@blacklabeldomm: Easier said than done. @punkxblaze: I just realised about that potential. @Kibblez: Hey look, a unicorn. @Icemael: I thought about that a few times. I can't think if I would be sad or not. I'd imagine it would be pretty hard for me not to be sad. But things could be become better than what it is at the moment.
Perhaps you should go and see somebody just to talk to them, not for psychological help -- talking through things always aides the situation. Maybe you should also consider sitting down and talking with your sister about some of these thoughts, or your mother, or your father. They're family, even if you're not quite sure of their position in your life. Don't fear their responses. If you're non-confrontational, you should be able to have a heart-to-heart, if you'll forgive my use of a hackneyed phrase.
I can't say that I've been in your situation but I can say that you need to talk to someone about this. I'm no psychologist, but I don't think you're fucked up. If you feel comfortable enough telling this to a group of complete strangers, then maybe you should pop into see a family counsellor. I had issues with my folks awhile back and talking with this guy helped. It didn't solve my family situation overnight (in fact, I still deal with some of it today at 34 years of age) but the dude at least gave me things to do to cope a little better.
You don't want stuff like this to simmer. It'll affect any future relationships you have with girls (or guys, if you swing that way) and make it hard to have healthy relationships.
Anyway, I understand where the OP is coming from. Since 14 I've somewhat turned into a cynic because of my family and a few friends who screwed me over. Would I change it? Probably not. I think it has made me stronger.
One thing that sometimes work is just faking it. If you put a little effort into want to care your mindset might change. Anyway, I'm not really great with advice but I hope it all works out. :/
It sounds like you've been through some shitty stuff, but it also somewhat sounds like the relationships aren't really there because you aren't meeting them halfway. But if you don't want to do that, then whatever.
Hopefully it'll pass, I'm the same age as you and I don't have any real connection to my family. I see my dad less than you would see your mum (and my parents are still married in a happy relationship, he works away), my mum is sort of a tough love kind of person, extremely realistic and cynical, which is good for learning the ways of the world, not for family love, and I straight up don't care about my brother, and when our parents die I will probably have nothing to do with him ever again, he hasn't done anything super bad, we just don't get along. None of my extended family live within 500 kms of us, so at least you have grandparents.
Some of us are built for families, others are not. Mine at least functions to my physical and intellectual benefit, if not my emotional or social benefit.
I was the same way until about 19, I tried everything to fix it, therapy included. Just know that you'll grow out of the hatred and look towards that fact always while keeping your cool. Also NEVER go off on your family, when you get super pissed just walk away.
From what I've read, it's how you say: you aren't connected to them. If they were all strangers or acquaintances you probably wouldn't be thinking it over as much as you are. However, they are your family and you feel that you should feel something when you don't(or rather, you think it's normal to feel something but you don't). How it happened and why doesn't really matter right now because the fact of the matter is that currently you don't love your family.
Will that change? I don't know but the feeling I get from your post is that you don't really want to care for them all that much for one reason or another. Obviously you'll have to change your outlook on your family - on a whole and on an individual basis - in order create/repair bonds between yourselves. Being realistic, however, people rarely change so quickly and even less so when they set out to do it so even if you set out to change yourself, you'll probably find it quite difficult to get past your current animosity/indifference towards them. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just stating what I feel will happen.
There's always a chance that you can change things for the better and if you really want to, it can happen. But if you're more or less okay with how things are now, then you'll probably find it difficult to find it in yourself to make things better. In any case, I didn't get you were mentally unstable or anti-social from your post. It just seems that you don't have any real affection for your family and sometimes that's what happens. It doesn't make you abnormal or whatever, you just never created a connection between yourself and them. If that's something you can live with, then you're well within your power to do so. You are 18 after all, your life can go any which way from this point if you want. (Sorry this was so long T_T)
You forgot to begin your sentence with a capital letter, and to end with punctuation.
@Meteora: What I think is that it's not that you don't care about them. To me it seems like you are angry at you parents, and want to punish them. It doesn't seem like you're giving them much of a chance to show you they care. She offered you to stay with her, and you declined. From what you tell me, it's hard to figure out why. She probably has a newer home, and doesn't short circuit the breaker of the micro wave oven all the time. And the bond you have with her, is as you say, indifferent to the bond you have with your grand parents. So to me it would seem like a win win situation. You get a better place to stay, and your mom gets to have you around. The way I see it you don't want her to have you around. Rather than you not wanting to have her around.
Yeah it's called being a teenager. Most people go through it. I certainly did i just didn't write a blog on the internet about it.
Certainly wished my grandmother to be dead. Fairly sure i said it more than once. Now she is dead. It's sad but i've made a joke or two about it in my time as well. That's just my sense of humour kicking in you either laugh or your horrified.
I haven't to read the full thread, but from reading the first few paragraphs I get what you mean...I love my family and I'm sure they love me also...but I can't stand my family and try to avoid them as much as possible.
Trying to have a conversation or even tell them something that may seem unimportant, ultimately becomes a huge deal for my parents (I assume that's because they're worried) an example..."I'm going out, I'll be back tomorrow" whereby my mother will respond with a 100 questions "where you going, who with, what time you coming back" then she has to remind of silly things such as "don't get into fights, don't drink and drive etc.". I do judo on Tuesday and Thursdays and play football on Friday...she knows this but always calls me and I can't answer at the time, then when I get back home she moans at me cause I intentionally didn't answer her call.
I've never lived on my own, but when my parents went away to Hong Kong recently for 2 months, I though it's be rather lonely coming home to an empty house but I really enjoyed it. I re-arrange the house (well the kitchen) the way I liked it, and nobody complained. The house was neat and tidy, which amazed my mother...now that they've been back for a few months, it's a mess and unorganised, again!
Another thing, if anything goes wrong in our house, it tends to me my fault simply because I'm the youngest...I assume. The boiler broke, I've never had a need to touch or change the settings and it just so happened to be my fault, our house could fall down and it would still be my fault. Thankfully I don't have to deal with my parents anymore. In roughly 48days I'm move away and have a flat with a few like-minded mates. But still I love my parents.
@TotalEklypse: Funny, I remember discussing with another adult about their kids. She said that her kids find her annoying, and I said that its probably because of the hormones and that they'll grow out of it. I guess I should hope that's the case for me, otherwise I can't think how the hell am I going go through life without any family support.
@DrGanon: Funny thing is I did run away for a night. It was damn cold in the winter too. At that time I was a little pissed off over something small. Even more funny is that I got a Xbox 360 out of it too. ^_^ Okay I guess that's not nearly as funny as much as it is fucked up. I kinda regret about doing that back then... but hey a 360! <_<
@DCFGS3: Sorry to hear about that, it sounds like your affection for your family is just as bad as mine.
@SyntheticCFM: Relate is a poor word of choice on my end. Maybe at least show some remote sign of friendliness and utter respect.
@Jazz: Nonsense. Giantbomb is one big happy family. <3 On a more serious note, I wasn't expecting that I would contribute to that mess by pouring out personal issues on the internet. I apologise.
@Everyones_A_Critic: THESE WOUNDS WILL NOT HEAALLLLLLLL
@BlastProcessing: I didn't choose their album name because I'm emo. Okay well, maybe back then I was super emo, but now I'm somewhat of a functional person. I just thought their album name sounded cool so I used it as a username. But I am a big fan of the band.
@Sadisticham: I guess I'm glad to hear I'm not the only insane one then? Though the problem is that I think I've gotten to the point where I've said "I wished he died" at least more than a hundred times. Granted, I've had 18 years to say this, but it could be a issue.
Thanks to the users who respond thoughtfully, and well those who didn't, thanks anyways for being humourous and witty. =P I don't think I'll ever change though, its a hard mentality to get out of at this stage.
I can relate in a way however i can say pretty quickly i do love my Family so maybe not THAT much. I dont share any interest with any of my family, i am the ONLY one who is INTO videogames. They only play your Call of Duty's and annual sports games so that topic always goes nowehere. Every single one is into a sport of some kind with everyone loving Soccer and going crazy for watching it. I myself find sports fun to play now and then but watching them or actually talking about them is not for me. They are all very much into our Culture while I myself am not. It is a bit awkward to have a conversation with my dad, while with my mom much less. Awkward is the main word here i guess, i do enjoy some time with family but alot of times I would rather be with friends.
Maybe you are worrying a bit to much, when around family just stay calm and act normal. No matter how awkward it may seem or become just relax man. Maybe you do need to get away for a while though.
yea ..rereading this during they day while i am awake and not so drunk sorta changed my outlook on it. sounds to me like the family is seriously making the effort. which is more than some people have for sure. deal with it. they care and you're not even giving them the time of day even with your own mom almost in tears, because u act like you do.. is complete bullshit. i do suggest getting some mental help. i cant say this is all hormones at all or anything of that sort. sounds kinda.. selfish.
the way i see it they have all but held your hand in life and you are an ingrate. perfect example is your sister (which you call in one breath a bitch and then praise for buying you shit). so your dad and mom got divorced boohoo. most of our generation is from broken homes so you have no sympathy from me there. what really gets me is your mom got hosed in that deal by someone who cheated or whatever, yet you choose to make her life that more miserable by turning your back on her when she is at her worst. in all honesty i have been kind compared to what i want to say. if it is pity you want then you deserve none. i have to ask who exactly is paying for your college? your sister already held your hand just to sign a little paper work. is it fair to assume mommy and daddy? before i get too angry with this i will just put it bluntly. man up.
yea ..rereading this during they day while i am awake and not so drunk sorta changed my outlook on it. sounds to me like the family is seriously making the effort. which is more than some people have for sure. deal with it. they care and you're not even giving them the time of day even with your own mom almost in tears, because u act like you do.. is complete bullshit. i do suggest getting some mental help. i cant say this is all hormones at all or anything of that sort. sounds kinda.. selfish. the way i see it they have all but held your hand in life and you are an ingrate. perfect example is your sister (which you call in one breath a bitch and then praise for buying you shit). so your dad and mom got divorced boohoo. most of our generation is from broken homes so you have no sympathy from me there. what really gets me is your mom got hosed in that deal by someone who cheated or whatever, yet you choose to make her life that more miserable by turning your back on her when she is at her worst. in all honesty i have been kind compared to what i want to say. if it is pity you want then you deserve none. i have to ask who exactly is paying for your college? your sister already held your hand just to sign a little paper work. is it fair to assume mommy and daddy? before i get too angry with this i will just put it bluntly. man up. also i fully endorse this picture lol. "
Aw, I wanted to quote the original dude before he deleted his post. Anyways:
Yes, this is kind of a response that I probably should have been warranted. Its probably more than the hormones, its probably me being so selfish. My dad always says I'm self-centric. I often find that hard to believe, but maybe he was referring to how I don't make a effort to appreciating my family more or do something to help them out. I would refuse to go and help him out with his work or feel little to no sympathy for those who have been hurt. On a reflection, it sorta makes me look like a douche and someone with serious issues. Maybe even go to hell, if there is one.
seriously man read your own post. i find the best therapy is to look at yourself. your dad is right in the nicest way he could have put it. leave it to us on the net to give you a verbal ass beating. seriously though i dont see you as a total loss. the first step is realizing you have issues then dealing with them the best you can. just dont do it alone. from my experience it is the worst thing you can do. just talk to them.. if you didnt care you would in no way be trying to reflect. its all a mask. man up son and talk it out. they are family they will care even if you say things they dont wana hear.
Maybe you feel that way. Buy people miss what they no longer have. If at one point you will not be able to see them again then you will know whether or not you care. When people in my family had gotten lost in the mall or something, my heart would always pound and I'd want them back safe, even if they were annoying as hell. It's just the way it works out mostly. If they went away, then you would know if you truly missed them or not.
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