather efficiently. Naturally, everybody warps to her position inside the house. Neutralio then informs the mayor (I should stop calling him a mayor, since he's technically an elder) of their success at Moathouse. "That was five months ago", he replies. "I knew I shouldn't have hired the first group of assholes to walk into town." He then banishes them to the shitty little backwater hamlet of Nulb. What adventures await them there? I probably know by now, but you sure as hell don't! Unless you're Mento or ArbitraryWater, which is highly likely. Anyway, next time: Nulb adventures!
#2 Posted by Mento (2444 posts) -

Man, I got burned. And eye-lasered by Eliwood?

I never left the Moathouse using the secret exit, so I never had the Evil NPCs from Hommlet ambush me like that. Now I feel like I missed out. I actually remember going back to Hommlet later for wizard reasons and talking to Zert and Turuko about hitting the Temple and they were all like "have fun!" Weird guys. Maybe they didn't want to start attacking me in town in case all those scary level 0 peasants joined in and made it difficult for them.

Anyway, good job with Lareth. I found that to be a tough fight. And use the Extraplanar Chest from the radial menu of whoever's carrying it to make it appear, and then do it again to make it vanish after you've filled it with loot. Though it will start vomiting out items eventually, it's got a decent carrying capacity.

Moderator
#3 Posted by Video_Game_King (36110 posts) -

@Mento:

What, you didn't know? Eliwood's father is Cyclops. It just doesn't come up much.

Odd. I never met guys by the name of Zert or Turoko. Was one of them mute? I remember seeing that guy.

That's because I had the decency to go rest before I took on Lareth. You were impatient, what with wanting to kill him immediately after his allies got murdered.

Actually, I've been using the Extraplanar Chest for quite a while, and it's proving to be pretty useful. Now my characters can play dress-up in the open, instead of in the comfort of their own h...I shouldn't spoil anything too soon.

#4 Posted by ArbitraryWater (11501 posts) -

If Eliwood could shoot lasers from his eyes, he'd be a much more useful character than the "not fast enough to double, not durable enough to tank" pansy lord that he is. Of course even then, he's still a step above his "even less useful" son Roy and "How on earth do you only have 9 strength at level 14" Leaf. You know, Ballistas in Thracia 776 are kind of dicks.

Wait, what? Oh. That one game. Good job. From what I've seen of the pictures you've uploaded, you made it into the Temple proper, which is where the real meat of the game is. Not sure how you're doing for feats, but if you want the game to be a lot easier have one of your casters take "Craft Magical Arms and Armor" at some point, and then have them enchant dudes' weapons and armor. At level 10, your wizard (with the right spells, and by that I mean Fireball, Cone of Cold, and Keen Edge) can make +3 Flaming Freezing Keen *insert weapon here*. For even more fun, stack that on top of one of the 3 holy weapons you find in the game. There's a +1 Holy Ranseur (basically a spear) hidden in the right corner of the big central air temple room that you end up in when you go down the spiral staircase.

#5 Posted by Video_Game_King (36110 posts) -

@ArbitraryWater:

Man, all this inadvertent Fire Emblem talk really makes me want to go back to Tear Ring Saga. I've said it before, I'll say it again: it's an awesome Fire Emblem game.

Wait, the meat's in the Temple itself? I'm having trouble coming up with stuff to write. If I wrote down all my experiences verbatim, it would be, "Well, I'm walking around. Nothing's happening. Maybe something's over here? Nope. Hey, some Stirges. They shouldn't be too challen-OH GOD, BLOOD DRAIN IS WRECKING MY TEAM!"

I'm not sure if Neutralio or Issril have those spells, yet. I haven't been paying attention to my feats other than "have at least one Toughness" (given the cracks made at Neutralio, I'd be shocked if any of you disagreed with me).

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.