Boxing never seems to stop giving!
Let me ask you a question: Have you ever wanted to punch somebody's face so hard that their face ripples? Of course you have, who hasn't, but now you don't have to pretend your pillow is your ex girlfriend who dumped you for the sexy hispanic gardener, instead you can play Fight Night Round 4. The best part being you can probably make a boxer that looks like your ex and beat on her in the game... not sexually of course, just video-gamically, and yes I just coined that shit, so watch out or I'll sue your asses! So back to Fight Night Round 4. Instead of being regular, EA decided they'd make basically all punching on the right stick. Who needs buttons? Besides the right stick is just one stick, there are four buttons... put that in your pipe and smoke it buttons. One stick kicks all yall's asses. Back to that sexy stick. You use a variety of different movements on the stick; be it a jab, uppercut, hook and all that other whacky boxing lingo for punching dudes in the face. Besides why are punches even labeled? If I was a punch I'd file a lawsuit against boxing for labeling me as a thing. That's damn racism right there. But yah: Move stick = punch. It woks real good, little slippery at times and hard to master, but overall it works like butter on pan cakes, which is damn good... If you didn't already know. And if you didn't you suck... No you don't but seriously you do. Besides that you got, online which I did not partake because I suck. I'm sure it's a ball and all (that rhymes) but I ain't got no damn interweb to play it on so ha. Than you got legacy mode. You make a boxer or use one of the gagillions of other boxers in the game. Ranging from Tyson to Pacqiuo, in all of the different weight classes. I made a boxer that looked like me if I was ripped to hell, and had a mohawk. Yah I'm a beast. Legacy Mode is fun though so don't you be scared away by those menus. I gotta say I agree with Geoff (real sorry if I spelled your name wrong man), about those Legacy Mode menus... Whoo! So many menus so little time. But you still get to beat stuff up and that never gets old. So let's do a tally, we got:
- Sick stick: Right stick kicks buttons ass. Oh and the other controls are good too.
- Fighters galore: Too many fighters to count with one pair of hands.
- Release: Release the tension from your most recent breakup by "breaking up" someone's face. Hahah funny right? I know, it isn't, but I try.
- Damn I forgot to mention this: The graphics are too sick. I can't even joke about how amazing the graphics look. Who knew Ali sweat so good.
Beastliness Meter: Baby Beast Nifty Beast Minion Beast Sexy Beast Maximum Beast
Fight Night Round 4? You Be a Sexy Beast ! ! !
Written by the beast himself Cameron Dupuy
