IT CAME FROM THE DOS BOX

Throughout my internet travels, I have run into stuff that, to put it bluntly, can only be described as OLD. Not necessarily bad, per se, but more "aged to the point of ridicule". Here are games, that are both obscure and not obscure that I probably made a video of or otherwise mocked but have never actually attempted to play seriously, drawn from poor purchasing decisions on Good Old Games and the occasional abandonware thingamajig.

List items

  • Alone in the Dark is an utterly fascinating game, with all the stuff it pioneered and Resident Evil basically ripped off. However, it's also somehow EVEN MORE CLUNKY than the old Resident Evil games and somehow spawned two sequels before turning into one of those game properties that gets brought back out and abused every decade or so.

  • I can tell that there is at least something resembling a good game buried underneath the first and second Realms of Arkania game. However, because of spotty documentation on the internet and a system of rules that is, to put it lightly, complicated and opaque, one wonders how exactly people beat these kinds of games before the internet. This extends to the second one, BUT NOT the third one. Realms of Arkania 3 seems to actually be kind of rad.

  • This is strictly Warcraft 1 we're talking about. As we all know, Warcraft 2 is totally rad and Warcraft 3 is a game I like more than Starcraft, but that's because I'm bad at RTS games. What makes this notably primitive is the fact that you have to manually select your units to move rather than right clicking. Considering that Warcraft is like... the second RTS game I guess that's forgivable.

  • While the first Lands of Lore is basically Westwood making another Eye of the Beholder game without the D&D license, the second one is... interesting to say the least. FMV abounds, and everyone loves free roaming polygonal environments with flat 2D sprites. Also, you occasionally randomly turn into a lizard for no reason other than to mess with you. That's pretty cruel game.

  • Bizarre freeware robot fighting game. I imagine if you didn't have a SNES or knew what Street Fighter II was, you might have been able to enjoy this. If not..? I have no clue. The art style is, at the very least, ironically entertaining.

  • As opposed to every Ultima game that came before it, Ultima VI has the basic advantage of resembling a game with an interface. It's just not a good interface. You know? I think I'll just stick to trying to understand Ultima VII for now.

  • An interesting game that is a pretty good example of throwing the player to the wolves and expecting them to figure out things for themselves. I imagine that there are some half decent guides out there, so maybe if I were to give it another shot I would check those.

  • The era in between the Gold Box games and Baldur's Gate is an awkward one for D&D games. Menzoberranzan is a free roaming real-time first person RPG thing that also happens to feature Drizzt. It's also incredibly hard to navigate and even in videos where people know what they're doing they still have trouble.