I love the holiday of Thanksgiving, but let's be honest, Turkey is the worst choice of meat you can have. It's always disappointing whenever you see this you bite into a dry piece of turkey, and try to neutralize it's awfulness by dowsing it in gravy and stuffing. Anyways... you guys love end of the year lists, right? So why not a "Most Disappointing Things of 2011".... except holiday themed.... right?
The Biggest Turkeys of 2011
Video Games
Video Games (DisHonorable Mentions):
- Duke Nukem Forever: Sure, I wasn't expecting the greatest FPS of all time from Duke Nukem, but the final product of the game was a mess. Extremely old multiplayer, loading in between levels, horrible dick jokes, uninteresting scenarios, and bad frame rate. The biggest crime is that there was no full on behind the scenes feature, because I would love to know what the hell caused this dull game to be delayed for so long.
- Red Faction Armageddon: Aw man, I loved that open world mars game from two years ago... oh you took out the open world? Great.
- X-Men Destiny: Oh sweet, the Silicon Knights guys are going to get back on their feet by making an X-Men RPG game... except it's a mediocre button masher
Most Disappointing Game: Dragon Age II
The Escapist : Zero Punctuation : Dragon Age II
Dragon Age: Origins is perhaps my favorite RPG this generation (until I get my hands on Skyrim). It was long, strategic, and open. So what kind of "improvements" did Bioware make to the sequel? How about turn the strategy behind the game and turn it into a button masher, and take all of the open world stuff and force you go to the same exact place over and over again. As long as we can rush out a sequel, people will buy it, right? Instead, this game tarnished the Dragon Age brand for everyone that loved the first game.
Music
Music (DisHonorable Mentions):
- Lupe Fiasco - Lasers : Lupe Fiasco's first CD is something that I'm not afraid to say is one of my favorite rap albums of the last decade. It was the last rap album I really connected to before I abandoned the whole genre entirely. When Lupe's second album came out, I listened and somewhat enjoyed. But this album feels like a reaction to his one commercially successful song, which meant every song sounds like some crappy radio song. It doesn't help that he ruined Modest Mouse's "Float On".
- Lou Reed & Metallica - Lulu : Neither of these two names has made anything of quality since the 80's, but when you saw that Lou Reed and Metallica was making an album together, the first thing that popped into my head was "Huh, I bet that's going to be crazy". Yes, it is crazy, but is also impossible to listen to.
Most Disappointing Album: Radiohead - The King of Limbs
I don't care if you're a fan or not of Radiohead, you have to admit that 2007's "In Rainbows" was one of the better albums of that year. Radiohead has four albums that would make any music critics all time favorites list, so any release from them is something to look forward too. However, what we got from them this year was a steaming pile of unlistenable shit. It was only eight songs long, the drum loops were too complicated, they abandoned guitars, and Thom Yorke's mumbling throughout the album drives me insane. Phooey.
Movies
Movies (DisHonorable Mentions):
Cars 2 : Damnit Pixar, I let you get away with the first Cars, but this movie somehow made me lose respect for the Pixar brand. Shame on you for cashing in a dull movie for money.
- Captain America : Thor was surprisingly awesome, this movie was not.
- Green Lantern : This comic book movie was straight up awful.
Most Disappointing Movie: The Hangover II
Hangover was a surprisingly fun, dumb comedy movie. Anything that makes Zach Galifinakis a star is ok in my book. I was a bit hesitant to see the rushed sequel, but I laughed a few times during the trailer, and planned accordingly to go into the midnight screening of The Hangover II drunk. I'm not making this part up, towards the end of The Hangover II, I proceded to yell at the movie screen that "THIS IS THE SAME GOD DAMNED MOVIE AS THE FIRST ONE". Sure, might have been a bit harsh, but it was a true statement. Every story element in this movie is exactly the same as the first movie... it was like the script writers played Mad Libs to write this movie.
Wrestling
Wrestling (Oh yeah, I'm including wrestling.):
- Wrestlemania XXVII - The Undertaker/HHH match was fine, but the rest was extremely dull. The Miz is main eventing at Wrestlemania? Snooki is in a match? Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler? Absolutely unacceptable matches to be thrown into the biggest event of the year.
- TNA In General - Seriously, where the fuck did Alex Shelley go? Crimson is awful, and them forcing the "Winning Streak" angle on us is worse. Samoa Joe is booked horribly. The X Division now has a weight limit. Hogan is back to his backstage antics. This show is awful in general. It's picked up a little bit in the past month by having Roode and Storm being the top two guys, but man....
- Summer of Punk ruined - CM Punk changed the wrestling industry in one month. Then, WWE changed it back to business as usual within the next month.
Most Disappointing Wrestling Moment: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting
This is the definition of a train wreck. Jeff Hardy shows up to the PPV completely drugged up, and he's supposed to be in the main event with Sting. Sting basically forces the end of the match within a minute and TNA does the right thing and fires Hardy for disgracing the TNA brand. Except that last part never happened. Jeff Hardy is still working for TNA, even though he ruined the main event and cost all of the customers of that $40 TNA PPV their trust in that organization. Absolutely Horrible.
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