THE PS3 DOESN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO FINISH THE RACE
a thread by jethrovegas... perhaps it will find a better home here
Now I know that the system war is supposed to be a war between all systems, but let's face it: the real war is between the 360 and the PS3.
Only geeks and otaku play on the PC, and the Wii is a casual noob system, so that really only leaves us these two console power houses to fight about.
I, for one, have thrown my hat in with OUR THE XBOX 360 a system that cannont be beat!
Here are 10 reasons why the PS3 FAILS.
10.It doesn't have the speed
All cows have is a lame GT5 demo, whilst the 360 has already had several fantastic racing games. It's also about to get Forza 3, a leaked screenshot of which can be found above.
9. Women are more attractive on the 360
Cortana baby, nuff' said. No pale sword swingin' dog ho can compare to this digital diva!
Look at the way those darker data streams cover those lighter data streams; yeahh boi!!! Somewhere out there in the world there is an uprising right now.... like in my pants...
8. Metal Gear Solid makes no damn sense
The cows big game is MGS4; too bad it's not a game at all, but rather a movie produced by a punch of drug addicted 5 year olds with ADD who had trouble paying attention because they had ADD and trouble writing because they were 5 years old and drug addicted! Seriously man, that plot is more convoluted than Joan River's surgery record, and as such, the PS3 sucks! This game has 22 hours of videos and 3 hours of gameplay! How can you defend that shit?
7. The 360 is more physically sexual
This one doesn't even need 'asplaining. I look at the 360 and say "oh yeah, sexy!" I look at the PS3 and I say "oh yeah, obesity!"
Seriously, I would rather chop my OWN FACE off with a BOAT PROPELLER than look at a PS3 for five seconds.
6. FFXIII will be best on the 360, and it will come out first on 360
You heard it here first; the PS3 version will be delayed by six months AND it will have inferior visuals with a only 23 frames per second visuals and no character lighting AT ALL. This is due to Blu-Ray's inferior storage; you may say, "but wait, doesn't Blu-Ray have 50GBs of space while DVD-9 only has 9? Yes, that's true, but DVD-9s also have what's called 'Fusion Space' where the more DVD-9s you have, the more space you have. I don't know about you, but I'll take 6 DVD-9s with extra 'Fusion Space' over one plain old lame Blu-Ray 50GB anyday of THE WEEK.
5. Blu-Ray is a fad; HD-DVD is on the rise
I've heard alot of bull shit about how HD-DVD is dead, and how Blu-Ray won, and I just have a question: If HD-DVD is dead, then how come they still have a website dip shit? 
Lulz, sometimes I think people on this board know nothing about business....
4. Kratos is a fucking fancy lad
Oh GoW III will be fun, oh Kratos is cool and manly, BULL SHIT.
Kratos is a wuss! He wasn't even voiced by a Spartan, but rather by an African-American guy named Terrence 'T.C.' Carson!
How are supposed to take that character seriously when he isn't even voiced by a real Spartan?
3. RROD is a miniscule issue
33.3%? Bull shit I've only had 2 360s break in 2 years! That's 1 a year, or 1/12 (12 months in a year, you see) of 52 (52 weeks) or 1 out of 12 + 52 times 2 which = 116. 1 out of 116 360s break; that's less than one percent. BFD.
2.When I think "sexual intercourse" I think "Halo 3"
Halo 3 is an insane masterpiece made of all consumning win. Never before has there been such a non-linear, emergent, original, well written, graphically impressive, sexually arousing, beautiful, lovely, shag worthy, insanely cool, fun, amazing, gorgeous, engrossing, philosophical, clever, witty, powerful, non-stop roller coaster ride of an action game like Halo 3. It's like fine literature mixed with fire and death and beauty and love and sex and breasts and guns and asplosions. And guess what? It's an XBOX 360 exclusive until THE DAY it comes out on PC. PWNT.
AND THE NUMERO UNO REASON WHY THE PS3 FAILS IS...
1. WE MIGHT HAVE A SECRET GAME FROM RICHARD ROUNDTREE
I heard a rumour from a source that I cannot disclose that Richard Roundtree may be involved in the creation of some sort of 360 exclusive video game involving Africa. Please note that this is pretty much uncomfirmed, and is third hand information, but it certainly seems interesting and somewhat plausible given his involvement with Africa in the movie Shaft in Africa. My source seemed to think that Roundtree would be in some sort of a directorial position rather than a voice acting one. Time will tell, but for now just call BS on this, and if it goes down, remember that I called it.
______________________________ _______________________________
Shaft!
Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right
Who is the man
That would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Shaft!)
Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
(Shaft!)
Right on
You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
(John Shaft)
XBOX 360 & SHAFT: THEY ARE SEX MACHINES TO ALL THE LADIES
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