Bayonetta

I have just beaten this game and let me tell you that by action game standards, it is by no means a short experience.  The total time clocked me in at 14:30 on the normal difficulty, even longer than it took me to beat Ninja Gaiden the first time through.  Still, that didn't stop me from doing it all in one sitting.  From the start of the game, it had its hair-made hooks in me and they only got tighter as I got farther and farther to the point where I'm going to be on a messed up sleep cycle for my last semester of college in 2 days.  You already know what this game is.  A reader review isn't the first thing you will have read on this game so I'll assume you know the basics and skip the filler.   Instead, lets skip to the main thing that will turn people off from (or in some sad cases onto) this game.  
 
The overt emphasis on as much nakedness as possible is done in this game in a way that is in some cases erotic, but mostly a successful parody of that very theme.  Maybe if this were a game starring weird schoolgirls or something a-la Onechanbara, it might be a different story.  However, in a setting of angels versus magical dominatrix librarian/younger Sarah Palin lookalike, the scenes focused on the oversexed nature of the main character have a far different tone.  At those scenes, and there is a lot of them, I was laughing my ass of at the absurdity of it far more than I was turned on.  And there is plenty of absurdity to go around in this game.  On the very first level, I was already floored by how effing crazy everything was.  Still, that insane-ometer just got turned up more and more as the game went on to the point where at the ends of each of the later levels, I didn't think the game could possibly top what it had just done.  Without fail, it did though.  Every single level is more off the wall and awesome than the last.  The boss fights later on are so epic and significant that I had actually thought I fought the last boss twice before I got to the real thing.  I'm getting dangerously close to spoiler territory here so I'll just move right along to the weapons.
 
You begin the game with a gun on each of your limbs.  Starting on the second level, you collect pieces of disks when assembled, unlocks a new weapon for your hands.  There are also new weapons that you can buy to replace the guns on your feet.  There are plenty of levels where I haven't assembled the full set, but so far I've unlocked a pair of shotguns, an awesome sword, a very meh whip, and a pair of badass gauntlets that I spent the rest of the game using almost exclusively along with it's foot counterpart.  That's just my preference though.  There are a ton of different ways to combine weapons, each into an effective killing machine.  When you introduce the accessories that do anything from increase your health, to give you a shield, to allow you to summon little devil minions to fight alongside you, what you're left with is hundreds of combinations of weapons, each of which make the game a different experience.   Not only that, but there's costumes, books, new difficulties, and a bunch of other stuff to collect and legitimize playing through it many, many times.
 
I won't keep going over all the things I think are amazing about this game since you surely already know about them and I don't want to make this thing eight pages long.  Still, there are a few minor blemishes that keep the game from being perfect and will probably annoy some people a lot.  Every now and then, you'll come across a quick-time sequence to jump from someplace you really don't want to be anymore.  The sheer fact that these are so few and far between is what made me fail almost every one of them the first time through: I just wasn't expecting them.  Still, the game does at least do a good job of respawning you just before the jump so it's not that big of a inconvenience.  In the rest of the game as well in fact, Bayonetta does a good job of Farrah-ing you out of death whenever you take what would otherwise be a fatal fall.  Every now and then, you'll come across a vehicle section and I won't spoil what they are because they are fun as hell.  As fun as they are though, these sections are not nearly as polished as the rest of the game and these were the only parts of the game where I died and felt like it wasn't totally my fault.  
 
Those small negative points aside, this is the most stylistic, funny, pretty, and even best playing action game available today on any system.  It saddens me to admit, but Ninja Gaiden, my favorite action game of all time, has been bested in every way.  Hell, Bayonetta even exploits female sexuality better.  It only being a week old, this game has no trouble being the best one of 2010, but unless other developers pull out all the stops this year, it's going to stay that way.