The Unflushables - How to Deal with Floaters and the Likes?

drop a couple sheets of toilet paper into the bowl, that will weigh it down

Got a Dark Souls Doodie? Drop a bomb on it.

@Spoonman671 said:

I usually just have my sniper hit them with the plasma rifle. I'll use the Headshot ability if it's a Heavy Floater, though.

I think it`s pretty funny that this is the first thing I thought of with this topic title.

My first instinct when I read this title was... "No... It can't be a thread about that... This has to be some bait and switch type thing."

This thread is still open?!

Thread of the year.

I was about to suggest you fake your own poop, but congrats on solving this conundrum.

Break it up? You must have a weak toilet because mine has been able to get rid of the occasional iron floater like a champ.

@Seppli said:

Success!

It went down in two phases.

• Phase 1: After some marinating, it got sucked into the drain - though its 'head' was still peeking out. Added some toilet cleaner and let it be for a while.
• Phase 2: Another wait and flush later, it's gone from view. I'm afraid it might be lurking right out of sight though. Good enough.

It got kinda dragged along the bottom of the bowl, and left a brown trail, kinda like a slug. So I need to get that toilet brush out after all. Nonetheless - poop crisis managed. Thanks a lot for your support. You guys are the best.

You are the best, followed!

Use the flush ability with your assault class on any floater.

Use a liquid laser!

Use a liquid laser!

@Seppli said:

Success!

It went down in two phases.

• Phase 1: After some marinating, it got sucked into the drain - though its 'head' was still peeking out. Added some toilet cleaner and let it be for a while.
• Phase 2: Another wait and flush later, it's gone from view. I'm afraid it might be lurking right out of sight though. Good enough.

It got kinda dragged along the bottom of the bowl, and left a brown trail, kinda like a slug. So I need to get that toilet brush out after all. Nonetheless - poop crisis managed. Thanks a lot for your support. You guys are the best.

It terrifies me that over three hours passed between the OP and this follow-up.

@BisonHero said:

@Spoonman671

I usually just have my sniper hit them with the plasma rifle. I'll use the Headshot ability if it's a Heavy Floater, though.

Fuck, you beat me to it.

Don't forget missiles from your heavy. They break up large chunks of floaters real good, uh huh.

I took a huge shit at work one time, I tried flushing but it began to flood, so I thought up a remarkable plan "I'll flush again". The water and shit began pouring out in a torrent of brown gore. I ran....and never looked back.

my ex-girlfriend's aunt had a cottage with super shitty plumbing and if your turd was more than about 8 cm long you would have to cut it up with a long handled knife she kept next to the toilet, or it'd gum up the pipes. She was strange...

Stay Classy Giant Bomb.

@PillClinton said:

Welcome to healthy eating, dawg. Floaters are the norm. I have a very powerful flushing toilet for whatever reason, so it's not an issue.

If he's a vegetarian, sure. If he's lifting to gain mass and eating normal amounts of fat and protein, it shouldn't really float. Healthy eating != floating shit.

@murisan said:

@PillClinton said:

Welcome to healthy eating, dawg. Floaters are the norm. I have a very powerful flushing toilet for whatever reason, so it's not an issue.

If he's a vegetarian, sure. If he's lifting to gain mass and eating normal amounts of fat and protein, it shouldn't really float. Healthy eating != floating shit.

Vegetarian? Please. I mean a well-balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and healthy fat and protein. Pure fat and protein diet =/= healthy eating either. Nor is it the only thing lifters should be eating. More of it than normal? Sure, but along with other stuff too. Fiber, which is plentiful in foods we actually should be eating, contributes to floating shit. Also, thank you for making me type "floating shit" on a video game forum. I think that's a first for me.

I usually use a plunger and hold it down against the hole then flush like mad (without overflushing of course). It'll eventually go down. Just gotta wear the sucker down.

I've made some stupid threads, but come on. This is overboard.

Fucking flagged. Also: WHAT THE FUCK?!

@Aegon said:

I've made some stupid threads, but come on. This is overboard.

@Jrinswand said:

Fucking flagged. Also: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Oh, don't be so sensitive. Everyone shits.

Floaters are nothing. Come back when your shit comes out neon green.

This thread is fucking hilarious........  Mods, please dont lock it

...

HIGH POWERED EXPLOSIVES.

Lift it out of the bowl with a toothbrush, wrap it in toilet paper and throw it out the bathroom window.

@Spoonman671 said:

I usually just have my sniper hit them with the plasma rifle. I'll use the Headshot ability if it's a Heavy Floater, though.

I was thinking the samething at first.

Also gross dude.

@Bucketdeth said:

I took a huge shit at work one time, I tried flushing but it began to flood, so I thought up a remarkable plan "I'll flush again". The water and shit began pouring out in a torrent of brown gore. I ran....and never looked back.

I'm sure your co-workers and the janitor appreciated that.

Rarely do I pass something so unwieldy the porcelain champion can't slay it. The mess created by mashing the log with the toilet brush is regrettable at best and disgusting and unsanitary at worst. Either bite the bullet and mash it up and then twirl the brush in fresh water a few times or, if you're alone, let it soak for a while...? A dangerous option, of course, but if no one is around to see your shit, does it make a sound?

It's close to Halloween- Scare the shit out of it.

Giant Bomb folks!

@murisan said:

What.. the fuck? Well, you obviously need to weaponize it.

Make that shit go NUCLEAR.

Crucify one and leave it on display.

The others will not dare to oppose you then.

Great thread. Also kind of surprised about some of the reactions, this is so harmless. I was hoping it would've gone overboard, with lot's of sharing of weird bathroom experiences. Used to laugh myself a seizure over stuff like this on another forum, and the stuff they wrote was incredible and scary at the same time. Accidents with poop involved makes for hilarious stories. Yeah I know, I'm childish like that.

@Mcfart said:

@Bucketdeth said:

I took a huge shit at work one time, I tried flushing but it began to flood, so I thought up a remarkable plan "I'll flush again". The water and shit began pouring out in a torrent of brown gore. I ran....and never looked back.

I'm sure your co-workers and the janitor appreciated that.

I will never know, but I can tell you that the janitors are in only once a week, and I've gotten to know them and are very nice. This day was a Sunday and the janitors are in on Wednesdays, so it would be one of the managers who had to clean it up, who are also complete dicks. I feel bad about it, but shit happens.

@Mcfart said:

@Bucketdeth said:

I took a huge shit at work one time, I tried flushing but it began to flood, so I thought up a remarkable plan "I'll flush again". The water and shit began pouring out in a torrent of brown gore. I ran....and never looked back.

I'm sure your co-workers and the janitor appreciated that.

I will never know, but I can tell you that the janitors are in only once a week, and I've gotten to know them and are very nice. This day was a Sunday and the janitors are in on Wednesdays, so it would be one of the managers who had to clean it up, who are also complete dicks. I feel bad about it, but shit happens.

@CH3BURASHKA said:

Rarely do I pass something so unwieldy the porcelain champion can't slay it. The mess created by mashing the log with the toilet brush is regrettable at best and disgusting and unsanitary at worst. Either bite the bullet and mash it up and then twirl the brush in fresh water a few times or, if you're alone, let it soak for a while...? A dangerous option, of course, but if no one is around to see your shit, does it make a SMELL

**fixed**

*walks into thread*

*reads OP and various posts*

o_O

*walks out*

@Turtlebird95 said:

It's close to Halloween- Scare the shit out of it.

You sir have made my night.

@Everyones_A_Critic said:

I've never had an unflushable shit. But I know all too well the "endless wipe".

;_; we must never speak of those

Just leave it, let someone else deal with it.

Run hot water and pour it into the toilet bowl. Wait a few minutes. Try again. 

Well the site is called 'Giant Bomb' and in a particular context, this problem could be described as a giant bomb...

I was a bit on the fence about locking this thread, but it's been flagged far more than most content that violates the rules and I don't think it's exactly what we should be discussing on the forums. We're not gonna demand that these forums exactly be the classiest place on the web, but a graphic discussion of how to dispose of faecal matter seems a bit far even for here. This thread is not appropriate for Giant Bomb and is at best struggling to generate proper discussion.