Hey guys, there's a real sexy hot girl at my work I wanna...

...get to know. Please help.

We only see eachother in passing because we work in different departments of the same building. I'm thinking about making her slip on the wet floor or throwing trash at her. How do you guys recommend I get her attention? I've tried leering at her from behind the counter, but she just seems annoyed?, and that only serves to make me more despondent. Any help is much appreciated.

Touch her shoulder.

u shuld ask her to a burgar place and eat out then eat out if you no wat i meen

Touch her other shoulder.

@Little_Socrates: For how long??

I know a guy that plays a lot of fighting games and he said the best way to get a girl to notice you is to talk about her thighs, inquire about her bra size, ask her to take off her shirt and then when all else fails smell her hair. Oh and don't forget to film her boobs, butt and feet. Chicks dig that stuff.

Kick her on the shin and run away.

@VinceNotVance: I'm thinking maybe chili dogs is best? Sonic always took his main squeeze to get chili dogs.

@McGhee: At the same time as the other one? Should I say anything or just jump right to the shoulders?

@FunExplosions said:

@VinceNotVance: I'm thinking maybe chili dogs is best? Sonic always took his main squeeze to get chili dogs.

@McGhee: At the same time as the other one? Should I say anything or just jump right to the shoulders?

When it comes to shoulder touching, timing is at the utmost importance. One could do the double shoulder touch from behind, but that would be a little creepy. On the other hand, the double shoulder touch from the front leaves too much of an air of friendliness. Experts suggest a shoulder touch from the left, perhaps followed with an awkward pause, and then side step and switch to the right adding in a slight caress. It takes years to truly master, but one has to start somewhere.

"Hey, guys, there's a real hot sexy girl at my work I wanna get to know. Please help."

Don't be silly, you don't have a job. I mean, just look at the state of those sentences! Just look!

But in all seriousness, 4,692 posts is an odd time to start trolling, don't you think? I'd guess you were just a bit tipsy, it being the weekend and all, but you correctly spelled "despondent," so that's ruled out...

Chicks love naked drawings of themselves. Draw her naked with huge titties, and send them to her in the mail. If that doesn't land you away from the rest of human society, keep trying.

Man, two of these threads in one day. Love is in the air!

Shit on her desk to show dominance

Well, at first: be honest. If you describe her as a "real hot sexy chick" you don't want to get to know her, you want to nail her. Getting to know her would mean to have at least some interest in her personality.

In this case, do her a favor and just leave her alone. She is probably not interested anyways if she seems annoyed when you're "leering" at her (like a creep).

You guys know nothing.

You should start out casually, like screaming "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!" Move on to giving her some compliments, but be sure to not overdo it, something like "Your eyes look tasty and I like the way you touch things." This is where you have to seal your half-way deal by giving her a gift. I would recommend a bag of tomatoes, they are red and remind us of love, but also good for you. Tell her you expect fresh made pasta sauce tonight. Because you can't let them decide, you have to take charge and be a man. Now you pretend to walk away, as not to seem clingy. But not before you turn around and throw a few crumpled up bills at her to make her feel cheap, it will lower her self-esteem and she'll think the pasta sauce is a good idea to prove to you she's a good find.

When you get to her place (because you already should know where she lives at this point) you should probably arrive naked. When she opens the door you should politely inform her that you don't even like pasta and that you want your tomatoes back. This is a trick. Now she probably have already made the pasta sauce from the tomatoes and she'll feel guilty for using them as you just instructed her you want them back. She'll feel obligated to pay you back somehow and since you're naked, you'll appear cold and in need of bodily warmth. She'll probably offer you sexytime at this point and you should accept it as a compliment to her. Once you've had sex you could, depending on where you want the relationship to go, always go with the standard "Sorry, I have an appointment with the doctor, you know how it is with STDs.. always seeing the doctor!" Or if you want to get with this girl more often, give her a toothbrush and tell her you're moving in tonight and that you expect egg and bacon for breakfast. If she's really good in bed, you should probably pay her also. I'd say about $10/30 min. But only if she's really good.

If at any point should this rock-solid plan of attack fail, always go to the tried and true; crying like a bitch. That always gets the juices going.

Tell her you called her 'sexy' on a video game forum! She'll be so flattered she'll practically beg you to take her out!

Say "Hey, baby" and she will do the rest.

fuck a giant fish

pull her hair that seemed to work when i was little either that or kick her over the shin but not to hard you dont wanna be a bully.

and if that does not work you can always give her a note saying will you be my girlfriend

[ ] yes

[ ] no

[ ] maybe

@FunExplosions: yea good plan chili dogs are good first date material and they also let you picture her with meat in her mouth

What you need first is eye contact. Then you slowly approach her from the front, put your left arm on her right shoulder and your right arm on her left shoulder, this is called the X-formation ( X is pronunced 'Cross'). Once you are in position look up at the ceiling/sky and shout: I'M STUCK!

If that doesn't work then you're outta luck.

start stalking her, follow her where she goes on break. say you notice that she goes to this one place every day then start going there. start ordering the same thing as her. bump into her and say sorry, o your eating, drinking that, i also like that. hi, my name is ______. hopefully she will say my name is_____. you two awkwardly go your ways.

I heard down the grapevine putting dicks in boxes is the way to go these days.

Pull your penis out and walk by her as you use your left hand to touch her right breast while you reach around with your right hand and touch her left butt cheek as you say repeatedly "Let's fuck!". All you have to do is latch on to her like a leech for the remainder of the work day in the same position and you should get her.

I know a guy that plays a lot of fighting games and he said the best way to get a girl to notice you is to talk about her thighs, inquire about her bra size, ask her to take off her shirt and then when all else fails smell her hair. Oh and don't forget to film her boobs, butt and feet. Chicks dig that stuff.

Just a general note: hitting on coworkers is never a good idea.

Work is work duder, try to avoid dating where you go to make money. I'm sure they are plenty of girls outside.

Wisk her away to a tropical island on your boat.

Also buy a boat.

Defenestrate any and everything she holds dear. Then defenestrate her. Mix up the windows for variety.

If leering from behind the counter doesn't work, then she sounds stuck-up. Pass.

You should play Noby Noby Boy, it explains everything.

@Red12b said:

fuck a giant fish

I'm bored and reading things.

So much good advice here! I think I may have become an expert in woman after reading all this!

I find the chloroform+duck tape combo to be very effective.

@Subjugation said:

Defenestrate any and everything she holds dear. Then defenestrate her. Mix up the windows for variety.

Good god! Who taught you this word?! It's brilliant. Who knew such a common action had its very own word?! "I defenestrated my box of window cleaner today to show them who's boss."

@NTM said:

Pull your penis out and walk by her as you use your left hand to touch her right breast while you reach around with your right hand and touch her left butt cheek as you say repeatedly "Let's fuck!". All you have to do is latch on to her like a leech for the remainder of the work day in the same position and you should get her.

Won't work. I wear an overcoat.

@GlenTennis said:

Wisk her away to a tropical island on your boat.

Also buy a boat.

Boats are so expensive, though. And gas prices these days... Whoof! This must be what my mom meant when she said riches beget bitches.

@clumsyninja1 said:

Work is work duder, try to avoid dating where you go to make money. I'm sure they are plenty of girls outside.

I have considered this, but have decided she is the love of my life.

@Red12b said:

fuck a giant fish

This lets 'em know you're willing to go to great lengths to something something.

Touch her dick.

@Morrow said:

Well, at first: be honest. If you describe her as a "real hot sexy chick" you don't want to get to know her, you want to nail her. Getting to know her would mean to have at least some interest in her personality.

In this case, do her a favor and just leave her alone. She is probably not interested anyways if she seems annoyed when you're "leering" at her (like a creep).

You actually reasonable and brought up valid points. Looking at the other comments, this seems unique. I'm impressed.

@AlexanderSheen said:

@Morrow said:

Well, at first: be honest. If you describe her as a "real hot sexy chick" you don't want to get to know her, you want to nail her. Getting to know her would mean to have at least some interest in her personality.

In this case, do her a favor and just leave her alone. She is probably not interested anyways if she seems annoyed when you're "leering" at her (like a creep).

You actually reasonable and brought up valid points. Looking at the other comments, this seems unique. I'm impressed.

And totally worthless and unrelated.

You should go to her and say "hheeeeeeeeyyyy". If she frowns say "I like you". If she doesn't frown say "Wanna have sex?".

Scream I MUST FUCK YOU

@CL60 said:

Touch her dick.

Problem solved.

Tell her you play Halo.

Try and casually mention the size of your penis when talking to her. For example, "I was out this past weekend on my bike. There's this beautiful trail that runs along the forest. During the spring, the flowers in the field explode with color. Sadly, I can't ride for too long because of my giant penis." Or perhaps, "Do you follow local sports teams? I enjoy their events, too. I always wanted to participate but was unable to find protection large enough to contain my giant penis." And then there's, "Yes, I too saw that movie and or television show this past weekend. I thought the story was inspiring and the characters exceptionally portrayed by the actors. I have a giant penis." Whatever you do, speak with confidence and maintain eye contact. Women are impressed by men who are honest about their giant penises.

@dudeglove said:

Honk her nose.

I salute you sir, this is the best comment in this thread.

@Winternet said:

You should go to her and say "hheeeeeeeeyyyy". If she frowns say "I like you". If she doesn't frown say "Wanna have sex?".

Your interaction with women must be very successful.

@Morrow said:

@Winternet said:

You should go to her and say "hheeeeeeeeyyyy". If she frowns say "I like you". If she doesn't frown say "Wanna have sex?".

Your interaction with women must be very successful.

Unluckily, they almost always frown. Almost.