Greetings all Turbo lovers! It's time to rocka rolla another demolition of a beloved 16-bit video game by ramming down this month's screenshot LP for a PC Engine game (one of many that were sadly only unleashed in the east) that I British-stole from the internet. But I'd best stop talking about my committing sin after sin before my I stain my class any further and move onto this game's introduction before you all start screaming for vengeance. If you need a point of entry for this series, look no further than the table at the bottom of the page.
Tomcat System/Irem's Gekisha Boy is a photography action game that was unfortunately never localized for the US TurboGrafx-16 console for reasons that will become very evident once we begin. Luckily, there's not a whole lot of Japanese language in the game and the context behind it is very easy to pick up. Essentially, the game is a far weirder 2D version of Pokemon Snap's snap snapshot-shooting precision with some jumping/dodging thrown in for flavor. The only goal is to reach a target score for each stage and you earn more points for photographing unusual sights and... that's really all there is to it. (Well... mostly. You'll see.)
Sounds dumb, right? You have no idea.
Taking Pictures of Some Completely Normal Things That Are Happening
Welcome to Gekisha Boy! I believe this is the first PC Engine exclusive game I've covered. I want to do a lot more, since the US really only got the tip of the PC Engine iceberg.The set-up's all moonspeak to me, but that numerical is obvious enough: The goal for Stage 1 (or "Take 1") is a mere 10,000 points. Sounds simple. So here's how the game works: Gekisha Boy (his real name is an oddly generic "David Goldman") walks automatically to the right as the screen scrolls in the same direction. As he walks by, various items appear in the fore- and background which you can snap with a cursor you control with the D-pad. Hitting the snap button pauses the action, so you don't have to worry about "leading the target". This UFO snatching some luckless dude's car is the first big score of the stage.Snapping particularly worthy pictures will usually net you a power-up. Most power-ups, like that "5" there, will increase the number of shots you can take by that amount. It's important to keep that number up, because if you're out of film the level ends early and it'll be very difficult to reach your score target as a result.Most of the high-earner shots have a very small time window. This dude will quickly get back up, so the Pokemon Snap rule of trying a level a few times to familiarize yourself with when best to strike can often help.This guy has an alien head, but eventually his hologram technology kicks in and he's back to being an incognito human. Quick, sell your evidence to David Icke!Yep. This is how you earn the big bucks. No-one said this life was glamorous, kiddo.Though I guess a resurrected Marilyn Monroe makes it a little more glamorous.Wait until this rollerblading girl falls over and quickly snap an upskirt. Video games are art.The DeLorean might not need roads, but you do need to snap it before it vanishes because it's worth as much as a Grays Sports Almanac.Just taking a picture of this regular old plane in the background. Even non-special stuff like this will still earn you a small amount of points, especially if it's a moving target. (Incidentally, I love the wobbly art in this game. Very Toejam and Earl/Day of the Tentacle.)Whoops! Shit, forgot to turn the flash off.And there's a flying man. The Speed boost increases the speed your cursor moves around the screen. There's also a power-up that increases the size of the cursor's aperture. Both are darn useful.A woman tied to a rocket. No, you can't save her, but we can take pictures of her suffering. At least until she vertically lifts off the screen to an unknown (but probably highly explosive) fate.I tried to capture a collapsed hot air balloon in the distance, but I guess it's not too clear from this screencap. So instead I'll use this opportunity to discuss flashing objects: that skateboard there is one of them, and anything that flashes (well, except that sex criminal a while back) could potentially collide with you and cause you to lose a lot of film and any power-ups. It's important to balance dodging them as they appear with looking for weird shit to capture (snapping the obstacles will remove them too, but the amount of points you earn is usually not worth the wasted film. It will be in later levels, though, which is coincidentally when obstacles start becoming unavoidable).The stick firemen run off with their trampolining rescuee, leaving an apparently nude woman to burn to death in her high-rise. Make sure to take lots of pictures.Take some Statue of Liberty upskirts too, why not. It's not like anything's sacred in the world of tabloid photography. The game does prove wrong a certain Dr. Venkman quote, since she's clearly wearing olde-timey bloomers.Despite madly capping as much as I could while also madly photographing as much as I could, I squeaked by the level requirement of 10,000. Once a level ends it'll give you bonus points for any unused film - but it's a paltry 100 points for each shot you didn't take, which is less than you earn for a lot of the "regular" shots therefore it's worth snapping away liberally whenever possible. On the other hand, you don't want to run out of film prematurely. 'Tis a balancing act.So here's when Professor Oak scowls at your scandalous output and judges you for the many dubious photo opportunity decisions you made.Fortunately we hit our goal target and so it's off to the next stage. It's likely he's giving you a more detailed report of your score, perhaps with a few probing questions about the amount of unnecessary nudity, but I'll be darned if I can read a single kana of it. Pepsiman? VGK? ...Bueller?
So that's it for Part 1. As with Neutopia and Bonk, I'll continue capping the other stages in the comments below for those curious about how much weirder this game is about to get. Spoilers: It's going to get a lot weirder. Thanks for stopping by!
There's a few more photo opp "types" to be found in the second stage, but beyond that most of the game's mechanics have been explained. From here on out it's just going to be all the weirdness that pops up in each stage. Hopefully that means less images per post, but you never can tell with this game.
New York, New York - It's a Helluva Town
Welcome to what I assume is the Big Apple (though there's strong evidence to suggest it is). You're immediately greeted with this pair of panties falling from above. They're worth more points the quicker you snap them.And here's Spider-Man. Starting to suspect there might have been copyright issues with the localization too. Interestingly, you only have time to snap either Webhead or that car crashing into a lamppost, not both.So here's one of the special shots I was talking about. If you're paying attention, you can sometimes see suspicious silhouettes in the background. Taking a pic to reveal them (and sometimes a second pic when they're lit up) earns you quite a few points. If you can spot them in time.Right underneath King Kong is this blink-and-you'll-miss-it mugging. Obviously, our job is only to report crimes, not stop them.Most of the bystanders aren't worth a whole lot of points, but this fellow is a special case. Wonder why?Oh, and that creepy flasher is still following you. We definitely aren't done with him yet.The game throws you a bone here with a series of these little Space Invader type guys (actually, they're from *Batteries Not Included, which is kind of a deep cut as far as dumb references go). They move quick but pause frequently, and each one gives you an extra five film to use. It's handy to stock up here.Here's another special shot, something I call a multi-shot. Like in Pokemon Snap, if you're able to get more than one interesting thing in the frame at once, you earn more points with a single snap. Neither of these urban champions earns you much on their own, but together they're valuable. And here's the third and final type of special shot. If you're targeting anything that earns you points, the aperture cursor will start blinking. Often this is a hint that some banal background detail is hiding something. Taking pics of any of these windows will reveal their occupant.Clearly, we want to snap these women in the process of undressing, because we're responsible adults. The "Kya!" moment is the time to strike, and doing so earns 500 points and some extra film.Of course, you also have less desirable targets hiding behind the windows. Which isn't to denigrate the look this sassy zaftig lady is going for, but she does throw painful plant pots at you.The other special thing on this stage are the many fire hydrants. They blend into the background quite easily, but snapping them is worth a decent amount of points and sends them gushing. It's not all about the big dumb set-pieces: there's a lot of smaller stuff that all adds up. Back to the big dumb stuff. Here's The Terminator. He's just hanging out.Snap a photo and he somehow loses his skin. Snap his endoskeleton for another big score. I guess Terminators work the same way as the Itchy and Scratchy robots? (Heh, with a dry cool wit like that I could be an acti-)The robber's worth more than the cop, since he runs off pretty quick. That graffiti, though.Oh hey, more window things. This cat will quickly leap out the window after you reveal him, and he's worth a lot if you catch him early.And the last thing is Latino Kunio-kun here macking on some broad. As with the undressing lady, there's a split-second window to snap them as they kiss. Oh, and I guess Michael Jackson is here too.As with before, I barely scrape through what with all the screencapping I'm doing and we're off to the slightly less insane Stage 3. And by "less" I mean "more". It's a theme park!
Fortunately we hit our goal target and so it's off to the next stage. It's likely he's giving you a more detailed report of your score, perhaps with a few probing questions about the amount of unnecessary nudity, but I'll be darned if I can read a single kana of it. Pepsiman? VGK? ...Bueller?
Hell if I know. Kana on its own is a pain in the ass to read, and what I can make out doesn't make a lot of sense when it comes together. The grammar's fucking with me in oh so many ways. From what I can tell, he's criticizing you?
@video_game_king: I suppose a screenshot blog about capturing weird shit in games covering a game that is about taking pictures of weird shit is somewhat meta. All it needs is an austere bald guy to come along and judge my screen-capping skills.
Also, I guess I talked up the weirdness in Stage 3 too much. Despite the setting, there's way fewer dumb references to find and barely anything licentious. Still plenty of goofy shit though.
Fair Enough
A persistent thing with this level are small stellar objects flying across the night sky. Some are fireworks and are worth a lot to capture mid-explosion, some are shooting stars and are even harder to snap in time and the rest, like the above, are meteors that cause untold levels of destruction hundreds of miles away. But the carnival's in town and we don't need to concern ourselves with that.The juggler will eventually drop a bowling a pin on his head for a humiliating photo that'll probably spell the end of his career as an entertainer - it's one of those cases where you just need to be patient.The flowers are like the hydrants of the last stage: They're plentiful but hard to spot among everything else sometimes. Snapping one just as it opens like this nets you bonus film.There's Peter Pan. His erratic flight makes him hard to pin down, but he shows up a few times in this level.Unlike that juggler, this trampolinist will only fall if you distract him with a photo. He's worth points and gives you film so who cares if he gets hurt?If you time the tiger's flaming hoop jump just right, it's a huge earner.A lot going on here: First, we have our stern professor moonlighting as some kind of dancing loon. We have a clown that will let go of all his balloons if you distract him with a photo and there's a very difficult shot to make of a rollercoaster as it makes those loop-the-loops in the background.This intelligent-looking fellow is fired out of a cannon very quickly, so it's hard to grab him (you can still see the distressed clown from the previous screenshot here too).It's important not to take a shot of this distant tightrope walker right away, since she'll be worth very little right now. We're not interested in watching people at their most competent after all.A few seconds later, she falls off for a valuable picture opportunity. Where's your Jesus now?Here are the fireworks. They start coming thick and fast towards the end of the stage and are worth a heck of a lot.The Ferris Wheel ain't much to talk about until an enormous man in green clothes walks by and somehow unmoors it. He'll be in Mexico until this thing blows over.No clue who this performer is, though given the time period most of these references are coming from I wouldn't be surprised if she's meant to be Madonna. There's a sneaky plane in the sky that's worth a few points too.But this is the sneakiest: It's extremely hard to see this silhouette of Elliot and his interplanetary pal until they pass by the moon in that iconic fashion they do - at which point you're usually too late to act on it. One of those "second time through" scenarios.So here's what I'm most curious about translating: The actual stats up there. I'm assuming the first number is the total amount of shots taken and the second is how many "special" scenes I captured?Regardless, I passed the stage with flying colors. Well, flying somethings anyway. Next stage? It's about to get The Life Aquatic.
So here's what I'm most curious about translating: The actual stats up there. I'm assuming the first number is the total amount of shots taken and the second is how many "special" scenes I captured?
I think he's saying something like "Out of 51, 10 of these photos are well taken"?
Part four and I only just remembered to spoiler block all these so people don't have to scroll too much. How long have I been doing this, again?
There'll Be No Accusations, Just Friendly Crustaceans
Welcome to, uh, the sea. Good thing I don't breathe through my nose, I guess. That guy riding a turtle? Turns into an old man. Worth more after the transformation. (This guy is actually based on the story of Urashima Tarou. There was bound to be some Japanese folklore in here somewhere. Or at least some that I'd recognize.)This mermaid is only worth a decent score during the brief moment she's looking at you. Happens right at the edge of the screen too. These levels are definitely getting harder (and there are way more flashing objects too, I can assure you).Most of the passers-by are regular guys wearing SCUBA gear, but this one is just a straight up watery corpse taking a stroll.As is this guy. He'll eventually swim off the screen, somehow.You might've spotted the head of a Sperm Whale in the previous screencap. Well, take a picture of him and it turns out it's Monstro, still holding Pinocchio hostage in his stomach. I guess that's a little strange?These giant clam shells are like those windows from the New York stage, in that you need to waste a photo to open them up and then hope for the best.Goddammit.That's more like it. I'll take the Birth of Venus over the Birth of Penis any day.Here we have fish playing Go Fish. Go figure. Another example where timing is everything. That guy in the distance isn't worth a whole lot right now......but his misfortune after getting grabbed by a shark is way more valuable.This level has an absurd amount of silhouettes. We can see a submarine in the distance here.Which, of course, becomes visible once you snap it.There's a quick-moving wreck at the back and more of these hard-to-avoid harpoons.Oh, right, those other silhouettes. It's a fish wedding. The little fish holding up the bride's train are adorable.More of these hit-or-miss targets. I can't read the writing, but I imagine it says something along the lines of "you lose, asshole".Only the middle chest will actually earn you points. More to memorize for a second run.If you snap one of the various octopus pots in this stage, a whole bunch of angelfish pour out. Every angelfish is worth 100 points, which usually isn't worth wasting film on, but when you can snap several at once like this it's suddenly worthwhile.For some reason this is the only pot with an eel in it. Creepy thing.I took a hell of a lot of pictures here. I mostly blame that on the pufferfish: You need to take three shots of them to make them inflate so much that they explode (and drop film). Kind of harsh, but I've disregarded so much human suffering already that a few dead fish aren't going to phase me. Hooray for desensitization!
(This guy is actually based on the story of Urashima Tarou. There was bound to be some Japanese folklore in here somewhere. Or at least some that I'd recognize.)
You mean the one where he goes to the Palace of the Dragon King and returns 10,000 years in the future, but gets a treasure chest that allows him one last peak at that former glory, or some shit? I vaguely remember that. One of the few Japanese folk tales that doesn't involve men forcing angels into marrying them by stealing their clothes while they're bathing, only to hide these clothes in roof beams where they'll very easily be found much later.
Yes, it's a VERY specific trope that occurs in Japanese fiction.
@slag: Actually, just photography in general in video games has always been a big selling point for me from the PlayStation era onward. I could rattle off a bunch of games I rate very highly that either focus on photography or employ it as some sort secondary side-quest mini-game type feature.
Meanwhile, I believe I have one more update in me for today:
Maybe I Used My "Video Games are Art" Joke Too Soon
The difficulty ramps up considerably at this point. You can no longer afford to simply dodge most flashing items now: the bees and spiders in this stage chase you relentlessly and are worth quite a bit, so it's best to remove them as they appear.Oh the photo opportunity! I mean, "humanity"! Whatever that is!Rodan's Thinker here is actually just snoozing. If you can catch his snoring snot bubble it's worth some extra film.Scattered among the statues in the background of this garden is our old friend the Moai head. If you wait until he starts spitting out rings like his pals in Gradius, they're worth even more points.I don't think this is a statue. I think this is-Yep. Still after my gams, I suspect. Where's Chris Hansen when he's sorely needed?This sarcophagus has a groovy mummy inside. He's one of a quick chain of art-based snaps to get in the museum proper.I actually don't recognize this sculpture, but he yawns after a few seconds.Snapping Munch's Scream in the background is a rookie error: The real thing comes careening by just a moment later and is worth way more.Haniwa are little clay figurines found all across Japan. You might know them better as Animal Crossing's gyroids. As is the case with those adorable things, this guy jiggles when you walk near him.The self-portrait of moody ol' Van Gogh will start emitting smoke rings eventually.Here we have three exhibits on the trot which require very fast timing: J-Dawg starts boogieing almost as soon as he appears, Ms. De Milo briefly grows arms to scratch herself on the back and that creepy bug-eyed orange statue is a Doguu - which, like the Haniwa, can be found all over Japan and no-one is quite sure why. I guess they're inescapable if you grew up over there.Last but not least is Da Vinci's Mona Lisa: best known for her subtle, understated expression.I'll tell ya, this was a close run thing. I mean, they've all been, but this one was legitimately down to the wire just while playing normally.
Stage 6 is on a beach. Surely there won't be too much gratuitous nudity to be found here. Sigh.
Once More Unto the Beach, Dear Bombers, Once More
The moles here fulfill what I'm starting to think is a role created during the testing process to ensure this game is not as incredibly difficult as it might have otherwise been. Though they only pop their heads up briefly, each one awards you bonus film and there's quite a few of them to ensure you never run out (unless you miss all of them or get hit a lot).This water-skier will fall off and vanish under the water at some point. Could not for the life of me snap him mid-disaster (which is usually what the game prefers).Yep, there's Bruce. Best to get him out of the way with early, I suppose.Yep.I have to call foul here: Nessie is not a seawater creature. It's also not real, so I guess there's not a lot to get worked up over.Parasailing Guy is the same situation as the water-skier, though it's easier to snap him as he falls. Eh, this doesn't seem quite as brutal as snapping the demise of that tightrope walker.Here we have two familiar sights: that persistent sex fiend and more mermaids. This game and mermaids, I swear.Better snap this before the Sy-Fy channel beats me to it.Drowning Guy gives you plenty of time to line up a shot, but it's easy to miss the falling space pod as a result.Surfing Guy is unfortunately obscured by the tree, so it's hard to get a decent pic of him.That periscope's worth a lot. Guess he's kind of hard to spot?Here we have a horrific ship collision and a stranded man calling for help. We'll snap a few pictures and just walk on by. What are we, the Coast Guard?WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKAn enormous man rising out of the ocean might've got me had it happened a little earlier. Now I just feel dead inside.Yeah, yeah, another ocean rescue. Precise timing, hard to get, worth a lot, etc. etc.Don't even, dude. It's been a trying day. (Though that particular dark-skinned fellow has actually popped up a few times on these end of level screens. Still messed up. Dang it, Japan.)
The game suddenly gets all Fatal Frame on us. These skeletal spooks in the background aren't worth a whole lot, but sometimes a Frankenstein's Monster will pop up instead and he's worth way more.Drac here is only worth a decent amount mid-flight, and he moves really quick.There's a few witches floating around the background. They give you speed bonuses, which can be handy with the parade of flashing objects the game is throwing around liberally at this point.No idea what this castle is screaming, but I hope there's a kanji for "miserable little pile of secrets".Regan's an odd one. She's not worth a whole lot while looking away or while laughing maniacally at you like this. I think the idea is to snap her while her head is spinning. It might be a little hard to spot here, but there's wisps floating by with faces on them: they're another easy source of bonus film but only if you catch them in their brief face-forms.This street filled with elms is a nightmare because of all these spiked glove hands popping out unexpectedly. That's along with the various bloody swords, jumping skulls, hopping jack o' lanterns, bats and coffins to avoid too.One of the many mostly harmless flame wisps has a green tint to it and when photographed will burst open to reveal a huge number of goofy ghosts. Every single one is worth around 500 points and a power-up/bonus film. I'd say this shot is the one absolute necessity for this stage.This coyote's not hard to spot, but he's not worth anything until......this point of the screen, when he starts howling in Japanese. He's almost off the screen at this point, so it's a toughie.The coffins are like the mystery containers found on other stages, but I couldn't get the last one to open for whatever reason.Instead of Frankie, the only big earner among the background spooks for this part of the stage is that daft Tex Avery knock-off.I guess we aren't done with the Jacko appearances, though if you were going to riff on Thriller this would be the place to do it. Don't take a shot of him yet though, because......he'll eventually spawn some back-up dancers and start boogieing. Last best chance for some extra points here, since all three give you a sizable score while dancing.The absolute last shot is this creepy giant eye. You might've seen it on one of the end-of-level appraisals.Like this one. 83 total shots gives you some idea of how many photos you need to take just to keep away the dozens of flashing hazards in these later stages (and how necessary it is to find anything in the background that gives you additional film).
Of one of the more consistent earners - but only if you snap them both - are those vultures dropping cans on you. Hey, times were tough back then. In the past. That we've magically traveled back to.These little signs pop up as you pass them. Whoever this goodwife person is, she's being chased by a bull in the background.Yup, there she goes. Plenty of opportunities to record her misery for posterity.Here's a racially-sensitive scalping. Comically, the Native American goes a little overboard. And by comically I do, of course, mean horrifically.The non-hostile buzzards can be knocked out with a flash, sending them spiraling to the ground. They started this war.The totem pole is four shots in one: After each, the bottom segment flies away like so many Pokeys. Handy place to stock up on film.See? Now there's only three blocks and a nice +5.Probably didn't need to take this many caps of the totem pole. I think you all got it.So there's a cowboy that rides by pretty quick......And he's chased by this Native. Next time you see the two the positions are reversed: Maybe the cowboy remembered that he had a gun?If you're exceptionally quick, you can snap this duel while the bullets are still flying. You can see just how much this shot is worth from the screencap. Wowza.Of course, you earn a ludicrous 8000 points if you manage to snap the guy on the left just as he crumples. I suppose it's the equivalent of that Vietnamese guy getting shot. This game never ceases to get darker, somehow.You can have fun snapping this tin can over and over. It isn't worth much but it pings up every time like it's just been shot. Which I suppose it has? Just so we can move on from that macabre scene with the shootout, here's a hanging corpse.You can shoot it down if you'd like, but it kind of looks like we're too late. Oh, and I guess our sneaky professor is here tying one on.In true Mad Dog McCree fashion, you can knock a gunman off a roof onto a pile of hay below. Wouldn't have felt like a Wild West stage without it.112 goddamn pictures. You didn't need to see most of them. Everything in that town was trying to kill me.
Excellent, I can end this LP already. He goes the last chapter:
Whack-A-Prof
So I guess this is the final boss? The only goal here is to continually snap your professor, who has apparently gone insane, as soon as he pops up. He's very quick but you happen to have infinite film for this stage, so you can take advantage of the brief pauses snapshots take to quickly get over to wherever he's appearing next.The goal for the last stage is a lofty 150,000, but each shot of the professor is worth 5000. That's 30 hits in about two minutes, not including all the pauses the camera takes. Even with my trick I barely scrape by.And so I present the ending. I have no idea what's being said, so I'll extrapolate from the images until someone crazy enough wants to step in and explain any of this. Clearly the Professor is happy that I indulged in his psychotropic madness for a few minutes. I've totally had college professors like this guy.I guess we're being told that we're getting a transfer to Pokémon U?Japanese signs are often found together with American flags. Maybe we've been at the US Embassy the whole time?And out of nowhere the game's tragic backstory comes to the fore: We've been taking pictures of traffic collisions, corpses, half-naked women, really unfortunate racial stereotypes and a serial rapist to honor our deceased parents. This game, goddamn.Back to grinning creepily as I make my way across America. Or Japan. I don't even know at this point.Hey, I guess I headlined a gallery of my creepy bullshit. Hope these Aryans appreciate all the trouble I went to to invade people's privacy.
Kind of a neat, artistic shot to end on. My hat, my camera and my diploma. I'm guessing my hanging body is off screen somewhere.
So that's Gekisha Boy. It has a few problems: there's often way too much going on in the screen to make out anything in time to snap it; the flashing obstacles get incredibly obnoxious in their speed and number in later levels; and the hit detection somehow manages to be the least predictable thing in a game filled with unpredictable things. But it has a really interesting core conceit and is kind of cool in that bizarre Japanese manner which used to make games like this the sort of thing you'd want to fork out $50+ to import just because there was nothing else like it over here. It's a shame it never saw a US release, because the TurboGrafx-16 really needed all it could get, but given all the prurience and flagrant copyright flaunting I suppose it wouldn't have been easy. Not without a lot of changes, anyway.
Thanks for following along if you've read the comments this far. Next month I'll probably continue to find out what else lies in the vast PC Engine-exclusive library: I'm not kidding when I say there's about three PC Engine games to every TurboGrafx-16 one, and that's just for games that were released on HuCard. There's a reason the console did a lot better in Japan, and it's not because they got games where you can photograph a woman's bare ass.
@slag: Yep. This game reminded me a lot of Michigan: Report from Hell for some reason. Just the idea that you'd be dropped into this serious situation and spend the whole time using a camera to leer at half-nude women and record really messed up stuff. Then again, Michigan was planned by Suda51. I wonder if he had a hand in Gekisha Boy too?
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