Quick Look: Blue Estate

surprising that they couldn't get an italian guy to atleast be the VO for an italian character.

This game looks like one of the largest piles of garbage to ever fester. Even watching Jeff and Dan play it was super boring, and it's not even their fault.

I still haven't finished the 5th movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the other 4, but this one was just too much.

Anyway, this game looks awful. Area-51 is the best light gun game... probably because it's the first one I played.

Die Hard 3 is still the best of the DH films. The 4th one I liked and think it gets unwarranted hate cause it's not rated R. The 5th one is an absolute shit show.

I agree, Die Hard 3 is the best of the Die Hard sequels. That's obviously what you meant to say, I mean nobody could possibly think Die Hard With a Vengeance was better than the original Die Hard, that would be ridiculous...

This is bad...this is real bad.

Nothing wrong with releasing one of this games every few years, but then just do a new Time Crisis instead of this shit. This is just bad. In many ways.

Also great question asking if 32k is how much her breasts are worth. Dan's the best.

Oh and just to be clear: Die Hard > Die Hard 3 > Die Hard 2. Everything else is irrelevant, especially the atrocity that is Die Hard 5.

Not to add to the overdone reference humor already abundant in the QL itself but, boy, this comments section escalated quickly.

If you see any post that breaks the forum rules -- one with a transphobic comment, let's say -- just flag that shit and walk away. Do not engage them with insults. That just means we have to delete twice as many posts.

Also the first three Die Hards are fine movies. People might've given the second one a hard time back in the day, but the more recent crappier entries really put things into perspective. Sort of like the Indiana Jones movies in that regard.

I think most of the Giant Bomb staff are above shooting cats in video games, especially in video games as tacky and tasteless as this one, though I'm surprised Jeff didn't at try it once for gits and shiggles.

I feel like I saw a demo of this game, like, 5 years ago.

The demo (which was just this level) was garbage. I had to keep hitting centering the crosshair every few seconds, and the slight (less than half a second) delay between moving the controller and the the crosshair moving on screen was unbearable. On top of that, the game tries so hard to be funny/edgy that it falls flat literally every time. Like Jeff, the only thing I thought was remotely funny was "Warning Headshot" the first time I saw it.

I'm surprised Dan doesn't love House of the Dead Overkill. I guess he never got a GOREGASM.

Are you transgender?

Almost from minute one I had to skim through this thing because it was so embarrassing and awful. This is pretty definitive an example of edginess, guns, tits, pulp, etc. without any substance to even begin to justify it. When working with material like this it takes a lot of good work to earn it. This is as far away from that as you can get.

I sure hope that whoever was responsible for making this takes a real hard look at themselves and what they "contributed" to the medium with this. Unless we can extract good discussion out of this I can't see how else we gained anything by having this exist.

Dan liked Die Hard 4? I can't listen to Dan talk about food or movies... or watch him play puzzle games...

I thought Die Hard 4 was generally regarded as a bad movie? So how can 5 be worse?

Also, that hair thing really bothers me for some reason. I get like a Pavlovian response that instantly brings me back to a time when I had longish hair and UGH GET THAT SHIT OUT OF MY EYES.

I was fucking crushed at how terrible DH5 was. I mean, holy shit is it bad. Even as just a standard action movie, it's barely passable. I love the rest of the franchise (and yes, DH4 kicks ass...probably my second favorite after the original), and I was so looking forward it, but I never in a million years expected what the actual result was. Fuck, man....I hope Die Hardest can end the franchise with a bang. The original screenplay that's out there right now sounds really promising.

@mooseymcman: Reminder this is a person who thinks Terminator 2 AND 3 are better than 1.

@onekillwonder_: Dude, by any standards, DH5 is an absolute tragedy. The fact that it's a Die Hard movie only adds injury to injury.

You mean someone with good taste?

Well, there's a good contender for worst game of the year.

People defend it because they think it flies in the face of some sort "PC culture" that they so desperately hate. They defend crass, offensive shit like this because they think "hey, people should be able to joke about anything!" Which is fine but if they actually cared about good humor and the art of comedy, they'd condemn this game for being the pile of shit that it is.

Adults wrote this. And then some other adults read this and thought it was funny.

Why would that matter at all?

Also, to the poster who said "any press is good press" -- Duke Nukem Forever would disagree with you. Or, at least, if there's anyone out there who said "I bought this game at release because I heard you get to slap wall-boobs", I hope to never associate with them. ;)

Jesus fucking christ this game!

I liked Revolution X a bunch.

I played the demo for this game, and thought it was terrible. The controls just sucked, but someone mentioned holding the controller Infamous spray can style to make it work well, so i may redownload it one day and try that.

The comedians in Off World Interceptor were Brian Posehn and Doug Benson.

Blue Estate is straight from the Mark Millar school of Fucking Garbage Comic Books so no wonder the game is just as terrible. I thought it wouldn't get worse from the awful sexism / sex worker shaming but then they threw in a transphobic joke!

It's that kind of horseshit backwards touchy-feely-everyone-can-be-right thinking that's ruining the language. Remember how "literally" was recently modified so it could also mean the exact opposite meaning of the word? FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Oh, and on topic: This game seems desperately unfunny, clunky and not very entertaining as a game.

Boy I don't know why its so hard for writers in any medium to get the exploitation film vibe right. They all break the cardinal rule which is that a good piece of exploitation media should NOT be self aware. The self-seriousness of the work is what makes it unintentionally funny.

I think you're spot on.

Die Hard 1 is the best Die Hard, Terminator 1 is the best Terminator, and Temple of Doom is unquestionably worse than Indiana Jones 4. All y'all get bopped.

Also this game is garbage. The jokes are horrid in more ways than one.

This has literally been happening since before English was a language. It's far from a recent "touchy-feely" culture thing. If I called this game awful, you wouldn't think I am actually in awe of the game or feel a sense of wonder from seeing it, right? It's just a really bad game, not awe-full.

Man, why don't they QL good, cool games? This seems like 100% garbage.

Euughhhh, this game is just.. jeez

They're porcelain figurines, not actual cats. I love cats, but who doesn't love shattering glass and porcelain knick-knacks in video games?

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I find the quantity of people being professionally offended in comments a bit silly, but whatever.

I thought Blood Dragon did the joke tutorial thing pretty well.

Blood Dragon did a lot of things pretty well.

@elwoodan: I think to do tutorial jokes well you need to have a decent game as the foundations. Otherwise what you get is humour bolted on top of a shoddy thing to make it appear less shoddy.

I mean, if your game has terrible graphics because you tried and failed you don't go "Oh geeze look how bad our graphics are" whereas if it's a design choice for your game to look like everyone's head is a cube you can draw attention to it and not earn a "urgh" from the player. I think humour is obviously a very difficult thing to get right and should never appear thrown in at the last moment to avoid questions of your games failings.

That's possibly the worst main menu I've seen in years. Just uck. What was this dev thinking with... every part of this game?

People wrote and designed this game, and others actually approved of the decisions being made. That's the most dismaying part of this.

This isn't just campiness. It's outright crappiness.

Red Steel 2 was actually pretty neat from what I remember. You were able to much more easily pull a sword and then switch back to your gun, and it was much more responsive. But yeah, at that point in the Wii's life everyone was WAAAY OVER motion controls, AND everyone remembers being burned on Red Steel 1. I do wish we could see more from the franchise but seeing as the first 2 were completely 100% different, I don't think even Ubisoft would have any good ideas for it

It matters because that person is saying only trans people can decide if something is offensive or not so if they're not trans their whole argument is pointless and kind of paradoxical. At least that's what I'm assuming.

I'm the guy who said any press is good press. Obviously that's not blanket true, but for a game like this that I'm guessing nobody's ever heard of (I know when I loaded up GB this morning I had no idea what "Blue Estate" was.) then yes you could easily argue any press is good press. DNF is a bit different because that whole debacle came after Duke Nukem was already established as a pretty popular and beloved franchise, and shit, you could argue the little it sold was better than it would have been if it wasn't "that one game that's been in production for 20 years" and it was called Bronson Hardtack Forever or something.

Pretty telling that the game had trouble communicating that that door was blocked by 3 planks of wood. It took me up until about the time that they blew open the door to figure out what that was supposed to be.

Oh shit, the universal arbiter of Die Hard, Terminator and Indiana Jones! Nobody told us you'd be coming or we'd have... turned off the lights and pretended we weren't home 'till you left. =P

I'll agree on Dia Hard, go as far as a tie-for-worst-place on Temple vs. Skull and I don't even think Terminator 1 and 2 are good comparisons to fight over.

Awe is a feeling that inspires amazement and dread so being awful (which isn't even spelled right for the example given) makes sense rather than not. Although I do agree with your point in the first place so I guess I'll just shut up.

(This is all meant to be teasing not trying to rile you up!)

Yeah, it looked like light in the distance or something like that.

yup

What I got out of it was that they were referring to the original joke itself, because it's definitely true that cis people shouldn't be able to decide whether or not a joke about trans people is offensive or not.

Not to step into a hornet's nest here, but isn't there something to be said for allowing a minority to decide what is and isn't offensive to them, and then asking the majority of a population to respect that, within a reasonable boundary? I don't necessarily think that those decisions should be unassailable or monolithic, and obviously the opinions of extremists on either side should probably be discounted, but giving the majority of a population the ability to decide what is and isn't offensive to a minority seems to often result in situations like the Redskins name debate (and as a Redskins fan, I totally think they should change the name) or these kinds of awkwardnesses.

I mean, the last thing I could google turned up a figure of the transgender population of the U.S. to be 0.3%. At that percentage, it's likely that most US adults could lead their lives without ever coming into close contact with a transgender individual, in which case their opinions about what would be acceptable or not acceptable to that group would likely be formed primarily by the media or Reddit memes or forum posts rather than what transgender individuals actually find offensive or inoffensive.

Asking any group of people to have a unanimous opinion on this kind of stuff is impossible, but it's usually beneficial to at least get a sense of what a decent percentage of a minority population find offensive before slinging words around. Although I guess that only applies to people who actually care what effect their words have on people who read/hear them.

Oh wow, these gunshot sounds are so bad

Everybody knows that nonplussed just means you aren't voiced in IRC.

TOO LATE, I'M RILED!

I was actually elected Arbiter of Die Hard, Terminator, and Indiana Jones through popular vote at college, so...I guess the egg is on your face there, Mr. Snarky Snarkpot.

I'm not sure what you mean by awful being spelled wrong. Being full of awe, or "awe-full/awe-ful", clearly led to the word awful, and aweful/awefull isn't a word...I dunno what you're getting at there. And in this instance I'm using awful to mean quite the opposite of amazement and dread. "Awe" doesn't even come into my feelings of the game one way or another. Awe would be what I'd feel seeing a violent tempest on the high seas--this game doesn't give me a similar feeling. To make my point clearer here, I think we can both agree that awe usually has positive connotations and awful usually has negative connotations, which plays into my overall point that you agreed with, you bugger. Awful used to mean one thing, now it means almost-but-not-quite the opposite (to drive this home, awesome means about the same thing as awful used to mean--yet they're very different words now because awful morphed over the years). Just like literally!

@zipperface said: Everybody knows that nonplussed just means you aren't voiced in IRC.