Do you find this as a good or bad example of parenting?

So a friend of mine sent me a link to this video.

Frankly my personal feelings are that I fail to see the logic in the way he responded. Yes his daughter humiliated her parents. Yes she has no appreciation towards them, but reacting the same way as she did just shows that you're just as immature as you child. I am a string believer that kids learn behavior patterns from the parents and frankly I am not at all surprised his daughter reacted the way she did. She probably saw the very same behavior from her dad, who through this vid is showing signs of abusive behavior. I get that the dad wanted to teach his child a lesson by taking to the internet in the same manner as her but going as far as shooting the laptop won't teach her anything. In fact it would only show her that it's ok to overreact.

Imho I think he would have done better leaving the matter privet and within the family. A better lesson would have been to either sell the damn thing, or better yet make her get a job and buy back from him and start paying her way around the house to make her realize and appreciate what her parents do for her. Instead of defusing the matter and acting like an adult the dad just went ahead and put further strain on an already strained relationship.

What are your thoughts?

UPDATE: So the dad responded on his facebook page "Truthfully...the social attention has helped her and I both deal with it. We had our discussion about it after she returned home from school. We set the ground rules for her punishment, and then I let her read some of the comments on Facebook with me at my computer. At first it was upsetting. Then as we read it became less so, eventually funny to both of us."

So in short he could have achieved what he wanted to without resorting to extream measures.

This is such a childish move by the dad...

This should have been to the child and the child alone.

100% behind this guy. His daughter sounds like an absolutely ungrateful bitch. This guy is doing what most people don't do these days and that is BE A PARENT and take control of your damn kid. In fact I applaud this man.

I like it! Teenagers are generally shit heads so I'm all for them being taught the hard way, once the kids an actual adult none of this is going to matter anyway, they will probably look back on it and laugh.

Its way to easy for kids now more parents should take the hard line with them, these kids will one day be the generation that leads, yet some can't or don't show even a little respect in their parents.

Is it wrong of me to find it weird that he works in IT with that accent and hat?

First off if you have a problem with him airing his laundry in public to prove a point to his child, Why are you posting a forum topic about it and spreading it around?  
 
Anyway, I help my sister raise her daughter because the father is off doing his own thing somewhere else. She's not a teenager but she is outright disrespectful and failing the first grade. It will only get worse with age, and she is not raised at all to behave that way. 
 
My point is, times are changing and sometimes you do everything you can to make sure your child understands what they're doing is wrong. If it's not working you have to try something else. I do agree it's a tad different to air this to the public, but at the same time he wants to get through to his daughter. Obviously I don't know these people, but if shes as lazy as she sounds she really does need a wake up call. Shes 16? Not to long from now shes going to find life aint so easy if you don't work for it. Being asked to do simple chores isn't asking much- we use similar chores for my neice.  
 
I can see the guy was hurt by his kid, and he's over reacting a little bit because of it, but sometimes you get to the point where you no longer know what to do. You know if you don't do something they will never get it. You can only hope the choices you make in showing them the error of their choices will prepare them, but the hardest thing to face is having to let them make those choices you made when you were their age and have to slog to get to the point where they get it.  
 
It's tough. In this day and age kids have a lot of lee way and in his case, and even mine they don't have it as hard as they think they do. Trying to explain that things will get harder is no simple task I guess. I don't agree with making it public, but I also don't feel he is in the wrong. I applaud that at least he's trying his best to get through to his kid.  
 
He wouldn't do that if he didn't care, and that's what really matters at the end of the day. The worst part about being a parent is you end up being the bad guy- that's just how it is.

Well, that certainly was interesting. I think it was probably a little bit of an overreaction on the father's part -- teenagers are rebellious by nature -- but I'm sure it was effective...

This guy seems like a straight up parent and I like the approach he's taking. His daughter was disrespectful, he returns the favor and her friends get to see it. This could have been private but it definitely wouldn't have affected her like this video is, parents need to think out of the box more.

@Jaytow: And yet you have an avatar with solid snake holding a gun.

Kids bitch about their parents. It's what they do. I did it. I'm sure he did it. And I'm pretty sure everyone posting in this thread did it. They also exaggerate things to their friends. I did it. I'm sure he did it. And I'm pretty sure everyone posting in this thread did it. Maybe she's taken it slightly further than the average kid does, but not by that much. Was she in the wrong? Yeah. Does she deserve to be punished for it? Sure. But does she deserve to be publicly humiliated on this grand scale and have her laptop shot to pieces? Hell no. She's only guilty of being a kid and doing what every kid does. I think her father should take a look at what some kids are doing and count himself lucky that the worst thing his daughter does is make a bitchy facebook post.

I don't see anything wrong with this, a lesson needs to be learned. Although, him shooting the laptop at the end was a bit unsettling.

@MattyFTM: I never knew my parents. So I never got the chance too.

I see nothing wrong with this, especially since he said this was going on for months.

What a terrible father. It doesn't matter if she's the most ungrateful child in the world: You do not tell your child get off their lazy ass, you do not tell your child you're disappointed in them, you do not put bullets through their stuff and tell them they have to pay for said bullets and the thing you thoughtlessly destroyed, and most of all, you do not decimate their social life by posting all that on facebook.

There are a lot of shitty kids out there, for sure. This is not how you deal with them. This sort of thing just fucks them up even worse. You need to give your child the respect that you want from them, even if they're not giving it to you. If you treat your child with respect, then they will learn to respect you, and that opens channels of communication, and you can begin to fix issues together. Punishment can be effective in the short term, but mutual respect and communication is a much healthier choice in the long run.

There's irony in the fact that he's trying to instill graciousness in her while he abuses her. She really has nothing to be gracious for, with a father like that. Yes, he provides for her, but the psychological damage is a larger toll.

@MattyFTM said:

She's only guilty of being a kid and doing what every kid does.

I'm not saying you're wrong but just as a counter-point, I kinda feel like he's only guilty of being a parent. Did he over-react? Sure he did. But much like you say about kids, that's just what parents do. He did it, I'm sure his parents did it, and I'm sure his daughter will do it when she has children of here own.

And as far as the laptop goes, as far as I'm concerned if he paid for it then that's HIS laptop that he's simple letting her use and he can do with it as he pleases.

This should've been private. Guy's an idiot.

Edit: Pretty much everything Matty said too.

In a vacuum, I'd agree that this is the wrong approach however, this could be the umpteenth attempt for the child's parents to teach her some respect and humility. We don't know how many other approaches they might have taken. We do know that she was grounded for doing something similar to this a few months earlier. If she posted that letter (and why Oh WHY?!) then she sounds like a spoiled and arrogant child. Most of us had to do chores growing up and guess what, it won't kill you. Plus it teaches you how to care for yourself when you're on your own. I have known quite a few people who don't know how to do their own laundry because they never had to growing up. It's the parents duty to teach the child and prepare them for independence. I know it's "cool" to hate your parents when you're a teenager because the world owes you a living, but teenagers (not all, but many) don't know anything. I will never understand why kids feel the need to bicker and insult others including their parents on something as public as Facebook.

@Akrid: Oh fuck off... he is supposed to be her PARENT not her friend. That "lets be friends" bullshit parenting style NEVER fucking works because the kid will run all over the parent and push them around. If your the parent you need to establish that you are fucking in charge or you will get nowhere.

Kids/Tweens/Teens do things like this. Its their nature. I'm not saying that's right or wrong its just what they do. If a parent wants to call them on their shit good for them, more power to em. Take control of your kids but going onto youtube to bitch about his kid is a bad example hes doing exactly what she was doing. Though I think he is a bit over-reacting with what he was saying in the last half, but hey.

Edit- Wait I didnt see him shooting the laptop, if he wasnt even going to show her the video in the first place, what the hell was the point of this? To show other kids, come on duder she didn't even rebel to strongly she was just letting off steam. It's not like she spat in his face and told him to get bent. (( I just started watching the persona er ))

@Akrid: I'm sorry duder, but no.

@CornBREDX: I don't wanna pry but since you already brought it up I won't be too far off to assume the dad isn't taking an active rule in you niece's upbringing. I mean is he off for work proposes or because he doesn't want to take part.

The dressing down was a proportionate response (though he does keep contradicting himself, and calling her a disappointment is pretty much the cuntiest thing you can say to your kid). Shooting up the laptop on the other hand is borderline psychopathic, and I think probably quite revealing of the kind of person he actually is behind closed doors. There's a difference between making your child respect you and intimidating them into fearing you with behaviour like this. Not really surprised she needed to vent if that's how he conducts himself.

@Demoskinos said:

@Akrid: Oh fuck off... he is supposed to be her PARENT not her friend. That "lets be friends" bullshit parenting style NEVER fucking works because the kid will run all over the parent and push them around. If your the parent you need to establish that you are fucking in charge or you will get nowhere.

It may have gotten to the point where she's learned too much from her father and would exploit the trust put upon her, you're right. But if you try this sort of thing this guy is doing, your are hurting your child in ways you can't see. This girl is not going to be a healthy human being down the road, I assure you.

@Rave said:

@Akrid Sorry but this sounds like such a huge load of shit. Do you have kids? Parents need to stop trying to be their kids friends and putting them on the same level as adults. They are kids teach them consequences of actions to keep them from turning into dregs on society. Shitty parents that believe this are just as bad as their shitty kids.

I'm sure this'll hurt my argument, but I am just barely not a kid. I don't really know how to respond to your argument because you have no proof to your points.

There are situations where mutual respect is difficult to get working, but would you not agree that if you were able to get it going, it would be preferable to other methods? Because despite your claims to the contrary, it can work. If you get your kid to express what they're thinking then you can see it from their perspective. They're perspective may turn out to be entirely wrong because, well, they're dumb kids, but you can help them with their problems and they'll actually like you for it. And yeah, maybe this method is pretty poor for getting your kids to do chores (It's a given in this day and age that kids will be ungrateful, unsympathetic little buggers), but it's highly effective for making them a decent, healthy human being!

But you're probably thinking about all those rich, snotty kids who have no boundaries - that is not what I'm preaching here. I'm not saying no boundaries. I'm saying, keep as gentle a hand as possible.

But of course, every child is different. It may not work in a lot of situations. If a child is leaning towards self-destructive behaviour then yeah, harsher methods should be enforced. But even when that's necessary, never should the assumption be that you own them because you created them, and this is the sort of behaviour this guy is displaying. That sort of thing might make life easier for you personally, but your child's mental health is a heavy price to pay.

@Jimbo: If that is how he feels that is how he feels. It would be an entirely different subject if lets say... she came out of the closet and was gay and he was disapointed in her because of a lifestyle choice or something but when she acts like a completely disrespectful cunt of fucking course as a parent you are going to be disappointed. And there was nothing psychopathic about destroying the laptop. That was the crux of her punishment was taking away her laptop this time permanently. His choice of using a gun over a hammer or whatever makes zero difference.

@Bocam said:

Is it wrong of me to find it weird that he works in IT with that accent and hat?

What a fucking cunt. The social services (or whatever the american equivalent is) should monitor this situation, as he comes off as a borderline psychopath.

Will he shoot at the stripper pole she will inevitably be using in the future?

Total overreaction on the father's part. What does he expect will happen after this, that she'll fall into place and suddenly start to respect him? He's fucked. . . his daughter already resents him and this will solidify her feelings.

It seems that whenever a discussion about parenting is brought up the response that repeatedly comes back is "parents these days should all be much tougher on their kids!". I can see that argument to an extent, but bringing up a kid with the right attitude, morals, intelligence, confidence, perspective, knowledge, etc. is a very complex thing and I doubt the answer is as basic as "be tough on them". There are examples of kids that had harsh upbringings and turned out crappy, there are examples of kids who had it very easy and turned out bad, there are examples of kids who had easy upbrings and turned out good, and there are examples of kids who had harsh upbrings and turned out good. It's a difficult issue but from what I've seen it's not about being harsh or being kind, different kids are going to respond differently depending on their personality, the situation and the degree to which the parents take their reward, punishment, or lack of either.

The kid seems somewhat ungrateful and that's something that should be dealt with but the Dad seems to take it too far. I mean you could speculate that the kid disrespected her parents a bunch of times before and this was the last straw, but look at the video, the Dad really emphasises that it's just about this one instance of her acting out, and I don't think it's that big a deal. As a response to what she did her Dad did not just put out a video of himself ranting at her to the general public (remembering how much of a dick people on the internet can be to people), which might have been okay, but then he also includes in that video him destroying her laptop and saying she has to pay for a new one, the bullets he used to destroy the old one and the software that he destroyed himself. The guy seems to be going way beyond what he should on this one and I don't think we give him the big thumbs up by default because he was tough on his kid, that just seems dumb.

Perhaps at the end of this the kid will turn around and say "You're right Dad, I was being a dick and I won't act out again", but doesn't it seem really plausible that the kid could turn around and go "You destroyed my shit and humiliated me on the internet, I respect you even less now"? Oh and maybe a trivial issue but I'm suspect of this guy's claims about moving out of the house, going to college, working two jobs, and being a volunteer firefighter at the age of fifteen.

FYI: I was rooting for the father the whole time up until the end.

You guys are nuts..

@Akrid: Oh fuck off... he is supposed to be her PARENT not her friend. That "lets be friends" bullshit parenting style NEVER fucking works because the kid will run all over the parent and push them around. If your the parent you need to establish that you are fucking in charge or you will get nowhere.

Your teenage girl is acting like a teenage girl? Better destroy her laptop.

Teach your kids that all problems can be solved by acting like an asshole and a gun. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, this guy should take a good long look in the mirror when wondering where his child got her attitude from.

@Jaytow: And if you can't separate the fact that guns aren't inherently evil then your in trouble. There is nothing wrong with owning or using a gun.

@Demoskinos said:

100% behind this guy. His daughter sounds like an absolutely ungrateful bitch. This guy is doing what most people don't do these days and that is BE A PARENT and take control of your damn kid. In fact I applaud this man.

I agree. When I saw the topic, I thought he beat her or something. But no, he just took all of her shit and embarassed her, which is something she deserves for what she did.

Retards raising retards.

Teenagers being teenagers.

Americans being dramatic. As usual.

Psycho with a gun is bad.

@Alexandruxx: Pretty much. Its obviously apparent how many people aren't fit to be parents judging by the comments in this thread about how it was wrong for him to take it public. Wrong, SHE is the one who took it public. SHE is the one who slandered her parents on a public forum. So if she wanted to do that you need to be ready to pay the piper. Its thinking outside of the box as a parent and I like it.

I think he probably overreacted, but you could see that he was actually hurt by what his daughter was saying about him. This seems like something he did in the heat of the moment before he had time to cool off, but apparently he did pay for the laptop so I have no problem with him destroying it. I think he's right to not buy her nice things anymore, but that seems like enough. I think grounding her for years would not be very effective, as she would just be forced to sneak out and thus break more rules.

To everyone going "eh this is what kids do" you're right, but it's the parents' job to teach their kids how to grow up, or at least not act like ungrateful brats. If all I had to do was clean up after myself and get someone a coffee every once in a while in exchange for a new laptop, that seems like a pretty good deal to me.

@Demoskinos said:

@Alexandruxx: Pretty much. Its obviously apparent how many people aren't fit to be parents judging by the comments in this thread about how it was wrong for him to take it public. Wrong, SHE is the one who took it public. SHE is the one who slandered her parents on a public forum. So if she wanted to do that you need to be ready to pay the piper. Its thinking outside of the box as a parent and I like it.

WRONG. . . a normal parent would address the issue at home, not publicly. Do you honestly feel that the daughter will magically fall into place after this? Her relationship with her father is fucked from this point on.

Quick question. . . do you have children? and if so, how much "outside of the box" parenting do you do?

@Rave: @Demoskinos: Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I don't think gratuitous use of firearms (and he's practically getting off over it when he's talking about the bullets he's using) should play any role in parenting. That and I'm just not a big fan of destroying valuable things like that just for the sake of it - it's an arrogant and disrespectful way to behave, even if it is something you own. If you're gonna take it away and sell it or give it to charity or something, fine. But don't try and teach a lesson about being respectful of the things people do for you by destroying something which a lot of time, effort and resources went into creating.

I do believe that teaching by example is ultimately more successful than ultimatums. Constructive > Destructive. If she is developing a destructive personality and lashing out at the people around her, it seems likely that she is getting that from him, imo.

@skadave said:

@Demoskinos said:

@Alexandruxx: Pretty much. Its obviously apparent how many people aren't fit to be parents judging by the comments in this thread about how it was wrong for him to take it public. Wrong, SHE is the one who took it public. SHE is the one who slandered her parents on a public forum. So if she wanted to do that you need to be ready to pay the piper. Its thinking outside of the box as a parent and I like it.

WRONG. . . a normal parent would address the issue at home, not publicly. Do you honestly feel that the daughter will magically fall into place after this? Her relationship with her father is fucked from this point on.

Quick question. . . do you have children? and if so, how much "outside of the box" parenting do you do?

He adressed it the same way she did. And I agree with this. Let's see her do that again.

@Demoskinos said:

100% behind this guy. His daughter sounds like an absolutely ungrateful bitch. This guy is doing what most people don't do these days and that is BE A PARENT and take control of your damn kid. In fact I applaud this man.

I agree. When I saw the topic, I thought he beat her or something. But no, he just took all of her shit and embarassed her, which is something she deserves for what she did.

@Alexandruxx

He adressed it the same way she did. And I agree with this. Let's see her do that again.

I can't tell if this is a thread about parenting or a thread about hoplophobia.